


Until I Find You

by maybetomorrow



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anastasia AU, F/M, Kara doesn't remember who she is, Kira!Danvers, Mike Matthews - Freeform, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2018-10-08 06:06:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 60,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10380129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybetomorrow/pseuds/maybetomorrow
Summary: Kira Danvers has spent the last 8 years trying to figure out who she is and where she came from.  And now, after being assigned her first story as a reporter for CatCo, she's been given the perfect chance -- Superman is looking for his family too, and that is the story she wants to write.  She just has to find a way to talk to him.Mon-El has been a prisoner of the DEO for two years, ever since he landed on Earth, having narrowly escaped an uprising on Krypton and the planet's destruction.  But when Superman starts looking for Kara Zor-El, Mon-El comes up with a plan to break free and fulfill an oath he made decades ago.  And he'll do anything to see it through.--Anastasia AU





	1. The Fall of Krypton

**Author's Note:**

> All good fandoms deserve an Anastasia AU.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 30 years ago...

There was a time not long ago, when the great planet of Krypton thrived, advancing the greatest philosophies and technologies of their galaxy. I, still yet a baby, was the youngest child of the House of El, the governing family of our great civilization. And my father was one of the greatest Kryptonians of them all. 

We were celebrating a momentous occasion, the end of a 100 year war with the neighboring planet Daxam. The greatest dignitaries and members of each Kryptonian family were assembled, to finally welcome the Prince of Daxam, who had been instrumental in the peace agreement, and several members of his high council. The festivities were cheerful, the planets were hopeful, and the people were pleased to be free from danger. For a moment, it seemed no star shined brighter in the sky than our red sun in this moment of peace. 

Although she was only sixteen, my cousin Kara was already blossoming into a distinguished young woman, a truth seeker destined to be a great dignitary. And then, perhaps, to carry the legacy of leadership for the House of El and guide our people into an era of new prosperity and cooperation. 

But she would never lead our people, for a great shadow descended over the House of El that night. His name was Non, Lieutenant of the Kryptonian military forces and the husband of Kara's beloved aunt Astra. Defended by a number of armed Kryptonian and Daxamite guards, and supported by a mob of fellow eco-terrorists, Non descended upon the event, walking up to my father upon his arrival and spitting at his feet. Years of animosity and tension seemed to rise to the surface, and without time for civility, they exchanged cruel words that did not reach my ears. And when my father tried to cast him out, Non laughed. 

“I only came to warn you. The death of Krypton, the death of the House Of El is upon us. This is just the beginning,” Non announced to all in attendance. 

A murmur began to take root in the guests and hysteria spread among them. And thus, the seed of the civil unrest that marked our planet’s final days was planted.

“You have betrayed our people for the last time. I will not rest until Krypton sees justice for your treachery. I will not rest until the House of El is wiped from the face of the universe. Beginning with you.” 

With a blow to the chest from a concealed weapon, my father laid dying on the foyer floor. There were screams and people shoving each other out of the way. That was when Non and his faction attacked our home, our guests, and our family. My mother, distressed, placed me in the care of my aunt Alura, Kara's mother, bidding me good wishes and parting with me forever. I wish to report that my mother survived, but as I learned as a young man, all hope had been dashed from the hearts of my people before I ever escaped. 

Alura guided Kara and our Daxamite visitors to the private cellars of the building, where the El's kept that which was most valuable and essential to them. The doors were blasted open and a Daxamite went ahead of us to check if the cellar was safe. On one end of the room, shelves of books held the records of each invention and life-saving medication the House of El had created for the protection and well-being of our people.On the other end, a line of evacuation pods, one for each member of the House of El, stood in wait for such a moment as that one. But when Alura reached the pods, she found only three. 

Heartbroken at the thought of leaving her Zor-El, and overwhelmed with guilt, Alura resolved to stay behind. In her place, a Daxamite stepped forward from the cluster of council members and vowed to guard the children of El with his life. Alura nodded, then bid her daughter a tearful goodbye, offering her a small green necklace so a piece of her could always remain with her daughter, guiding over her. Then she instructed the young man to set the course himself, selecting the planet so Non would never find them. Non had been known to have many ways to get the enemy to talk. It was what got him such a high ranking in the military — ruthlessness and a willingness to do whatever it took to help his cause. It had never been a problem until his cause was the eradication of the entire House of El. 

It was a moment of great helplessness for all gathered in that room, as Alura decided who would live and who would die, and each took their fate with grace and mourning. Although then, perhaps they still held onto hope, to have such an honorable goodbye. But they were doomed, because the planet did not long outlive my father. Krypton fell, and with it her sister planet. And then our star system faded from existence, all while I was destined to float through space without a thought of the world I had lost. 

When the Daxamite placed my cousin and I in the pods, Alura turned away, her cheeks tear-stained, denying herself an additional goodbye, for fear she would choose selfishness and spare herself to follow her child away from Krypton. The Daxamite bent over the panel and pressed each key deliberately, charting a course for another star system, somewhere we might be safe to grow and survive. Then everything went dark. 

I have watched the scene through my own eyes many times over, the benefit of one of the few gifts my aunt sent with me to remember our people. It still brings me no answers. And these last thirty years, it has become no clearer. Despite my certainty that they followed, I do not know if my cousin or the young Daxamite ever made it off of Krypton.They were not on Earth when I arrived.I have not found them yet, among the many aliens who have taken refuge on this planet.But I have been searching for them ever since. 

And I will _never_ stop searching. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just the prologue, so it's a bit different from the rest of the story.  
> We won't be seeing Kal-El for a while, and he won't be narrating anything else, as far as I can anticipate.  
> The rest of this is gonna be bouncing between Mon-El and Kara's perspectives. And maybe we will get some other perspectives for a little while, just to up the fun. I don't know...
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! And come talk to me on tumblr. I'm karadanversprince over there.


	2. A Rumor In National City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you heard? There's a rumor in National City. Have you hear what they're saying on the streets? Although the Els did not survive, one daughter may still be alive...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes out to AvengingLegendHobo for being so supportive of my writing these past couple weeks and for motivating me to post two chapters in less than 24 hours. 
> 
> Also, all my love and gratitude to Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Tuckshop Muffin, and ThePurpleCrayon for your sweet comments. 
> 
> Honestly, the prologue is far from favorite chapter written so far, so I hope you'll be loving the rest of this even more.

It started with a whisper. Metropolis was on edge, and there wasn’t a sign of Superman to be found anywhere.The people were concerned. 

Then in a media flood fury that only the Daily Planet could have pulled off, there was an exclusive. 

A HERO’S SEARCH FOR FAMILY

The headline was everywhere.And it wasn’t just in Metropolis.National City had gotten it’s fair share of Superman hype, with CatCo desperately trying to compete with the Daily Planet’s coverage. 

Mon-El looked up from his spot at the bar, and noticed the banner scrolling across the bottom of the television.He focused on the screen, trying to hear the report over the loud conversations of other patrons and the clash of pool balls and pint glasses smacking into each other.

“So it seems Earth may have another superhero lying in wait.Although Superman has provided us with very little information about this mysterious family member, we do know one thing — her name, Kara Zor-El.With National City News, this is Heather Atkinson, signing off.”

He sighed and drew another sip from his beer.It had been a long time since he had heard that name.

“Good luck Kal-El,” he muttered to himself as he swirled the remaining inch of liquid around the glass before downing it.“Easier said than done.”He would know.

Mon-El had all the tools at his disposal, and Kara had still managed to avoid his detection for the last two years since he landed on this damned planet.Although, he thought, Superman did have one advantage.He could just leave to go hunting for his cousin.If he could just get _out_ of the DEO, he knew he could find her.Of course, getting out of the DEO would be the difficult part.But he had a hint of an idea.A good one this time.

Mon-El looked behind him, his eyes trained on the two DEO guards watching him carefully.They were smaller guys than usual, but J’onn sent them with the big guns this time.Sure, he could probably fight either of them, but could he escape too?He wasn’t so sure.Or maybe he could just make a run for it?He was fast.And he hadn’t tried it yet.But if he did, where would he go?Everything he owned was at the DEO, and finding Kara on his own was hardly going to be any easier without all the DEO resources.He shook his head as he turned back to the screen to find yet another story on Superman’s leave of absence.

“…and the resounding cry from the people is ‘Who exactly is this Kara Zor-El?’All evidence seems to suggest that she is none other than the long-lost sister to our very own Superman…”He snorted.He’d like to see that evidence.

“M’gann,” he called, getting the his friend’s attention.“Can I get one more before I head out?”The Martian bartender smiled at him and wandered over to the tap.  
“Think they’ll let you finish it this time?” M’gann asked as she passed him a new glass.

“I’ll take what I can get.”Mon-El forced a smile and turned, waving at his guards.“Besides, I could really use it today.”

***

He’d managed to chug his drink before the guards got too impatient with him.And since it was already making itself out to be a difficult day, Mon-El decided to leave without a fuss, which was better than most of his recent trips outside of the DEO.If he wanted to loosen his chain anytime too, he’d need to get on J’onn’s good side.And that started with _not_ injuring the agents whenever J’onn was merciful enough to give him an afternoon out.

Safely back in DEO custody, he sat in the briefing room as the agents he’d been assigned today scribbled furiously in their logs, writing everything of importance they could recall from the outing.He imagined how irritating that must be.Rao only knew how much it irked him, waiting for them to finish their reports so he could be cleared back into the control room and get back to work.The ordeal almost made the hour or so of freedom not worth it.Almost.

Once the reports were through, he was free to roam unaccompanied through the facility.Immediately he set out in search of his only friend in this hell hole.Winn Schott Jr was genius in his own right, and a trustworthy one at that.And trustworthy was exactly what Mon-El needed right now.

“Winn, I’ve got an idea and I need your help,” he declared, making his way over to Winn’s desk space in the control center.

“Mon-El, not again.” Winn said, throwing his head back to glare at the Daxamite.

“Hear me out.It _will_ work this time.”Winn waited to let him continue.Mon-El looked around then lowered his voice.“If I can’t get myself out of here, I’ll need someone to advocate for me.”

“Sure, but who?”

“Superman.”Winn laughed, loudly, convinced it was a joke. 

“Wait,” he said when Mon-El did not break into a smile and join in his amusement.“You’re serious?”Mon-El nodded.He took a few steps back and gestured for Winn to follow him into the hallway, away from the prying ears of the other agents.

“How the hell are you going to do that?” Winn asked when they were out of any human earshot.

“Kara Zor-El.” Mon-El said.

“His missing relative?”

“That’s the one.She’s my ticket out of here.”Of course, he thought, the real Kara would be more important than a way out of the DEO.Still, there were many things he needed to do before he could find Kara, none of which he could do if he was stuck in this facility.

“And how do you suppose we find her?If Superman is looking for her, how on Earth are we going to get to her first?”

“We have an advantage,” he said, pointing to a pair of Kryptonian pods fixed to the floor opposite J’onn’s command center.One had been his own, the newer in the collection.He had still been locked inside when it was brought in.The other had arrived several years before his.It had been empty when the DEO discovered it.“We know she’s here somewhere.”

“In National City?”

“She has to be.Close by, at least.Besides.We don’t need to _find_ her.All we need to do is find someone who’s a lot _like_ her.”

“Preferably someone who can act?”Winn asked.

“Yes.Someone who can play the part.”

“And with your experience with Kryptonians — Oh, okay.Okay.It’s a idea.A pretty good one.”Mon-El could see the gears turning in Winn’s head.He thought it was pretty brilliant himself.They’d find a girl to play Kara.Prepare her with anything she’d need to know.And when Superman was nearby, he’d take the opportunity to ask for help.

“It could work.”Winn’s face fell for a moment, as he considered the alternatives.

“But it could be horrible.I could get fired.And you could get —”Winn was waving his hands all around trying to come up with some equal consequence.

“It’s not like they can fire me.”At least, not when he wasn’t actually an employee.

“They could lock you up.”

“Already a prisoner.”Winn hesitated, as if to argue, but he thought better of it.

“Solitary confinement?They could lock you in the holding cell again.”

“Worth it.”Mon-El hated that cell more than anything, but he could survive in there without going crazy.And if that was the worst case scenario, he didn’t have anything to lose.

“Are you sure about this?I mean, J’onn and Superman aren’t _exactly_ friends.”

“Which is why it’s so essential it be him.Winn, the only person to ever get J’onn to do what they want was Superman.He got J’onn to relinquish the DEO’s _entire_ Kryptonite supply.And what value do I have to the DEO compared the only thing that can stop Superman.If anyone can talk me out of this prison, it’ll be him.”

Winn sighed in defeat.“Fine.Find a way to Metropolis and out of the DEO, and I will help you.But I can not break you out.You know how much I love this job.”He did.

“Deal.”

He started the rumor, through whispers at the bar.Through all his outside contacts.Every alien circle he’d managed to work his way into.M’gann was even recruited into talking to her customers about Kara Zor-El, trying to glean any information they had to offer.

Because he didn’t need to find Kara.Not if she found him first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay lemme know how you're feeling, either here in the comments or on tumblr (karadanversprince).  
> And please share your feels, because every time I see a comment, I get an overwhelming urge to write another chapter and I get so happy.


	3. Find Your Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People always say "life is full of choices." No one ever mentions fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more of my love goes out to AvengingLegendHobo, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, chocaholic_78, and "Thisisme truly" for your lovely comments. 
> 
> We've met Mon-El and Winn... now it's about time we meet Kira -- she is at a bit of a crossroads.

Kira Danvers had had the dream again. The one where she was dancing in a long ball gown with a man who she was sure was not her father, though she could never see his face. A night of great celebration and grandeur. Hundreds of beautiful men and women, dressed for the occasion, passing compliments and bowing. She felt like a princess. And every night with the dream, she was gripped by a startling anxiety and woke with a start before the danger made itself known. 

She didn’t know how long she’d been having the dream.Probably years, but it was a fuzzy thing, a kind of haze.Sometimes she wondered if it wasn’t a dream, but there was never anything to indicate otherwise.Still, despite the way it felt before she woke, the dreams were a nice escape. 

She shook her head, rising from the bed. She had beaten her first alarm by twenty minutes, so she stretched, put her beloved emerald necklace - with which she never parted - back upon her neck, and prepared for another busy day. 

_The first day of the rest of her life_ , was the mantra she hummed to herself as she got ready.It would have been a busy day regardless.At CatCo, there was no such thing as a calm day.Cat Grant, a feminist icon if ever there was one, told the world she could do anything, no — _everything_.And so, she did. 

Every story was the next big story — the one that they needed to have out before anyone else.Every scandal was the biggest thing since Watergate.Every morning, journalists were bustling around the office, passing copies to editors, presenting layouts — always moving, always rushed.And today, she would be _one of them_.

Friday, in a shocking, but not unwelcome, turn of events, Cat Grant informed Kira that “you are going to have to make a career move”.Kira, had immediately thought she was being fired.After working her butt off as Ms. Grant’s assistant — and becoming a stellar one at that — all throughout college and graduating with a dual degree in Journalism and Public Relations, it seemed Ms. Grant thought Kira was finally ready. 

But Kira wasn’t just ready.She was eager, and enthusiastic, and dedicated.And maybe a _little_ unsure if she was ready, but Cat Grant hadn’t been wrong yet, about anything.So she rushed into the office bright and early Monday morning, prepared with coffees for herself and Ms Grant — for old time’s sake — ready for her first assignment.

But by the time she arrived, CatCo was already chaotic — _especially_ chaotic.Overnight it seemed, the Daily Planet had gotten an exclusive from Superman.There was another Kryptonian, Kara Zor-El, somewhere on Earth, and he was looking for her.And just like that, the world was grappling for answers, and Superman was nowhere to be found.Completely off the grid, taking a break from being a superhero to focus on the important things.Like family.

Kira sighed when she first read over the Daily Planet’s report, which was waiting for her on her old desk outside Cat’s office.She wished she could take off in search of her own family, but she had no idea where to start.Much like Superman, she supposed.Except she had no name, no memory, and no connections to work with. 

Kira marched into Ms. Grant’s office, coffee in hand, taking a deep breath to ready herself for what would undoubtedly be a hailstorm of instructions.

“Kira, oh good you’re here,” Cat said, barely looking up from the papers in front of her.When she caught sight of the coffee cup, she reached out.

“Thank God,” she muttered. “Eve doesn’t know how to get mine right yet.First thing I need you to do is to tell her what she needs to know to be able to be a suitable replacement for you.”Kira turned to get started.Cat stood up, looking at her.“Ah — I’m not done with you.”

Kira stood at attention, notebook in hand waiting for instructions.

“It’s your first day as a reporter, so I want you to make it _mean_ something.For almost five years now, I have been waiting and preparing for the moment you would be ready to start this new chapter, and as such, I expect nothing short of _brilliance_ for all my work.”Kira felt a small smile break through her own serious demeanor at the vote of confidence.

“I want your first assignment to be something heartfelt, powerful, and impactful.I want our readers to know who you _are_ — as a writer and a person.Make it,” Cat flicked her hand in disinterest “human interest, breaking news, I don’t particularly care.But move the readers.Move me.And make it mean something to _you_.We may be selling stories, Kira, but above that, we are selling pieces of ourselves in everything we write.And you, Miss Danvers, will be no exception.Now go.Find your story.”Cat dismissed her with a wave of the hand and Kira turned away, her smile breaking into a full force grin.Then a daunting sense of dread as she realized she had no idea what to write.

“Oh and Kira?” Cat shouted as she reached the doorframe.She turned to look at her boss, who had already returned her gaze to the pile of paper at her right.“See if you can’t find a contact of yours who can get us a one-on-one with the Man of Steel.We need an exclusive, like _yesterday_.” 

Kira felt the dread rising.Sure.A one-on-one interview with an already elusive hero who had announced he was essentially on sabbatical.How was she going to do that?

She set Eve up with her old desk and gave her a list she had compiled of Ms. Grant’s many peculiarities that Eve would need to attend to, then she excused herself to get down to business.

And that meant locking herself away in the room Cat had given her on Friday.On one side of her desk was a pile of different papers she had collected from around the office, all related to Superman’s disappearance, with Clark Kent’s exclusive sitting on top of the stack.And on the right side, she had her notebook, with a list of possible articles for her first story.She’d already crossed off a few substandard ideas, ones she’d never admit to having even imagined.She’d added four or five suggestions underneath those, but none of them felt _brilliant_.She’d written Superman down toward the bottom of the list, but she scratched it out, and she could barely read the words beneath the thick and aggressive scribbling she’d used to cover it. _That_ was _not_ her story.

But the more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself it was.Sure, she was no Superman.But maybe they were both looking for the same thing.And that meant, deep down, she and Superman had something incredibly important in common.A drive.A purpose.A mission.And after everything they’d been through, everything they’d lost, they were still looking.That kind of hope, in moments of hopelessness — that was what the world needed now. 

That was it, she decided.Her story.She could see it already. _Superman and I_.All she had to do was get a hold of the Man of Steel.And she needed to do that anyway, so why not write her own exclusive?

She grabbed her notebook and her bag and headed to the elevator.She had a story to write and a hero to find.It was going to take a lot of digging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [jsyk, Kira recently turned 23, and is pretty fresh out of college, but she's been working/interning with CatCo since she started school]
> 
>  
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr (karadanversprince) or in the comments and tell me what you think.  
> I'll love you to Krypton and back!


	4. Following the Lead-er

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Far away...long ago. Growing dim as an ember. Things my heart used to know -- things it yearns to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To AvengingLegendHobo, chocoholic_78, thoroughlytrash, and "Airy" -- I love you to Krypton and back for all the lovely feedback.

There were a few places that Kira knew were particularly big hotspots amongst aliens in National City.Places humans rarely went.She started there.And it seemed that either no one wanted to talk, or Superman was equally as distant from the alien community as he was from humans.Which was only making it harder for her to get information.She thought it might be the latter.No one she spoke to in the first 3 hang outs seemed standoffish or sketchy.Some of them genuinely didn’t seem to know who he even was. 

When she reached the fourth hotspot, however, she found herself talking to a blonde alien who didn’t know Superman, but knew someone who might. 

“You’ll want to talk to Mike Matthews, down at the dive bar.But you didn’t hear it from me.”The woman whispered it as she left the table and Kira jotted furiously in her notebook.Off the record.That was fine.It wasn’t like Kira would know who to say sent her anyway.

And that was how Kira found herself outside the alien bar, taking deep breaths to prepare herself for whatever came next.She righted her clothes and stepped forward, just as the door opened into the alleyway.Two guys walked out, the shorter one in a shirt and tie, and the taller one dressed in all black, what looked like a uniform, perhaps for the bartenders.They were whispering in hushed and serious tones until the taller one bumped into her shoulder, then turned back to make sure she was okay.And she was, even though she did stumble back a couple steps at the impact.He glanced at her for a long moment, curiosity in his eyes, then without a word he turned back to his friend and walked away.

As she reached the door, another two men in identical uniforms passed through the door and hurried to fall in line a few paces behind the other two.She shook herself off and focused back on what was ahead of her.She needed to find Mike Matthews.Now that she had even a small lead, the whole task of finding Superman felt less impossible.

She stepped inside to find the place crowded as anyone might expect a dive bar to be on an evening.She had planned her trip accordingly, to make sure she had the best chance of catching him.Still, she stood confused, out of place, clearly looking like she didn’t belong.She summoned her courage and set to work, bouncing from group to group, introducing herself and asking anyone if they’d seen a Mike Matthews today.She’d made her way through almost every alien in the bar, and the most progress she’d made was a few grunts and shoo-ing gestures from one particularly rude alien. 

Feeling ready to give up, Kira walked over to the bar and sat down.She rested her head in her hands and went over the notes she’d made so far when she heard a voice.

“Can I get you anything?”Kira looked up to see a woman in front of her, towel in hand, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Oh, umm.Just a club soda, please.” 

The woman nodded, reaching for a glass.As she prepared the drink and Kira reached for her wallet, the woman spoke up again.“Anything else you need?” She asked.

“No, the club soda should be fine —”Kira hesitated.“Actually, do you happen to know a Mike Matthews?I’ve been looking for him and someone said he comes here often.”The woman passed her a drink.

“Oh, do I.You just missed him.”Kira’s face fell.

“He’s a regular around here.Keeps to himself, usually.Not sure when he’ll be back though.Hey, is this about that — _Kara Zor-El_ person?”

“Actually it is, a little, I suppose.”Kira perked up.“Do you know where I can find him?”

“Alright, well, I suppose it can’t hurt.You can find him at the DEO.It’s a little hard to find, but I can give you directions.When you find him, tell him M’gann sent you.”

Once Kira paid for and finished her drink, M’gann dictated some directions to her, which Kira wrote down carefully.Then she was out the door, and on her way, feeling hopeful.

***

Whatever the DEO was, it seemed to be the epitome of hidden in plain sight.It was nestled into one of the many identical high-rises in National City, disguised from the outside as an accounting firm.She made her way inside, ready to start hunting for this Mike Matthews guy, when a blonde woman in all black began fussing over her and asking her a number of confusing questions.Kira gave the woman her name and announced she was from CatCo Magazine, and she was looking around when she noticed a familiar head of hair walking past her.

“Alex?” Kira shouted out at the woman passing by.The woman turned, and sure enough, it was her adoptive sister.

“Kira,”Alex shouted back, jogging over. 

“Dana, I’ve got this.She’s with me.”Alex directed her words at the blonde, who stood in shock, opening and closing her mouth and looking between the two sisters.

“But Alex, she’s not cleared.We have to stick with protocol.”

“Dana, I will talk to J’onn.It’s okay.Just go and I’ll handle it,” Alex said.Kira watched the exchange in confusion, until her sister turned back to her and gestured she follow her down the main staircase.

“So Kira, what exactly are you doing here?” Alex spoke over her shoulder.

“Do you work here?I thought you worked — how did I not know —”

“Yes, well I didn’t exactly tell anyone specifically where I was working.But that isn’t why you’re here, right?”

“No.I’m looking for somebody.I think he might work here, too.”Alex wandered to her station and quickly pulled up a screen of data Kara couldn’t begin to try to understand.

“Who?”

“Mike Matthews.Do you know where he is?”

Alex typed the name into a computer, huffed in annoyance and turned back.

“I don’t know the name, and the system isn’t showing anything, but I can check with my boss.You said Mike _Matthews_?”

The guy sitting next to Alex’s station froze, then pushed his chair back and scattered away.Kira watched him in confusion and let it slip her mind.

“Yeah.Thats the one.”

“Alright, just stay here and I’ll check with J’onn.He’ll know where to find him.” 

Alex rushed off, and Kira was left to her own devices.She looked around at the distracting monitors and flashing lights where Alex had just been working, and stepped away, finding it too busy for her gaze.Instead, she circled around the area, away from everyone working.She was doing well, keeping to herself and resisting every urge to find out exactly what they did here — the reporter in her kept saying it could be a huge story.Hidden government agencies usually had a certain entertainment appeal.The people would want to know.But this was not the time, the place, or the story for that. 

On her third lap around the open space, a mass of metal tucked into a corner caught her attention.As she drew closer, she noticed there were two masses, like miniature rocket ships, resting side by side.Each silver ship was about twice her height in length, including the decorative tail that looked like a interweaving design had been carefully etched out of it.Towards the nose, she noticed a set of glass panels, darkened like a police car’s windows. 

She drew closer to the nearest one.It was so beautiful — the detail, the clean lines, the strange markings lining one edge.She ran her fingers from its nose, along the seam, until she reached a small control panel.She took a deep breath as it hit her.Was this — a space ship?No.Two space ships.What government agency kept two space ships out in the open like this?

She slid her hand across the panel, the metal cool and smooth.Her fingers ran over a sensor, and she swore she saw a small flash of light and heard the lightest beep as she did.Then it was gone, and she convinced herself she had imagined it.

She continued her motions, admiring the wing and then the tail, the metal arranged like sinews binding together.She had her hand on the wing, balancing herself she she looked closer at the design.

“Hey!Don’t touch that!”Came a shout from behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, share your feels with me!!   
> Catch me on tumblr: karadanversprince


	5. The Pseudo-Kryptonian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We'll find the girl to play the part, and teach her what to say...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To thoroughlytrash, emilaysjonas, AvengingLegendHobo, Airy/Karmello, chocaholic_78, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, and Evemae2004: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. All your comments, feedback, and speculation mean so much to me. I love getting to share this with you and I get so excited to see what you have to say. Your support is surreal.

Word got out fast.It was a good thing to know that the aliens of National City were a gossipy but exclusive club.At least, so it seemed.The newspapers hadn’t gotten wind of the scheme — a problem Mon-El had not considered until they went out to conduct interviews with potential Karas and Winn reminded him how poorly thought out his plan actually was.More importantly, J’onn was seemingly unaware, and actually granted Mon-El’s request for an extended afternoon leave with Winn for Monday. 

When Mon-El and Winn reached the bar, M’gann had saved them a table.And contrary to either of their expectations, there were a number of women sitting around waiting to talk to Mike Matthews.It was the name Mon-El assumed when he was roaming outside the DEO, and it was the name M’gann had been passing around to the regulars. 

It seemed, perhaps, that the rumor spreading through National City was more popular gossip than anyone anticipated — at least if these women were to be any indication. 

They set themselves up and started a queue, speaking to the women one at a time.It was half to do with getting to see how they presented themselves, like casting for a movie.The other half was finding out what brought them there and why. 

Most of them were looking for a way out of National City.Which was fair.Most aliens in National City weren’t fully humanoid, and those who were had to use a great deal of their power concealing anything deviant.Getting a job to pay for a way out was next to impossible without proper documentation, and that was hard enough for human immigrants, let alone for one from outer space.Plus, Metropolis had Superman.It was already safer than National City, which laid dormant with next to no protection, except that which was provided covertly by the DEO.And even they didn’t deal with human-created trouble like gangs and burglaries.Mon-El could see the appeal in wanting to leave.

A few of the human women were looking to meet Superman, even at the cost of making a public embarrassment of themselves or risking the anger of their superhero crush.A couple were there for what little fame being labelled an impersonator could provide.Not that they had much to go on.Still, it irked him to see women play a Kryptonian and overshoot it.Kryptonians were dramatic and emphatic enough without the overacting and the embellishments.And the more he saw of those women, the less convinced he was that he would ever find a suitable pseudo-Kryptonian at all.

They had met with every woman M’gann had sent their way, and they’d come no closer to finding someone adequate.And although M’gann promised that more women were waiting to meet with them tomorrow, Mon-El felt less than optimistic.He waited as Winn gathered his things.The DEO agents in the back of the room had grown antsy, and surely they were at least a little suspicious, wondering if he was up to something.It was time they headed out anyway.

“Winn, are we going about this wrong?” Mon-El whispered to his friend as they headed towards the door.He gave M’Gann a brief wave as he passed by.He’d thank her later for her hard work.And her friendship.He’d been relying on it more heavily as of late.

“Mon-El, you’ve been dismissing them before they have a chance to prove themselves.”

“They aren’t right.”Mon-El knew he’d been a little quick to reject the women, but he knew what he was looking for.He’d take nothing less.He couldn’t.

“It’s not like you ever _knew_ Kara.What difference does it make?”Mon-El gritted his teeth.This would have been so much easier if he had just explained to Winn why he was actually on Earth.But he was two years deep in the lie, and he couldn’t risk J’onn or anyone else for that matter finding out.Not when he wasn’t sure she was safe.Not when he wasn’t certain that the DEO wouldn’t just lock her up, too.

“I can’t just take anyone and turn them into a Kryptonian.None of them have what it takes.”

“Are you sure about that?”Winn asked, a mixture of disappointment and frustration in his tone.

“Just trust me.When we find the right one, I’ll know.” 

With that statement, Mon-El pushed open the bar door and walked into a girl on her way in.Her hair was pulled tightly back into a ponytail, glasses fixed prominently on her nose.She was as beautiful as she was annoyed with him.She stumbled back a couple steps, and he took the time to notice how she held herself together when she regained her balance.Dignified.Strong.Resolute.Now _that_ was a girl who had what it takes. 

She glared at him, and the thought slipped his mind. Her gaze promised fury.She only softened when he asked if she was okay.Then Winn was whispering to him, and he turned back to his friend, the guards following shortly behind.

***

Getting through the paperwork for this outing was much easier, considering how he had better, more friendly agents today.Agents who knew what details mattered and actually valued their own time.Which they didn’t want to waste in the clearing room.Winn, thankfully was exempt from the debriefing.Mon-El didn’t want to make Winn even more compliant in his scheme than he needed to be. 

When he was released, Mon-El felt restless.He hated letting his thoughts catch up with him.He didn’t like lingering with his mind the only thing to occupy him.So he headed down the hall to a training room, and started working his frustrations out with sheer force.

He was keeping to himself, working at a punching bag when his mind ran back to the passing thought that maybe they wouldn’t be able to find a girl to play Kara and that the whole plan was destined to fail.That was when he considered the alternatives.Of course, there was always the option of running away to find Superman himself.The DEO would catch him eventually, but there was always a chance he’d find Kal-El with enough time to convince the man to help him.Of course, there was always the issue of having to explain who he was, why he was here, and why _exactly_ he’d become a prisoner of the DEO.And then again, he could only hope Kal-El knew nothing of Daxamites.Which was unlikely, considering exactly how much information he’d managed to pry out of the data systems of his own pod.Kal-El was smart, and he’d probably learned everything about Daxam and who he was.And, of course, Kal wouldn’t know about any of the work he’d done to try and atone for it. 

He threw another punch, almost knocking the bag out from its reinforced tethers.It wouldn’t be the first time this week if it broke today.

Perhaps, he could still use Winn’s friend and offer himself to help find her.Two sets of eyes were better than one, especially when both were super powered. _Another punch_.If he did that, Kal-El would have to help him get out, and he could fulfill his promise to Alura without any deceit.That would be the honorable thing to do.The right thing. _He threw an upper cut._ It’s what a Kryptonian would do. _Left hook._ Perhaps Kal-El would respond well to that.

With one more punch, the bag broke free, simultaneously falling to the floor and skidding to the other side of the room.Mon-El cringed at the sound and looked up to the ceiling, watching as clumps of concrete and dust fell to the ground.J’onn was going to be angry.Again.

There was a sound of footsteps rushing to the room and Mon-El whipped around, raising his hands in the air in both surrender and attempted deflection.

“Mon-El!” Winn shouted, knocking the door to the training room wide open. He stopped to glance around, noticing the bag on the floor and the mess around Mon-El’s feet.“Seriously, man?If you’re going to keep punching all your frustration out, we need to get you some better equipment.” 

Mon-El shrugged.“You got here fast.” 

Winn looked at him confused, then shook his head.“No, I’m not here about the bag.There’s a girl here, looking for _Mike Matthews_.”Winn stared at him waiting for a response.

For a moment, Mon-El panicked.Then he got up and rushed out the door, pushing past Winn and turning into the lobby before J’onn could intercept her.Because if he did, Mon-El was a dead man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a few days off. Thankfully you are all lovely and patient people and I appreciate that.  
> You can be expecting WAY more frequent posts, as I'll be updating this or another one of my stories every day until Supergirl is back. Which means I'm going to be getting my butt in gear writing the rest of this one. 
> 
> As always, feedback is my lifeblood for writing, so any thoughts are welcome. And you can find me on tumblr at karadanversprince if you wanna talk, be friends, or even if you have a prompt... because I do those now. 
> 
> All my love, to Krypton and back.


	6. Who's To Say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who else could pull it off but you and me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the best readers in the world (Sunflower_Nation, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, thoroughlytrash, chocaholic_78, Karamello, AvengingLegendHobo, airhead536, and emilaysjonas) I decided to make this today's hiatus post because you are all the best. You had me laughing and smiling all day. Sorry for the double cliffhanger, but I hope this chapter makes up for it.
> 
> Previously on Until I Find You:  
> “She continued her motions, admiring the wing and then the tail, the metal arranged like sinews binding together. She had her hand on the wing, balancing herself as she looked closer at the design.  
> ‘Hey! Don’t touch that!’ Came a shout from behind her.”

Kira whipped around, nearly tripping as she moved as far from the pods as she could and faced whoever had discovered her.She righted herself and raised her hands, looking up bashfully at the man who scolded her.

And sure as hell — she should have thought of it before, considering how almost every person in this building was in an all black uniform.Her sister, Dana, and now — she stared, shocked, at the guy who ran into her at the bar.

He was looking at her carefully, trying to remember where he’d seen her before.And it wasn’t just the bar, he knew.He’d seen her as she left.He couldn’t forget her that quickly.It was something else.Somewhere else perhaps. 

It wasn’t even her face that made him recognize her.No, rather, it was the way she recovered from a graceless moment.The unfettered confidence behind a woman who wasn’t quite as sure of herself as her stance suggested.But her face — it haunted him.Something about it.Perhaps it was her glasses confusing him.Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. 

“Hold on a minute.Hold on,” he stammered, lost for words.“Who let — How did you get in here?” 

“Good reporting skills and knowing the right people, I suppose.”She was proud of that response.Sure, most of this meeting had been pure happenstance, strokes of good luck, but behind that, she was actively working and that meant she could take some credit at least.

“Are you Mike Matthews?” she asked.He blinked quickly, breaking out of his daze, then turned on whatever charm he could manage.He sauntered closer to her as she scrutinized him.

“Maybe. It depends on who is looking for him?”She rolled her eyes.

“I’m Kira.I write for CatCo and I’m trying to get a hold of Superman.They say you’re the man to see, although I can’t say who _they_ is exactly.Except M-Mig—Megan?She said I could find you here.”

“Her name is M’gann.” He said carefully, taking a step towards her, to start getting a better look at her.How M’gann had found this girl, he wasn’t sure, but it was yet another thing he’d have to thank her for.“I’m Mike,” he said, extending his hand.When she didn’t take it immediately, he clasped his hands together and starting walking around her.“My work is — well, it’s classified, but let’s just say I’m a super secret agent of the DEO.”He could hear Winn behind him, letting out a snort. 

“Why are you circling me?Were you a vulture in another life?” _Vultures?_ He almost asked about whatever that was, but he hesitated.Not a normal thing to be asking, he supposed.He would save it for Winn.

“It’s just that you look an awful lot like — never mind.”He raised his hands up and stepped away, keeping his eyes fixed on hers.“Okay, Kira…is there a last name that goes with that?”

“Danvers.”His eyebrows shot up.She had mentioned knowing people here, but he had thought she had just lied about that.If she really did, that was a whole other ball game.

“Danvers, like— Do you know Alex?”

“Yeah she’s my sister.Well, not biological.Her parents found me when I was sixteen.I don’t actually _know_ my family.Kind of an orphan, I guess.”She was rambling, but he was caught up still in the way she was holding herself. 

“That’s perfect.”He meant it more about how she presented herself in this interview.With every utterance, every shift of balance, every scowl, she played the part beautifully.And she couldn’t have been aware — not really.

But her scowl was real, and he realized he had zoned out and commented insensitively.He coughed.“I mean that we — my friend Winn, here—” he said turning around and pointing to Winn, who was eyeing them carefully, “and I are going to Metropolis ourselves — to reunite Superman with Kara Zor-El.”

“Well that’s actually really convenient, because I was hoping to get an interview and talk to him, you know, about Kara and everything—”She trailed off as Mon-El gestured for Winn to come over.His attention had already strayed from her explanation.

“I suppose you do look a little Kryptonian.Maybe if…Can you just — angle your face a little —” He reached out and used a hooked index finger to lift her chin.“And stand up straight — Good now, look at me.Perfect.”He turned away for a moment and tugged Winn closer.“Now, Winn, does she _not_ look like a holier-than-thou Kryptonian or what?”

Winn rolled his eyes.“I’m not the expert here, Mon—Mike.”

“A holier-than— Excuse me!”Kira crossed her arms, and Mon-El smirked. _Yep.She’d make a convincing actress._

“Mmm, excused,” he hummed distractedly, still circling around her. 

“Could you — knock it off.I’m not Kara.”She swatted at him until he stopped.

“Sorry,” he said, raising his hands and stepping away. 

“I am here because I want to get an interview with Superman and I was told you were the man to talk to.”He could tell he was irritated with him.And perhaps he had misread her intentions, because even though she was the right girl for the job, she seemed not to be interested.Still, maybe she could be persuaded?

“Well, you came to the right guy, but Superman will only see his cousin.”

“What?”He didn’t know what she was confused about.The news everywhere told the same thing — Superman would speak to anyone else.Surely a reporter would be aware of that.Still, he explained it anyway.Just in case.

“Yeah, he is off the radar and he’s only coming back if it means he can find his cousin.See he’s looking for her.” 

Kira looked at him with confusion still. “But, I though she was his sister.”

Mon-El laughed.

“Alright Miss Reporter, where are your sources?”

“I— I just heard —” she furrowed her brow, leaving a small crinkle as she tried to maintain her carefully constructed professional attitude. 

“Exactly.You heard it from somebody, who heard it from somebody who said ‘Hey, what if he’s looking for his sister?’”

“Then how do you know she’s his cousin and not his mother or his girlfriend or something?”He bit back his first response.Because admitting to knowing who she was would both age him, and — with her background — would end in her interviewing him for a scoop, and she’d figure out he wasn’t human — she seemed smart enough to do that.And then J’onn might actually kill him. 

“I am very familiar with his family.His entire race, in fact.”

“Yeah?”Kira crossed her arms, notepads dangling from one hand as she eyed him with suspicion.

“I’d tell you to test me, but it’d be no use.You wouldn’t know the right answers.Besides, I can’t go telling everyone every little thing I know about Superman.The press would have a field day and then anyone could get their hands on him.”

“Okay, well how do _I_ get a hold of him?”

“See that’s the problem — I’d love to help out, but unless you’re Kara, I can’t.”

“And if I _am_ Kara?”She was somehow fiercer.Even more resilient.Unconvinced and not here to play this game. Still, Mon-El wasn’t just about to give in.Not when finding Kara was on the line.

“You know, perhaps it’s too much of a stretch,” Winn commented.Although he wasn’t a great negotiator, Winn was more clever than anyone ever gave him credit.But only when he needed to be.And not nearly as good as Mon-El.

“But — you do have her eyes.”Mon-El added, embellishing the statement with a wistful glance, as if he was giving up on her.

“Yes, Superman has those same eyes.”Mon-El held back a grin.He knew he’d chosen right when he decided to get Winn on his team. 

“Besides, you generally look a lot like him.”He said, once more to really sell it.

“Superman?” she asked.

“Yeah.I mean, you could easily be related.”

“Or maybe I just have blue eyes.They aren’t exactly uncommon.”Mon-El rolled his eyes.Convincing her to play Kara was becoming more difficult than he anticipated.It felt like giving up, but perhaps if he explained something — showed her it _had_ to be her —

“Listen, you fit in the age bracket. You look the type.I’ve seen women all over this city and you’re the first who could pull it off.And who’s to say you _aren’t_ her?”

“Aliens walk among us,”Winn added, helpfully.Mon-El nodded.

“I mean I always hoped I’d find my family, but who’s to say I _am_ her?” Kira asked, softening for a moment.Almost as if she was seriously considering it.Which she was.Just a little.

“Why give that hope up?After all, the symbol on his chest — it means hope.And it’s the symbol of the house of El.”

Kira pondered the thought, then she scoffed.“This is ridiculous.”

“Fine, then.I think we’re done here.” Mon-El turned away, shooting an apologetic glance at her before pulling Winn along with him. He walked around the corner, leading them down the hallway, back to the training room.

“Now what?Is she not the one?” Winn asked.“Because I think your standards are too high, my friend.”

“Oh, she’s the one.”Mon-El said, his expression unreadable.He was nervous, and trying desperately not to show it.

“Then why are we walking _away_?” Winn whispered, his pitch rising.

“Just trust me.Five more seconds then I’ll let you run after her, okay?Five.Four.Thre—”

“Mike, wait —”Kira said, turning the corner.Mon-El beamed.She prepared herself with a deep and slow breath.“You’re right — Who’s to say I’m _not_ Kara?I have _no_ idea who my family is.And if I’m not her, Superman will be able to tell after meeting me and it’s just an honest mistake.” 

“Either way, you get your story.”She nodded, considering that thought for the first time. 

“Fine.Let’s do this,” she said, extending her hand.“How soon can we leave for Metropolis?”He gave her his most charming smile and gripped her hand as gently as he could control.

“See, Miss Danvers, now that’s where you can help me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join my superhiatus squad on tumblr (karadanversprince) and come talk to me, get updates, suggest prompts, or help motivate me to get through the next chapter? Be my friend so we can fangirl together. And so I can write you some fun stuff.  
> And please let me know how you feel about their first meeting or anything else you're feeling. kthankyoubyeeee


	7. A Man With A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We were strangers, starting out on a journey...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you times a billion to PwettyPwita, emilaysjonas, Sunflower_Nation, Hamsterman, jeymien, chocaholic_78, Karamello, thoroughlytrash, AvengingLegendHobo, and full_kay for the AMAZING comments <3 I love getting to talk to y'all about everything and hear your theories.

They decided it would be best to meet on Wednesday at the bar to discuss everything.Especially since he would be out of range of any DEO agents who could easily sabotage his entire plan.

Kira waited twenty minutes before Mike showed up, trailed by two fellow agents who lingered across the room while he sat down and ordered a drink.

“What are those two here for?” Kira asked quietly.

“Your protection,” he said with a straight face as he took his first sip of beer.“Wouldn’t want any hostile aliens trying to attack the Last Daughter of Krypton, now would we?” She didn’t look satisfied with his response, but she didn’t press any further — a mercy he was grateful for.

She let him drink in silence for a while as she jotted down a list of anything she could anticipate being a part of the plan.Because they _needed_ a plan.And if he had one, she wanted to be on the same page.

She started with the most burning question first.

“So why do you need _me_ to get you clearance to travel?Can’t you just ask your boss?”He had explained the first time they met that he needed her to get Alex to help get him time off, but she still didn’t understand what exactly she had to do with it.

“I’m on — uh, active duty for the agency.I’m working all day everyday.I live there, too.So, vacations are next to never.But if Alex talks to my boss, I get to skip a whole lot of bureaucracy, and I have a better chance of getting a break.”

“And if your boss says no?” she asked, taking a final sip of the club soda she’d gotten while she waited.

“Well then, you’re out of luck.”But then he smiled.“I’m not worried though, Kira.I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

She seemed happy with that answer. “Fine, I can talk to my sister and see what I can do.But we need a plan.How exactly are we going to get Superman to talk to us?And how are we going to get there?Are we going to fly?”

“I can’t fly,” he responded with a quick snap.The words were out before he realized he’d even let the thought occur, before he could censor himself.“I mean —”

“Oh, if you’ve got a phobia, that’s totally fine.I just figure it was the fastest way, that’s all.”She spoke rapidly, trying to backpedal from what she surely must have thought was an insensitive comment.It was almost charming.He breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’ve got that handled.We will take Maxwell Lord’s Super Rail to get there as quick as humanly possible.Winn is charge of getting tickets.And when we get there, Winn and I will introduce you.”

“That easy?” she asked.

“I never said it’s going to be easy.There is a way and we are going to take it.It might take a few days hanging around Metropolis before were can meet with Superman, but we may need that time to prepare.Really, that’s a blessing in disguise.”

“So what do you need me to do?”

“I asked Alex to meet us here.Just explain to her why you need to go to Metropolis, and it shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“Okay, while we wait I’m getting a drink.You want anything?” she asked.

“Tell M’gann I need something strong.”

Kira made a funny face, then turned away.

And just as she left, Mon-El noticed the elder Danvers sister walking through the door with an NCPD officer.When they made eye contact, Alex Danvers nodded at him and left the woman at the bar to walk over.While Kira ordered the round, Alex slipped into the booth, sitting across from Mon-El.

“So you are the elusive Mike Matthews my sister was having me track down?”Alex asked, an one eyebrow raised. 

“I use the name outside of the DEO.It makes it easier.”

Alex nodded, a hint of compassion in her expression.“But does she know —”

“My real name, no.That I’m an alien, also no.She’s writing an article, Alex, and if my name or race gets out — I just don’t want to have to deal with that.It isn't like it will hurt her not to know.”

“If she’s traveling across the country with you, it’s kind of important.Besides.It sounded like she’s doing _you_ a favor.The least you could do is trust her enough to call you by your name.” 

“Okay, I will tell her.Just _please_ let me choose when I do?”

“I swear, if you upset her — If you so much as touch her or make her cry, I’ll—”

“I get the picture, Alex.No need to worry yourself.”

“I mean it.”Her tone was somewhere between that of a scolding mother and J’onn’s commanding.And equally as intimidating.

“I know you do.”He stared into his now empty glass, willing Kira to return so he could avoid this line of questioning.

“Now what exactly is it I’m here for?”

“No.Kira, no!” Mon-El shouted as he looked over to see Kira carrying a glass of club soda and another glass filled with a golden liquid, which she had drawn up to her face to smell.Mon-El rushed over and pulled it from her grasp.

“You can’t drink that.”

“I wasn’t. I was just—What the hell even is that?”

“Aldebaran rum.It’s…an acquired taste.Just don’t drink it.”

“Okay, I won’t.Promise.”Kira held her empty hand in surrender.She turned back to the booth, noticing her sister.

“Alex!You’re here.”

Mon-El drank half of his rum in one gulp before realizing his mistake.Better to savor, he reminded himself.It made the buzz last longer.

“So, Mike said you’re working on an article?And that you needed some help?” Alex asked, getting up from the booth so Kira could slide in.

“Mike is my contact for the article, and he’s setting me up with an interview.”Kira looked around and lowered her voice.“With Superman.But I need him to go with me to Metropolis.”

“Which is where I come in?”Alex said it less as a question and more as an exasperated statement. 

“You can convince your boss to give Mike a couple days of vacation, which means I get my story.And Alex, I really need this story.Ms Grant wants something phenomenal and this could be it.This is the culmination of all the work I’ve put into CatCo.Please.”

“What’s in it for Mike?” Alex asked.Mon-El squinted at her.

“Much needed time off.”Kira replied.

“Plus, I thought while I’m there it couldn’t hurt to help our Kryptonian friend with his current quest.Earn us all a few points in his book, right?”Mon-El took another big gulp of his rum. 

“I can’t really blame you there.”

“So you’ll do it?”Kira asked, a bright hopefulness spread across her face.

“I’ll talk to J’onn tomorrow.”

“She’ll do it!” Kira said enthusiastically at Mon-El, who was processing everything.“Oh Alex, you are the best.”She leaned over to her sister and rested her head on Alex’s shoulder.After a beat, Kira pulled her head back up and let Alex stand.

“Alright, well if that’s everything, I’m going to say hi to the boys and get back to Maggie.Kira, I’ll see you Friday?”

“You’re getting the wine this time.I’ll get the potstickers.”

“Deal.Mike, I’ll see you tomorrow.”Alex replied, offering a knowing glance at Mon-El.He nodded, relieved, and raised his hand in an attempt at a goodbye. 

When Alex was out of earshot, Kira returned to questioning the itinerary of the trip, and any information that would help her pack.Mon-El worked through her questions as best he could and left the rest of her and Alex’s discretion.They spent the next hour burning through two more rounds - with Kira eventually getting herself a cocktail - and talking.At first, it was all about the trip.Then they got on the topic of Kira’s family, which evolved into her telling her life story.At least, the parts she remembered.

Had the two not been so wrapped up on their conversation, either one of them might have noticed as the news coverage on every tv in the bar changed to breaking news of an attack on Lord Technologies.Mon-El might have run out of there to try to stop it.Kira would have inevitably gone digging into what exactly was targeted.It might have changed their paths to Metropolis.And a change like that could have kept them out of danger.But instead, they paid only attention to the person across them, each fully aware that the other was exactly what they needed to get to the next stage in their plans.

***

Mon-El tried to excuse himself when he noticed his agents paying closer attention to them.Having Alex visit kept them patient for longer than usual, but every agent had their limits, and they were growing impatient and curious, so Mon-El stood to leave.

“Wait.I’ll go with you,” Kira said, getting up quickly.“You’re on my way.Besides, maybe you could teach me something while we walk?”

“Sure.”He couldn’t come up with a convincing argument against it.

“So what do I need to know first.”

“What do you want to know?Politics?Geography? Lineage?We should probably save language for later, if we have time.Superman wasn’t of speaking age when he and Kara escaped anyway.But there’s always social customs.You’ll need to know those.”

“How about geography?”

He was grateful for her selection.It would take the least amount of time and it didn’t matter too much if she was paying attention or not. 

As they walked, he described the surface of Krypton as best he could remember.He hadn’t spent much time on the planet, but his memories were still so vivid from his time in the pod.Kira listened carefully the whole time as he tried his best to describe it in comparison to what he’d seen of Earth.Not that he had seen much of it in real life. 

But there were always pictures, he thought as they reached the entrance to the DEO.He walked down the stairs with her, promising to meet the agents once Kira left.And that was when he realized he had pictures of Krypton. too.Ones he and Winn had managed to pull from the pods’ data logs.

“I don’t think I’m doing the planet justice, honestly.You know, I could just — I could just show you.I’ve got some holo-projections of Krypton if you want to see them,” he offered.

“Mm-yeah.” Kira said, her attention caught elsewhere.

“I’m sorry Kira, you look distracted.Are you alright?” 

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just — Can I ask you a question about this place.I mean, as long as it isn’t classified?”

“Go ahead.”He smiled.

“What exactly are those ships?” Kira asked, pointing to the spot when they’d first discussed their plans.His face fell.The pods.Rao, how he wished J’onn would agree to put the damn things in storage.

“They are Kryptonian escape pods.Like the one Superman arrived on Earth with.”He stood, arms crossed as she moved closer to them.

“So there are more Kryptonians on Earth?” Kira spoke with an unreserved excitement.

“Well, yes, one.Kara Zor-El.”

“Then is one of these Superman’s pod?”

He crinkled, wishing he didn’t feel the need to say yes.After two years, he’d grown to hate being an alien.Yes, he loved his planet.And most of the time he enjoyed this one.But if being Mike Matthews taught him anything, it was that it was a blessing to be able to pretend he wasn’t a Daxamite.To just be human for a day.His pod was a reminder that he wasn’t, and he had to see the damned thing everyday.And at the same time, it was a reminder that he had a reason to be here, fighting and searching.

He wished he felt safe enough to say it was his pod.But he hardly knew this girl.And she didn’t even know Mon-El.She knew Mike, maybe a little, but not Mon-El.So he skirted the question as best he could without being deceitful.

“That’s the logical assumption.”Very diplomatic, he thought. 

“I don’t believe in assumptions.I mean why would both be here if Superman is in Metropolis? Wouldn’t he keep his pod?Just think about it — there could be three Kryptonians on Earth.How incredible would that be?”

“We are rather certain there are only two.”

“Well it doesn’t hurt to hope, right?I mean if no one’s found Kara yet, whose to say another survivor isn’t waiting in the wings for the right time to reveal themselves?”

“That’s a great point,” he muttered.He wished she was right.That Kara wasn’t so alone.That maybe someone more suited to protecting her could show up and help keep the world spinning like Superman did everyday.But no one else would come.

“So, I should get back —”Kira’s words brought him out of his daze.

“Yeah I’ve got — stuff.”Mon-El clasped his hands together.

“When you get cleared —” Kira began to ask.

“I’ll make sure you know.”

Kira stepped back, flustered.“See you around, Mike.”

Mon-El pressed his lips together and waved as she turned away.Then he hustled back to the briefing room and prepared a thorough apology to everyone still waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy hiatus! We're like 1/7th of the way through. WE CAN DO THIS.
> 
> Next time, our space puppies are finally gonna get started on this journey.


	8. The Last Of The House Of El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now my dark purpose will be fulfilled, and the last of the House of El will die...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I forgot to mention this chapter. I just forgot I even wrote it honestly. The adventure starts next chapter.. I PROMISE!
> 
> Love goes out to Sunflower_Nation, AvengingLegendHobo, Karamello, and chocoholic_78 for last chapter's comments ILYSM.

Non had been combing the universe for any sign of the missing pods.He knew two of the children had escaped.His sister-in-law had not been able to hide that from him.Still, no matter how he hurt her, she never revealed their final destination.She was much like Astra that way.Steadfast and loyal.A great quality in a partner, but never in an enemy. 

He had kept Alura alive far too long, anticipating a slip of the tongue, or the final crack under pressure.But when Krypton’s death was moments away, he realized she would not yield.He let her burn with the planet she and her husband had condemned to death.It was only just.And it was a glorious death to witness. 

Still, he had gotten no relief in his search.Three decades in his ship, much of which he spent trapped in the timelessness of the phantom zone, and there had been no trace left. The ion trails were gone by the time he had begun his search.And the fall of Krypton had distorted what remained, scattering it into the Well of Stars.

Still, with a Kryptonian warship, he had the advantage of both speed and undetectability.A luxury which came of great use as he found himself somewhere in the Milky Way.He had been in the control room of his ship when he heard the alert.The systems, though outdated and beyond his tampering, had picked up a signal.A distress signal from a Kryptonian pod.He grinned madly. 

What kind of uncle would he be if he didn’t swing by and relieve the children of the House of El of whatever distressed them.Or better yet, if he relieved the universe of their very existence.

He set to work tracing the signal.It had been brief and solitary.Unintentional then, he considered.They must have been careful to elude him thus far.Such a shame that one moment of indiscretion could destroy all their attempts.A star map appeared on the screen, and in the middle of it, a red dot on a small blue planet.A great mercy of Rao, that he was already within the star system.The signal must have been fresh.

_Earth,_ he realized. _Why had he not thought of it sooner?_

The planet was heavily inhabited, full of resources, and its people were in the early stages of interplanetary exploration and communication.An advanced enough people.A Kryptonian could likely hide in plain sight among them.

He remembered the meeting of the families of Krypton when it first became apparent that their planet was dying.Earth had been the first suggested planet of refuge when evacuation was still a consideration the Els had to offer their people.Earth had the resources Krypton did not, and a planetary system strong enough not to yet fall for several billion years.But the Earthlings were already destroying their planet, the same way Kryptonians had theirs, and suddenly the offer was gone.

And yet, the planet was still thriving, maintaining a population of humans that far exceeded what Krypton ever could have handled.And Kara and Kal-El had both made their way to that safe house. _And so would he_ , Non thought as he plotted a course to Earth. _It was only a matter of time until his mission would be fulfilled._

***

Earth, Non decided, was a particularly barbaric place.The humans were wasteful, unappreciative, and self-absorbed.They lacked all the fine graces that had been standard amongst even the most imbecilic Kryptonians.Their hedonism and hunger for war was far beyond any that he’d observed on Daxam.And they still thought themselves a superior race.

They still hadn’t gotten a human beyond the celestial body — a mere rock, honestly — still locked in their orbit.It was pitiful.They were so blissfully unaware of all their shortcomings.

And humans were weak.Collectively, they were gracelessly disunited, fighting each other for resources, ideologies, and even faiths, as if one consensus for truth could be made and as if one version of their world was more correct than the others.Physically, they were standard.But as Non quickly discovered, they were unreceptive to the strength of their own star.Non, however, grew to enjoy their yellow sun and the subsequent strength, agility, and speed.He felt like a god amongst the humans.

He regretted for a moment, not forcing the house of El to send all surviving Kryptonians to Earth.Had they come together, they could have ruled this planet.Even without sheer force, the humans were so dismally isolated, there was no force in this galaxy that could protect them against an army of superiorly strengthened Kryptonian forces.It would have been a glorious battle.

Still, the humans did have a few features which were of great use to Non.Firstly, they were a loud and open bunch.They spoke with force about everything, true or not, they had heard, and information spread between them like infections, passing from one to the next with the slightest contact.The second feature, he discovered while appreciating the first.It seemed that humans already had a mystifying reverence for Kryptonians.Non had traced the signal to a place called National City, where he discovered humans and aliens alike speaking in hushed tones about a man who called himself Superman, and his search for Kara Zor-El.

Non had to laugh.Kal-El had chosen quite an amusing name for himself, and he’d failed to stay hidden amongst the humans.It only made his task easier.Of course, Kal-El was nowhere to be found.Still, it didn’t stop anyone from looking for him.

Non followed the chatterers to a gathering place in National City, after only a day of gathering intelligence.So when he found himself in a bar, he listened to whatever idle chatter he could.He heard a man mumble “The last daughter of Krypton,” and he knew he was in the right place.Non scoured the bar to determine the source of the comment.He had just trained his ear on the couple sitting in the corner, when the woman mentioned Superman.And the more attention he paid to them, the more familiar they both seemed.

The man looked incredibly familiar.A Kryptonian guard, perhaps?Surely not someone of enough importance to pose much of a threat.But the woman?She reminded him so much of his wife.And that thought kept his attention on them throughout their conversation.He had found one of the Els, but his plan was worthless if he could not end them both. 

So he waited.And as they made plans to visit a place called Metropolis, he made a plan of his own.And it would begin with this Maxwell Lord.Delighted with a destination and a means, he set off to discover where he could find the man and his Super Rail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was enough of Non for you because i'm not giving him any more chapters... He'll get a couple little blurbs, but I don't think I'm writing his perspective for anything more than a couple of sentences after this...
> 
> That being said, let me know how you feel! Here or on tumblr (karadanversprince) or both. Okay. See y'all later!


	9. Journey To The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a journey.... to the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To AvengingLegendHobo, Sunflower_Nation, Karamello, maxiefae, and emilaysjonas, thank you for the feedback. I love you all so much. Your comments motivate me to post faster, so thank you!

It took Alex a full week to get Mike’s clearance from the DEO, and even with all that work, J’onn forced him to bring an agent.Luckily, Agent Schott made himself available.And the simplicity of that gave Mon-El a certain thrill.He had prepared for everything.

Mon-El had anticipated all of J’onn’s demands.And he was remarkably proud of himself, since careful planning and negotiating had been two of his greater talents and it had been ages since he used them to his advantage.

By the time Thursday came around, Mon-El had shoved what few necessities he had into a duffle bag and waited in the lobby, where Kira had promised she’d be by noon sharp.And, unsurprisingly, she was early.Bizarrely early.Because when he walked over to Winn’s desk to check if everything was set, Kira was sitting nearby, chatting idly with her sister, a vintage suitcase resting by her feet.

“Oh!” Kira exclaimed as she noticed his presence. “Mike.Are we ready to go?”

“I was about to ask Winn the same question,” he said turning to his friend, who was attempting to squeeze his laptop into an already stuffed bag.

“Kira has the tickets.Train is in just under an hour, and we can be there in five if Alex decides to drive fast.”Winn said, gritting his teeth as he pulled the zipper with little success.Mon-El held his hand out and waited for Winn to hand the device over.When he did, Mon-El opened his bag and deposited it with room still leftover.

“I can’t believe you’re making _me_ shuttle you three to the train.Why couldn’t you have Dana take you?”Winn laughed.Alex huffed in annoyance knowing she wouldn’t get a good answer.

***

Kira had to admit — even though she generally wasn’t a fan of Maxwell Lord, his train truly was stunning.And fast.Which was good, considering how a cross country train ride was a major time suck. 

Since the trip would be long and their work private, Winn ensured they had a cabin to themselves, toward the front of the train.Everything was sleek and silver, but perhaps a little too cold for her liking.Still, she was grateful for the privacy.

At least, at first she was.As the trip progressed on, she and Mike grew increasingly irritable.He was on-edge the first hour or so, and they hadn’t even started lessons yet.She was beginning to rethink her hope of making friends with the stranger.And perhaps it wasn’t entirely his fault.

They had been sitting in silence since the train started moving.The only time she had spoken to Mike was when he briefly excused himself to go to the dining car.When he returned, so did the uncomfortable silence.Kira found herself daydreaming to pass the time, clutching and playing with her necklace in moments of restlessness. 

“Would you stop touching that thing?It’s distracting and not — dignified,” Mike said.Kira dropped her necklace.

“Dignified?”Her tone was bitter and sharp.She stared at him half in shock and half in disgust.

“Is unbecoming a better word?Not very Kryptonian.”Winn looked over at the two and opened his eyes wide in concern.He started gesturing to get Mon-El to stop, but his friend was not paying attention.

“And what makes you an expert, you — jerk…face.”Her brow crinkled as she tried to spit the insult out smoothly with little success.Mike resisted the urge to laugh.

“I make it my business to know.”

“So you’ve met many Kryptonians I take it,” she said scoffing.

He mumbled under his breath and that irritated Kira.But instead of retaliating, she chose to try for the moral high ground and ignored him as best she could.After sitting for about twenty minutes in dignified silence, Mike excused himself and stewed for a few minutes.Winn followed to lecture him, but Mon-El was already beating himself up over his snappy comments.It was hardly appropriate, given her behavior to be so critical over something so stupid.Especially when he hadn’t lectured her before.He had no idea what had come over him. It was as if his instinct was to fight with her.As if he knew her too well for them to stay normal.

When he returned, Kira was relaxed in her seat, her legs stretched across the bench, eyes fixed on the view out the window. 

He cleared his throat to announce his presence before speaking.

“I just wanted to apologize.For my rudeness. in particular, but also because I haven’t been doing my job, and I’m sorry for that.”

Kira watched him but didn’t reply.

“Look I think we got off on the wrong foot.”He extended his hand to her.“My name is Mon-El.I go by Mike when I’m outside the DEO.I just figured, if we’re going to be stuck together, you might as well know.”She gripped his hand tentatively and shook it.

“Anything else I should know?”She asked, looking confused and surprised.

He thought for a moment that Alex might have told her more than he wanted.But Alex, though intimidating, was still trustworthy when it came to secrets like his.He couldn’t even try to count the number of times he’d relied on her.This was nothing compared to some of those.She wouldn’t have dared mention it.Not when he promised he would admit it on his own.And regardless of how much he trusted Alex, he could tell from her expression that none of this was information she knew before.Either that or she was a phenomenal actress.

“Nothing comes to mind.Just maybe don’t go telling everyone, okay?Mike works just fine in public.” 

“Deal.Well, I’m Kira Danvers.Just Kira works for me, but I guess we can call me Kara as needed to keep this thing going.”

“I’ll stick with Kira for now.”That got her to smile.Kira moved her legs to let him sit next to her.

“So, since we are all introduced, I was thinking we could talk?About anything.It doesn’t have to be about Kara.I just want us to understand each other better.”When he didn’t stop her, she continued. “I don’t have much of a story to me.I was adopted at fourteen by the Danvers.Jeremiah and Eliza.They’re amazing.And, of course, you already know Alex.”

“That I do,” he said absentmindedly. 

“And beyond that, I don’t have much family.No cousins or grandparents to speak of.Not living, at least.So… what about your family?”

He winced.“They’re, uh, gone.” 

“I’m so sorry.How —”

“It was an accident.Outside our control.I was twenty two, so —” he hesitated. “It’s been two years.It feels like decades though.I’ve had my time to move on.”She reached out to place her hand over his, which was gripped the edge of the bench between them. “It doesn’t matter though.We didn’t get along.”

“That’s horrible.I’m —” Kira started.

“It’s fine.I just _really_ don’t want to talk about it, Kira.”Kira didn’t speak at first, instead pulling his hand from the bench and flipping it over so she could weave their fingers together.She looked at him with a mixture of empathy and sorrow, and nodded.

“Okay.”Kira didn’t press him any further, but she didn’t draw her hand away until exhaustion overcame her and she tempted herself with the comfort of a nap.

***

It was another few hours before Kira tried to talk to him, and for a moment, he’d convinced himself that he’d only talk to her when he was training her.But that was too tall an order, it seemed.

“You know,” Kira said, glancing out the window, “I’ve never been outside of National City before.At least as long as I can remember.Have you?”

“I relocated a couple years ago.I’ve seen a lot outside the city.But none of this.”He gestured towards the window with vague disinterest.Kira kept her eyes on the window, watching the unchanging blur of indistinct greens and browns melding into each other.She supposed it wasn’t as stunning as she’d imagined.

“Do you think you’ll miss the DEO while we’re away?” she asked.

“No.”Kira whipped her head towards him so fast she nearly hit him with her hair.

“But it’s your home.”Her voice grew soft and sad.

“It is the place I live now.It is not and never will be home,”he replied.

“Then what is home?”

“My home… It’s — I left a long time ago.It’s hardly home anymore.Besides, I was never happy there anyway.”

“Well surely somewhere is home to you.Somewhere has to have those memories.Somewhere you’d give anywhere to be?”

“Kira, please don’t.”He clasped his hands tightly tighter and leaned forward on his knees, trying not to look at her. 

“Don’t what?I’m just trying to get to know you.”She moved to touch him on the shoulder, a gesture of comfort and compassion.But then,he turned his head, and she thought better of it.

“What is it with you and home?”His voice was quiet, but he was becoming increasingly harsh with each word.

“Excuse me?”

“Why do you need to know, Kira?It’s like you’re obsessed with it.Some people don’t have homes.Some people have shitty homes.Some don’t need them.If you want to talk about families and homes, Winn is full of tragic tales.I don’t need to entertain you with _mine_.And as for you getting to know me, I’ll pass.I’m not one of your stories, okay?”

“Fine.If you’ll excuse me,” she said, shoving his feet out of the way so she could leave their compartment.

Winn looked up at Mon-El with an expression of discomfort unlike any he’d seen before.Worse than the time Mon-El had snuck out of the DEO and Winn was put in charge of the reports when they got him back in custody and Mon-El had had to explain exactly what he was up to.Not his proudest moment on Earth. 

“You know you could _try_ being nice and talking to her.She is doing you a favor.”Winn wasn’t looking at him, paying close attention to his laptop’s screen as he worked, but Mon-El knew the look he would be given if Winn wasn’t distracted.

“And so am I.But at least _I_ don’t ask so many questions.”He clenched his jaw and exhaled a long, tense breath.

“Oh no.I sense an _unspoken_ _attraction_.”Winn said in a singsong, looking up.The man was beaming in amusement and Mon-El was not in the mood for his friend’s teasing.

“For that stubborn reporter?You are out of your mind.”Mon-El crossed his arms and turned to the window.

Winn ignored him and pulled out a pair of headphones to help him fall asleep.The heavens only knew how much he’d need them if Kira and Mon-El got in another fight.It’d been two today, and there was still time in the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to spare you the cliffhanger this time. Next time... We get some MonWinn and i'm excited about it.  
> Sorry for Mon-El's bad attitude... He isn't used to being vulnerable. And Kara sets him on edge... I wonder why.
> 
> Share your feels! Hang out with the tumblr squad: karadanversprince
> 
> Love you all so much!


	10. Holding Out For A Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If we live through this, remind me to thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunflower_Nation, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Karamello, chocoholic_78, and emilaysjonas -- thanks for the feedback <3 Y'all are AMAZING.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy the MonWinn this chapter. I will go down with this brotp.

By the time the three went to sleep, Kira and Mike were back to speaking terms without snapping at each other — a miraculous feat if any there was.They found a vague sense of comfort at some point in the late evening, falling asleep to the whirring of the train beneath them.

Mon-El woke to the sound of the engines at full thrust and the accompanying jolt that came with it.Startled, he shifted forward, only to find Kira pressed against his side.He tried to come up with a simple solution to get her off without disturbing her, but to no avail.So instead, he kicked his legs out and knocked Winn in the leg.Winn bolted upright looking around for any sign of danger. 

“Help,” Mon-El whispered, pointing to Kira.

“Seriously man, you woke me up for that?What gives?”Winn dragged his hands down his face and rubbed his eyes.

“Something’s going on with the train.I need to check it out.”

“Spidey-sense?”Winn asked, still sleepy.

“What?”

“Nevermind.I forget you haven’t seen that yet.”Winn shook his hands in front of him as he yawned.“Forget I said anything.Alright, just wake her up.”

Mon-El raised his hands in surrender and turned towards the girl resting on his shoulder.

“Kira,” Mon-El whispered.“Kira, wake up.”

Kira whimpered in her sleep, keeping her eyes pressed shut.She curled closer into his side to shut out his noise, waved her hand in his generally direction — dismissing him — then rested her hand on his shoulder.Mon-El shot Winn a look of exasperation and tried again.

“Kira, get up,” he said, moving to shake her awake gently.

She jolted awake the moment his hand touched her shoulder, moving so quickly that he didn’t have time to get out of her way.With a tremendous force, Kira flung her hand up, smacking him in the face with as little grace or purpose as could be expected from a girl who was lightly snoring moments before.

“What the hell?” Mon-El asked, gripping his nose.He stared at her stunned, checking for blood.“How did you —”

“I’m sorry,” Kira said covering her mouth.She reached one hand forward to touch him and check that he was okay, but pulled her hand back when he met her with a glare. 

“You nearly broke my nose.”Winn snickered as Mon-El winced in pain.

“I didn’t mean to but you woke me up.I can’t be held responsible for what happens when you do that.” She was smiling, resisting laughter, despite his clear annoyance with her. 

“Grife.Then remind me never to do that again,” he said. 

“Deal.Now what’s so urgent?”

“Something’s not right.Wait here.I’ll check it out.”

“You woke me up so you could take off?” Kira asked, indignant.

“You were sleeping on me.I couldn’t just get up.Besides, I wanted to make sure you were alert in case something _is_ wrong.”His voice softened. 

“Fine.Just go.”

***

And it seemed something definitely was wrong.He’d heard the engine shifting from their cabin, but as he grew closer to the front of the train, Winn following shortly behind, Mon-El figured out why.

“Does it sound like it’s accelerating to you?” he asked.

“It sounds like it’s going full speed.It’s not supposed to go more than a hundred miles per hour.It said so in the pamphlet.But we’re going — ”Winn checked the system read out.“Woah-ho-ho.A lot faster than that.Mon-El, the breaks won’t sustain this kind of pressure if something should—”

“How do we get the train to stop?Where is the conductor?” Mon-El, looked around for a control room, or anything that might help them.But there was nothing to be found.

“It doesn't need one.The train drives itself.” 

“There’s no conductor?” 

Winn nodded.“It’s an automated system.”

“There has to be a manual override.”

“Like brakes?”

“Yes.Brakes.”Mon-El found a lever behind him and went to pull it.

“The breaks that I just said aren’t equipped for this speed?” Winn asked.Still, Mon-El didn’t listen.Instead he pulled the bar as hard as he could muster.Perhaps a little too hard with his enhanced strength, but he’d anticipated that it would help the breaks do their job quicker.The handle broke.The train did not.

“Not my wisest idea.”He muttered, the bent metal resting in his outstretched palm as he marveled at how useless the entire thing was.“Winn, can you disrupt the programming or something?”

“Well, I can try.”He wandered to the computer against the wall and started to fiddle around.After a few minutes of deep concentration and typing, Winn spoke again. 

“Mon-El, I think someone’s tampering with the programming.”

“So someone is actively trying to get this train to speedup?”Winn gave a swift nod and returned his attention to the screen, typing furiously.“Why?”

“They might be trying to prove a point to Lord.Or maybe someone’s rigging this thing to break?The engine can’t be strong enough to handle much more of this without some good old-fashioned spontaneous combustion.”

“So it’s going to explode?”

“It wouldn’t if I could get it to accept my coding, but — the system is overriding it.I don’t know who is controlling this, but they’re good, Mon-El.They’re really good.I don’t know if I can shut the engines down myself.”

Mon-El ran a hand through his hair, grabbing a fistful as he tried, with great difficulty, to come up with a good plan.Winn stepped away from the computer again, approaching Mon-El with his hands up. 

“Mon-El, I know you said you didn’t want to do the hero nonsense —” Winn began.

“I don’t.”His brow was furrowed, making him appear both curious and upset by whatever would inevitably come out of Winn’s mouth next.

“But everyone here needs a hero right now.”Mon-El had been hoping his friend wouldn’t chose now as another good time to bring it up.Because it would never be a good time and he didn’t want any part of it.

“I’m going to fix this.But that doesn’t mean anything, Winn.You understand?”Mon-El placed his hand firmly on Winn’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. 

“Maybe to you it doesn’t, but you’re going to be somebody’s hero today.”Winn stood his ground, like he did every single time they’d had a conversation to this effect.And there was never a real winner when they tried to convince each other of whether Mon-El was hero material. 

“Which is why we will be telling no one.” Mon-el spoke slow, keeping his eyes trained on his friend, willing him to give in, yet again.

“Yes, sir.”Winn said sarcastically, eyeing him with suspicion.Mon-El took what little victory from the exchange that he could.Still, he cringed at Winn’s choice of words.

“Not Sir.I hate that.”

“Who calls you ‘sir’?” 

It had been a long time since anyone had, and he never cared for it.There had been a time he had accepted other names, but there were a few he could not stand. 

“A conversation for another time.”Winn rolled his eyes.And Mon-El realized, he should probably be able to talk to his best friend about things like this.But not today.

“Fine.Alright, what can I do?”

“Get everyone to the back of the train and tell them to brace themselves.”

“Got it.”Winn turned away.

“And Winn, keep Kira safe!”Mon-El shouted as Winn closed the cabin door behind him.

***

Since it seemed fighting technology with technology wasn’t going to work, Mon-El decided the only way to solve this mess was with brute force.And if he’d learned anything about his powers on Earth, it was that he could manage brute force.It was what he did best.

He attempted to follow the engine’s lines to some point where he could damage it enough to let the train gradually slow without hurting anyone inside the vessel, but that proved fruitless considering how they were careening down the tracks, with no way to guarantee the thing would even brake if he could cut the power.

He was standing between the engine car and the first passenger cabin when he notice that the metal segments attaching the two were melded together.Someone had planned for this attackand for a backup plan in case the engine could be stopped.He threw a few steel punches at the juncture between the two cars.The metal began to fracture at its thinnest point.And within a few minutes of targeted aggression, the metal cracked, and the engine car broke away from the remainder of the train. 

With a sign of relief, he watched it rush further ahead, only to panic once more when he realized the train still wasn’t slowing.He jumped down onto the tracks, hoping desperately that the people inside had listened to Winn and braced themselves.Digging his heels into the ground, he shoved against the speeding train.Metal framework curled and snapped around his feet.Mon-El let out a labored grunt as he slid back from the force of the giant metal death trap he’d volunteered to get on.Then, steadily, the train responded to him, slowing glacially at first, then suddenly with the groaning of metal on metal moving in ways it was never intended to.

And then it was done.He stood at the front of the passenger car, regaining his breath when a loud boom echoed in front of him.That was when he saw the smoke.And although he knew the threat had passed — barely — he still ran through the train until he reached the last three cabins.He caught sight of Winn and Kira amid a cluster of passengers looking in dazed confusion, each trying to piece together what happened. 

“Winn.Kira.”He said, gripping both of their arms closely.“Are you both okay?”

“Just fine,” Kira said, reaching out to brush a mixture of grime and dust off his shirt.“What about you —we were trying to get everyone back here, but I couldn’t find you.”

“I’m okay.No cuts or bruises.See?”He raised his hands.

Kira looked at him and smiled.“Well I see that now.”Then she turned to look towards the front of the train.“So what happened over there?”

“The train was going too fast, and then the emergency breaks kicked in,” Winn answered for him.“At least that’s what it seems like to me.”

“Regardless,” Mon-El offered without correcting Winn, “I think it’s probably best if we get off this train as soon as possible and find another way to Metropolis.”Winn and Kira nodded in agreement.Then each of them gathered their things and made their way away from the train as the crowds of people began disembarking.

***

Observing from a distance, Non watched as the three made their way from the train tracks and onto a major road.His first attempt had been shortsighted, he realized.It had all the makings of a tragic accident, but he hadn’t anticipated the young man who accompanied her at the bar to step in.Next time, he would have to think of something truly cruel to end Kara’s life, and the lives of anyone who would protect her.And he had the perfect thing in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr is karadanversprince. Come talk to me there or here. 
> 
> We've officially reached the point I've finished writing... Which means I'm gonna be working my butt off for these next updates. Comments help me get down to business, so let me know how the feels are.


	11. Learn To Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I can learn to do it, you can learn to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunflower_Nation, thoroughlytrash, emilaysjonas, katie, and chocoholic_98 thank you all for the lovely comments. I hope you like this one! Lot's of infodumping, but it's worth it, I think, for everything in between.

After the train fiasco, Mon-El was resistant to any attempts at taking public transportation.So, with two days drive ahead of them, the three set off on a road trip.Winn drove most of the way, listening to Kira and Mon-El bickering and chatting in the backseat. 

They had 30 hours of driving ahead of them, not counting any rest stops, and so the first segment of driving began.As they drove off, Winn at the wheel and Kira at the maps, Mon-El decided it was as good a time as ever to start Kira’s lessons.

Mon-El began with an exhaustive explanation of Kryptonian political structure, beginning with the role of Kara’s family — as they were central to all governance on the planet.And the more he talked about what he could remember of Krypton’s domestic politics, the more he found himself explaining Krypton’s extra-atmospheric involvements.After all, Kara had been born into a life that would have afforded her with the greatest knowledge of Krypton’s place in the universe and all the inner workings of maintaining that place.

“Krypton was mostly a diplomatic partner for neighboring star systems,” he explained, as Kira sat in rapt attention.“They avoided war where and when they could.They had no interest in maintaining more than one at a time.”

“Sorry, what?I thought you said Krypton was a peaceful planet,” Kira said, shaking her head.

“With most others, yes.But they were constantly at war with their sister planet.Kinda of polar opposites they were, Daxam and Krypton.”He said the two names with a hint of residual annoyance for all the trouble that duality had caused him.

“What about Daxam?”Kira asked.

Mon-El sighed, not looking forward to what came next.“You should probably learn about that, too.You were young, but you were training to be an emissary.And anyone who worked in diplomacy paid close attention to Daxam.”

“What do I need to know?”

“Daxam was a monarchy.They had a queen and king at home for domestic ruling, but the high council and the prince were largely the ones responsible for diplomatic missions.They, umm — they didn’t _have_ a really organized system for diplomatic relations.Which explained a lot of their problems, actually.”

Kira watched his expressions carefully as he spoke, surprised by the general tone of disgust as he continued. 

“When Krypton fell, the planet exploded and destroyed Daxam in its wake.Uh, solar storms, asteroids, the whole _end of the world_.The Kryptonians — they knew it was coming, but they didn’t tell Daxam.They didn’t even tell all _their_ people.They wanted to fix it.But then there was an uprising and any hope of saving the planet died.”

“So Daxam was left helpless?” Kira asked.

“Well, not entirely helpless.Individuals on both planets knew what was happening and spoke up.Had the King and Queen worked with the Kryptonians, I know they could have done something, even if it was just evacuating the planet.But they were content to ignore their problems, and their people paid the price.” 

“Tell me about the prince.What was he like?” she asked.

“As typical a royal as ever there was.He thought himself a great man.” 

“What happened to him?”

“When the planets died, he didn’t stay with his people.”

“He didn’t?”

“No, instead he abandoned his world to sacrifice for the greater good of another.”He tried to curb the bitterness in his voice.He could feel an unforgiving lecture rising in his throat, with two years of inner hostilities, well-repressed, bubbling to the surface.

“Surely he was still a good man if he’d —” Kira began.

“He was a _fool_.And a coward.”Mon-El snapped.

Kira watched him in confusion.Mon-El couldn’t look at her, so he looked straight ahead and gritted his teeth angrily.Even Winn took his eyes off the road momentarily to check if Mon-El was okay.He’d never seen the man talk this way about _any_ of his people, good or bad.

“Are you actually blaming _him_ for what happened to Daxam?” Kira asked, after a long pause to gather her thoughts.“Because that is hardly fair.The King and Queen might have been able to save their people, but what exactly do you expect the prince would have been able to do?It’s not like he had any power over the end of the world.”

“You didn’t know him, Kira,” Mon-El said, much softer than before.

“Yeah, well, neither did you,” she snapped back.

He held his breath.He could say something.He could say something right now, and it might be the right time, but they were fighting again and he didn’t want to have to explain himself to her now. 

He didn’t reply, but Kira got the picture.Lessons were done for now.She needed to give him whatever space she could.

***

Eventually, the car needed gas, so Winn pulled off the road and into the first station he found.Feeling trapped after hours in the compact car, Mon-El decided to stretch his legs.When he returned, Kira was watching him, hands in her lap, biting her lip as if she was holding something back.Once he was settled in, she decided to speak.

“Hey, Mike.I’m sorry for upsetting you earlier.It seems I hit a nerve, and I shouldn’t have fought you over it.You know what you’re talking about, and I should just accept that.”She wouldn’t look at him, focusing instead on getting her apology out.She was never much good at saying she was sorry. 

“Apology accepted.”That made her smile, so she turned to look at him.

“Good, because I was hoping we could get back to lessons.” 

“Right,” he said, letting out a tense breath.“Where were we?”

“We were talking about the prince _but_ —”

“Yeah, you know he’s not important in the grand scheme of things, so why don’t we focus on something else?”

Kira nodded.“I still want to know about Daxam.”

“Okay, well where to begin?”

“Why were they at war?” she asked.She watched him think for a moment before answering.

“There are many stories.Myths, mostly.Some say Kryptonians were responsible for the murder of one of the royal family, but I think that’s crap.Kryptonians and Daxamites — they really didn’t get along.Just on a fundamental basis.There was this joke — it’s hard to explain.Kind of like the _how many does it take to screw in a lightbulb_ jokes.Anyway, it was always about putting a Kryptonian and a Daxamite in the same room, and it always ended with them fighting.” 

“Why did they fight so much?”

“Well Kryptonians — Daxamites thought they were a bit high and mighty.Judgmental.Kryptonians felt like they belonged to the moral high ground.They were concerned with truth and justice and self governance. And _even_ if their intentions _were_ good, their methods were drastic and off-putting for a lot of beings.Especially the Daxamites.”Kira only nodded.

“And Kryptonians hated how opposed the Daxamites were to their way of life.See on Daxam, pleasure and selfishness took precedence over duty, most of the time.They were hedonists, _textbook_ hedonists.And full of vice.You know, partying, drinking, drugs, sex — any form of escapism they could come up with became the most essential thing about them in the eyes of the Kryptonians.Of course, they weren’t entirely wrong.And that wasn’t even the worst of it.I mean, I could go _on and on_ , but there weren’t many admirable things about the Daxamites, in general.It just wasn’t pretty.And the Kryptonians thought very little of them most of the time.”

Mon-El shook his head, lost in his own thoughts for a moment.

“All you really need to know is that at the time of your escape,Daxam and Krypton were celebrating the end to one of their many ongoing wars.”

“So they were at peace?” she asked.

“Barely.It wasn’t easy calling a truce.But there was calm.Right in the moment before the end.” 

Winn returned to the car once the tank was full, and Mon-El stopped talking, suddenly.As if this conversation was too private for his friend’s involvement. 

“Hey Mike,” Kira said smiling as Winn turned the engine on.“What do you call a Daxamite and a Kryptonian working together?” 

“What?”

“The end of the world.”

Mon-El tried to restrain it, but he let out a snort before he could stop himself.Then he cracked the biggest smile Kira had ever seen, partially hiding it behind a closed fist.And all Kira knew was that she wanted to see more of it.She found herself frozen, watching his amusement in awe.Willing herself to breath and willing her heart to return to normal. 

Winn’s laughter brought her back to Earth.He was busting up in the front seat, and Mon-El kicked the back of his seat to get him to calm down.

Winn piped up from the front of the car after a few minutes of calm silence.“Good news, you two.If we make good time tomorrow, we should get to Metropolis by sunset.Just in time to meet with James at a party.He’s got us on the invite list.”

“You had me at party,” Mon-El said, leaning forward to pat Winn on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, who is James?” Kira asked, both Winn and Mon-El oblivious to how unaware she’d become of the plan.

“He’s only the greatest news photographer this side of the country,” Winn said over his shoulder.

“James — You mean Jimmy Olsen?” Kira asked, alarmed.

“Of course,” Winn replied,“He’s Superman’s closest confidant.”

“I thought we were going to see Superman.Not his buddy at the Daily Planet.”

“Nobody gets to Superman without getting through Jimmy,” Mon-El said, settling back into his seat.

“I can’t — Oh my god.”

“Kira, relax.” 

“Neither of you said I’d need to prove myself.To anyone, let alone _Jimmy Olsen_.Mike, I don’t lie.”Her voice grew quiet and Mon-El could sense her distress. He put his hand on her shoulder, half to comfort and half to get her attention.

“You don’t know it’s a lie, Kira.”

Kira took a deep breath.“You’re right.I’m sorry.”They had discussed it when this whole plan started.That it was okay if it wasn’t true, because they didn’t know.The point was finding out.At least in part.For her.

“But that’s why we are preparing you.So, are you ready for your lineage?”

“Do I _really_ need to learn _everyone’s_ names?” Kira whined.

“Yes. That’s probably the only thing you really need to know,” he said jokingly, a smile on his face.

“You’re telling me you lectured me on politics and social customs just for the fun of it?”She teased.

“Damn right I did, Danvers.”They both laughed.Mon-El flashed his brightest smile.“So, Kira.Think you can handle it?”

“Where do we start?”

***

After an extensive lesson in her family tree, Mon-El started quizzing Kara on the names of the most important family members.

“Who got the House of El involved in governing?” He said, a devious grin plastered on his face.

“That’d be — Tala-El, right?With the constitution?”Mon-El held his hand out to give her a high five.She continued as she hit his hand.“Although, I’m not sure if he counts considering how long it took the rest of the family to get involved.”

“Yes, but he made a name for them in that capacity.”

“Fine.Fine.Unfair question, _but_ I’m right anyway.” 

“Okay, Miss Zor-El,” he said with a wink.“Who _is_ Zor-El?”

“My father.Mother is Alura.”She said, rolling her eyes.

“Very good.”He hesitated, considering what to ask next, since she’d already answered his next question.“What about Kal-El’s mother?”

“Lara Lor-Van, wife of Jor-El.”

“I honestly didn’t think you’d get her last name this time.”Last time, she hadn’t even bothered with the family names, forgetting that the women in her family didn't usually adopt family names after marriage

“I figured as much.You underestimated me, Mike Matthews.You shouldn’t do it again.”She tried maintaining a devious grin, but she broke into a beam as he laughed again.

“No I shouldn’t.”He stopped laughing and tried to gather his thoughts.“Alright.One more.Jor-El’s twin was—”

“Nim-El — You know I really thought this was going to be much worse.But the naming system just makes it easier.Now I’ve got a question.Were Astra and Non within the House of El, or was it relation by technicality or were they blood bound at all?”

Mon-El shook his head, surprised at the question.“Astra was your mother’s sister, and Non was her husband.Since your mother married into the House of El, they are not blood bound.In fact, Non waged war against the House of El right before Krypton collapsed.”

She sat there thoughtfully. 

“Okay.I think I’ve got it.”

“Oh trust me, Kira.You’ve got it.You’re going to do spectacularly.”

Kira sighed and leaned against the window, watching as trees sped by as they zipped along the freeway.

“I really should have taken you up on seeing those holo-projections.I wish I could see what Krypton was like,” she said.

“It was _beautiful_.”He looked at the window, imagining it for a moment.“In the mornings, the red sun would peak over the horizon and angle just right so that the tops of every building positively gleamed.”

Kira looked at him with curiosity.Mon-El scrambled to come up with a good excuse.“Kryptonian writers loved to mention it.I uhhh — I’ve read a few modern Kryptonian texts in my studies, and it’s one thing they agree on.”

“Mike?How do you know so much about Krypton if the planet is gone?” 

“The pods, they have — it’s like an archive?” he said.“A wealth of information about Krypton and its system.I’ve studied it so much it was almost as if I was there all those years ago, in the height of the Kryptonian Golden Age.”

“And about everything else?”

“I live full time at the DEO with every available resource.Studying planets is what I’ve done for longer than I can remember.There was once a time when I had hoped to traverse the stars bringing intergalactic cooperation.” 

“What happened?” Kira asked.

“It was a long time ago.I was young and naive.” 

“Why did you give up?”

Mon-El sighed.“How can there be peace between worlds if any one planet cannot keep peace within its atmosphere?” 

“So instead you keep peace on this one.”Kira couldn’t help the admiration that graced each of her features.

“Only on my better days.”

“National City is lucky to have a hero like you.” 

“I’m not a hero,” he whispered. 

“You’re a top secret agent working for the government to assure the protection of the people.Taking no credit for whatever work you do to keep us all safe.But _sure_ , you’re no hero.”Kira smirked at him, eyes full of skepticism, before turning back to the window.

Mon-El caught Winn’s eyes in the rearview mirror.Winn was staring at him, eyebrows raised in a knowing look.He could already hear the _I told you so_ that Winn would have uttered if Kira wasn’t sitting right there. 

***

An hour later, they decided to stop for the night and booked rooms at the first hotel they could find.Kira rushed ahead to the elevator as Mon-El grabbed everyone’s bags.

“Mon-El,” Winn whispered as he came around to get his bag. “Did you tell her about Non and Astra before?” 

“I don’t know,” Mon-El replied, watching Kira’s retreating figure with concern.“I’m not sure I did.But I must have, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun....
> 
> This chapter is the longest yet, and I kinda love it for that. Hope you did too!  
> Sorry for the long wait. It felt like forever for me. Hopefully the next one will be up in the next day or two because I can't wait for the next few chapters.  
> As always, I'm here and on tumblr : karadanversprince if you wanna talk <3  
> Love you all bunches!!


	12. 1, 2, 3, and Suddenly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s radiant and confident and born to take this chance…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to emilaysjonas, Alex, Karamello, AvengingLegendHobo, Sunflower_Nation, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, karamel, and LaTorre14 for all the amazing comments. This chapter took me way too long, but y'all helped me through it with all your support and kindness. So much love for you.
> 
> Also, I decided to do Winn's POV for most of this, so please let me know how you feel.

The next morning was a mad dash as Kira woke Mon-El and Winn bright and early, saying she wanted to get a head start.She let herself into their room shortly after the sunrise, before she’d even changed out of her pajamas.

Mon-El woke with a start at the sound of the door opening.He sat up straight, braced for whatever danger was present, ready to run at a moment’s notice.His adrenaline was going crazy, and his eyes were wide with panic.He moved so quick and forceful that he nearly broke the bedside table.  
Winn, on the bed closest to the door, just peeked his eyes open, to find Kira standing at the entryway, hardly paying attention to either of them and not bothering to announce her presence.

“Boys, I’m getting breakfast if you two want anything,” she said, clasping her necklace with care.“I want us to be out on the road soon.”

She glanced over at the two of them as she pulled her hair back into a high ponytail.

“Oh.And I want you two up and ready by the time I get back.If we’re going to that party, I’ll need time to get prepared.So, up.Now.”She smiled at Mon-El, who was still confused.“And put a shirt on, would you?”

She shut the door.Mon-El fell back against his pillow, groaning.

“Is she always going to be so — chipper?” he asked.

Winn pulled his covers away and stood up. 

“Come on, man.The sooner you get up, the sooner we’ll get to Metropolis.You two can flirt later.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Mon-El said, his tone vaguely threatening.

“Pretend all you want.”

Mon-El took a deep breath before getting up.He didn’t want to keep Kira waiting.

***

As promised, they arrived in Metropolis with an hour to spare before they needed to head out.Kira was nervous and pacing as they checked into the hotel, the thought of meeting James messing with her nerves.The drive alone was enough to make her stir crazy.She rushed to the room when they finished to have time to get ready. 

He and Winn changed quickly.While they waited until it was time to go, they worked on the trip reports J’onn had assigned.Winn had worked on them alone on the train, but a lot had happened between then and now, and Winn hadn’t been present for all of it. They finished with time to spare, and Mon-El decided they had left Kira alone for long enough.

Her room was only a couple doors down from theirs, so he walked over to double check that everything was okay. 

He wasn’t sure what it was about this place.Whether it was Metropolis, or the hotel, or something else than made him nervous.The worst kind of nervous.Everything in him told him something was wrong and he was dreading being right.

He knocked on her door, his nerves getting the best of him.When she didn't answer the first time, he was concerned.He hit the door a little harder, calling her name.

“Kira, are you okay?”

The door flew open and Mon-El almost stumbled forward.

“You just couldn’t wait for me to get my shoes on, now could you?” she said, balancing on one foot as she buckled the side of one of her heels.“Well you don’t have to stand there.Come on in.I just have to get my bag and the other shoe.”

Kira held the door open as he walked into the room, then she scurried over to her bed to tend to her other shoe.

“So what’s up?” she asked as she got the second buckle secured.He was so distracted, watching her, that he didn’t really hear what she said. “Hello?Earth to Mike?”

“Sorry, I — Winn and I wanted to make sure everything was okay.We should be heading out and —”

“Oh, yeah.I’m ready to go.”She got up and stopped at the mirror to check that she looked suitable.But she looked more than suitable.She was well put together in a modest and flattering dress that flowed in folds from her waist to her knees.Her hair was pinned back in a bun, but a few tendrils fell around her face, which she was fussing with as she gazed in the mirror.He couldn’t pinpoint a word to explain it, but she looked so effortless.Radiant, perhaps.

And there was something about seeing her like this — getting ready to face the world, so unsure, still mustering every ounce of confidence she had.He couldn’t look away.

She turned back to him and caught his eye.“So is this okay?” she asked, gesturing to her dress.

He looked in confusion before responding.“Of course.You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she said with a stunned smile.“And you — you clean up well, Matthews.New suit?”

“Winn thought I should get one, just in case.”

She smiled and they stood in silence that turned from comfortable to awkward faster than either of them could come up with something to say.

“We should, umm—” he began.

“Yeah, we should —” She nodded, trailing off.

“I’m gonna go get Winn.”

“I’ll meet you at the elevator,” Kira said, excusing herself.

He stepped back to let her out and turned away, walking back to his room to fetch his friend.

***

The Daily Planet sure knew how to throw a bash. Winn had been to many company parties during his time working in IT.But each of them had felt like an obligation back then, and it was difficult to picture this one as any different.Still, he missed it. 

He should have guessed by James’s noncommittal messages that tonight wouldn’t be the night.He knew his old friend wouldn’t completely blow off making plans while he was in town, so there was relief in that thought.But he felt terrible about Kira.He’d somehow caused her multiple panics over the course of the last 48 hours. 

But each time, Mon-El was quick to her side to assure her that everything would be okay.Just the way he had in the car — with soft-spoken words of encouragement, some small contact to ground her, and an ever faithful gaze.

Still, the party had been in swing for almost an hour, and he was growing more and more certain that James wouldn’t make it.And it wouldn’t have been an issue, if he hadn’t taken the two of them with him — since neither would go off and socialize on their own. 

And Winn was tired of watching them like this.Around his fourth drink, a thought struck him on how to put them both back in their element.Was it his best idea?Probably not, but neither was this party.He smiled, watching the two of them sitting at a corner table, deep in conversation.

“Well, Kira,” Winn interrupted, “you look the part.Perhaps it’s time you act it, too.Mon-El, you know the dances, don’t you?Perhaps you can teach them to her.”

“I’m not sure —” Mon-El protested.

“Dances?Why would I need to know dances?”

“On Krypton the dances were a central to every social event.And any Kryptonian over the age of ten would be dancing alongside their family,” Mon-El said.“Same went for Daxam.W—They all loved to dance.”

“I thought the Daxamites were the partiers.”  
“Well, yes, but they both danced.And on Krypton it was highly inappropriate to refuse a dance.”

“Are you asking me?” Kira asked, eyebrows raised.

Mon-El stood up and held out his hand.“I am.”

She set aside her coat and purse to take his hand, letting him lead her off onto the dance floor.She gripped tightly to his arm as they walked, and Winn smiled after them.

“Now I’m a little rusty, but just trust me, okay?” he heard Mon-El say as they moved out of earshot.

Winn watched them from the table, as Mon-El pulled her into a hastened waltz, talking to her the whole time as the dance changed into something unfamiliar.Of course, it still looked like a dance, but the way they turned seemed like something else entirely. 

Kira was laughing as they moved, tossing her head back while they spun.She followed Mon-El’s lead with such precision and comfort that it felt almost like they had done this before.Winn shook his head.That was ridiculous. 

He composed another text to James and set off in search of another drink.

*** 

It took twenty minutes for Winn to get a response from James, and Kira and Mon-El were still dancing.He held in a deep breath as his phone buzzed.

_Hey, man.I’m sorry I won’t be there tonight.Let’s schedule something._

Although he was a little annoyed, he understood.James had always been a busy person, and tonight was supposed to be his night off.So if James didn’t want company, it wasn’t a slight on any of them. 

Winn walked over to a server and took another drink.And as he did, he moved closer to Kira and Mon-El, coming back within earshot.

“See how quickly you are catching on?You’re a quick learner,” he heard Mon-El compliment.It was nice, and completely innocent.Until Kira responded.

“Perhaps the key, like with any coupling, is to find a man who knows what he’s doing?”

Winn never understood why he always overheard the uncomfortable parts of everyone’s conversations, but he did, and this time, he was concerned.He looked over to see that they’d stopped dancing entirely.Mon-El’s eyes were wide, and he was grinning in a state of shock.He was dangerously close to Kira and she wasn’t doing anything to keep him back. 

“Oh, woah,” he said to himself.“Bad idea, Winn.Bad, bad idea.No more letting them dance.”He panicked, trying to find a way to get them distracted.

He noticed a familiar face a few paces away and got a much better idea.He waved him over and called out to his friends as he approached.

“Guys,” he shouted,“there’s someone I want to introduce you both to.”

As if suddenly doused in water, Kira and Mon-El let go and stepped away from each other before coming over to Winn.

Walking up to the man, Winn gestured to the pair behind him.“Hey Clark, I wanted you to meet my friends from National City, Kira and Mike.Mike, Kira, this is —”

“Clark Kent!Sir, it’s an honor and a privilege,” Kira said reaching out to shake his hand.“Your piece on Superman last week just blew me away.You’ve been a huge inspiration for me.”

“She’s a reporter, too,” Winn said, and Kira shook her head.

“I haven’t written anything yet.”

“But when you do it’ll be brilliant,” Mon-El said.Kira turned to look at him, her blush and smile growing more pronounced.

“So what brings you three out to Metropolis?” Clark asked.

“Family,” Kira said.Mon-El nodded and remained quiet, his eyes never leaving her.

“I was just hoping to see James,” Winn replied.

“Is he not here?” Clark looked around.

“No, he just told me he can’t make it.But that’s okay.I’ll get to see him soon enough.”

A shrill beep came from Clark’s pocket, and he reached for his phone.“I should probably go get that,” he said, preparing to leave. “I hope you enjoy your visit.Winn, it’s good to see you again.”

Winn waved and turned back to Mon-El and Kira.“We should probably head back anyway.We’ve still got some work to do, Mike.” 

Mon-El nodded and helped Kira collect her things as Winn hailed a taxi.Then, in minutes, they were back at the hotel.

Kira and Mon-El didn't take their eyes off each other the entire way back up the elevator, and Winn wasn’t sure if it was all those drinks talking, but he was beginning to feel like he was just getting in the way.The elevator came to a stop and the three walked back to their rooms, no one saying a word until they reached Kira’s door.

“Sweet dreams,” Kira said.Her eyes passed between the two of them before lingering on Mon-El, who was looking more and more like a lovestruck puppy every minute.Then Kira turned and shut the door.

The boys both turned and walked down the hall.Winn took a deep breath, a comment lying on the tip of his tongue.

“Don’t —” Mon-El warned.

“I wouldn’t have to say anything if you would just admit you like her.”

“We are not having this conversation, Winn.”

“You know as well as I do that if you don’t accept it soon, you’ll do something stupid and screw it up, right?”Winn watched him carefully, hoping Mon-El would listen to him this time.

“I know.” Mon-El pushed the door open and sat at the edge of his bed, looking conflicted.Winn nodded and dropped the subject.It was enough of an admission for today.

***

Kira closed the door and leaned up against it, her hands pressed to her cheeks.They still felt like they were burning.Everything was blurring together, and she wasn’t sure how to explain exactly what had just happened, but her heart was still racing.She walked into the bathroom to look at herself.She was still put together, no different from when they left besides the deep and furious blush she’d been carrying since Winn interrupted them.

Shaking the memory aside, she pulled the pins from her hair to let her waves fall softly around her face.She unclasped her necklace and placed it on the countertop.Then she made her way into the room to go hunt for her pajamas, unaware of all the dangers that could be waiting for her, a woman alone and in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, we get a different POV... Who do you think?
> 
> Find me on tumblr: karadanversprince and say hi!


	13. The Mighty Kal-El

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No. My heart can't take it anymore! I will see no more girls claiming to be Kara...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for last chapter's cliffhanger, but I gotta make you wait a teensy bit longer for that resolution...

James Olsen had been considering going down to the party all evening.He had dressed for the occasion, and brought his camera just in case.He’d even got Lucy to agree to accompany him — at least, until she got called back to work after hours.

He had countless reasons why he should be downstairs.Winn was supposed to be attending.At least, he’d put Winn on the guest list, so he’d be able to if he and his friends arrived on schedule.But James hadn’t bothered to check if he’d gotten any messages from Winn since before the party began.Because at the same time, he didn’t really feel like interviewing this girl Winn had brought when he was supposed to be enjoying a night off.

Stress was eating at him, and it wasn’t just about work.Work was bad enough, but when his best friend was unhappy, he’d made the decision to help him, despite not knowing what that would mean.Clark was in the office once a week now, only really showing up to drop off any stories for editing.The rest of the time he was working remotely so he could hunt for his cousin in his off time.And the hunt was not going well.And since Superman was off the radar, that meant James was back to life as normal.But so much had changed.He wanted so much more.

As it turned out, helping Superman find Kara was not much different from his daily life, with the exception of the fact that he had spent a considerable amount of his free time for the last week and a half meeting with women who claimed they were Kara Zor-El.It was a challenge in and of itself, since Clark refused to tell him anything about Kara.Nothing he could use to ensure that no imposters made their way to meet Superman.

Still, this week he’d only managed to let _one_ slip by him.She was a twisted woman, and she knew too much.She’d easily fooled James, and yet —Within a few minutes, Superman knew she was not his cousin.He hadn’t spoken to Superman since.Not even to apologize.

James looked at his phone for the first time in hours, to find several texts from Winn, the tones ranging from hopefulness to resignation.He read them each carefully before sending one back.

_Hey, man.I’m sorry I won’t be there tonight.Let’s schedule something._

He waited a few minutes collecting his thoughts before deciding Winn wasn’t the only person he’d been avoiding that he should talk to.He lifted his wrist and pressed a button on his watch, then sat down at the desk behind him to wait.

***

“James,” Superman said, dressed in his suit, as he came through the balcony window.

“Glad to see you’re okay.Thanks for coming.I wasn’t sure if you would.”

“Listen, James.If this is about Kara, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s about that girl I sent your way.I wanted to say I’m sorry, man.I thought she was real.I mean, she _was_ real.She just wasn’t human, and not Kryptonian either,” James said, frustrated.“Maybe if you gave me more to go on I could make sure I’m asking the right questions.”

“James, she didn’t even know my birth name,” Clark said.

“Neither did I.”Clark only nodded.It wasn’t fair to be holding that against him.“But next time, I’m going to ask that.And any other questions it’ll take until we know she’s the real deal.”

Clark’s resolve weakened and he sighed.“Perhaps she truly _is_ lost, Jimmy.Maybe it’s time to admit that I’m the only one left.”

“Clark, you can’t give up.You, of all people, should know how important it is that you keep holding on to hope.”

“When I left my planet, there was no way to know if Kara even followed.”

“And yet you know with certainty that she’s on Earth.Why is that?”

“I’ve been to the DEO, James.I’ve seen the pods.I know they’re out there somewhere.I just have to look harder.”Clark was frustrated, and James knew this whole quest had been eating at him too. 

“Listen, you remember Winn, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“He’s here in Metropolis.And he’s traveling with a girl. _Her_.”Clark furrowed his brows and held a breath.He was deep in thought, debating the possibility that it _was_ her.

“And you _trust_ that Winn is right?”he asked, skeptical.

“You know him, too.Don’t you?Wouldn’t you trust Winn?”

“I don’t want to, in case we are wrong.I can’t put up with another imposter, James.I told you — I would find her on my own.”

“This is the last one.”James held his hand up in surrender.It was a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep, and yet —“I swear.”

“And then _I_ do this _on my own_ — completely.And if I haven't found her, I’ll stop.”James saw it as a win-win.No matter what, Clark would be done with this soon.Hopefully with his cousin by his side.But if not — perhaps he could finally move on.

“Just keep letting me help you.Metropolis needs Superman on their side.And the sooner you find her, the sooner they can have you back.”He knew appealing to Clark’s altruism was a cheap shot, but it was effective.As much as James wanted Clark happy with his family, there was no way that spending all his time in a fruitless search was going to make him any happier.Not when he cared so much about this city and its people.Being Superman made Clark happy.As much as James wanted it to be possible, this was a balancing act no man could ever truly accomplish.One of these days, Clark would need to choose which part of himself was the most important — Clark, Superman, or Kal-El. 

“Very well.But please, for my sake, be thorough.”

James had more questions to ask, but Superman was already gone.He waited and contemplated before sending a text to Winn. 

_I’m free tomorrow, late afternoon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A world of love to lina, AvengingLegendHobo, emilaysjonas, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, and chocoholic_78 for all the lovely comments.
> 
> This is definitely not one of my favorites, but we needed to know how the search is going from the other end. 
> 
> Next chapter is BY FAR my favorite on so many levels, so get excited. Plan is to have it out on Thursday?
> 
> Tumblr is karadanversprince if you want to talk this or all the 2x18 previews {I'm so freaking excited you don't understand.}


	14. In The Dark Of The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the dark of the night... evil will find her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously...  
> "Shaking the memory aside, she pulled the pins from her hair to let her waves fall softly around her face. She unclasped her necklace and placed it on the countertop. Then she made her way into the room to go hunt for her pajamas, unaware of all the dangers that could be waiting for her, a woman alone and in the dark."
> 
> Sorry this update took longer than expected! I had to update a few other things first for my hiatus scheduling. But I am back on track for now.  
> Also, here's how I pictured the necklace... In case you were wondering.  
> https://cdn-img-2.wanelo.com/p/657/a22/cea/9327a45ab87b3978dc4bf51/x354-q80.jpg

Winn rushed into the hotel room only an hour after they left the event, a little drunk and grinning, clutching the bucket of ice he had fetched close to his chest.He held his phone out to Mon-El.

“James is willing to see Kira.Tomorrow afternoon.We did it.”

Mon-El smiled, but shook his head.“Winn, this is just the halfway point.She’s got to be ready.You stay here, I’ll go tell her.”

Winn waved as Mon-El walked out of the room and down the hall two rooms to where Kira was hopefully still awake.When he reached her door he knocked, but she gave no answer.And he was going to turn away when he noticed her heart beat, abnormally slow.And the sound was dull, muffled over by an unfamiliar sound, like something moving through tree leaves.

He took two seconds to prepare himself for the consequences, in case he was wrong, before he kicked in the door.And as it turned out, he should have just acted sooner, because he found Kira lying on the floor in front of the television set, with the red tentacles of a Black Mercy clung tightly around her chest.

“Winn, come here quick,”Mon-El shouted.“And bring the laptop.”

***

“Kara, my dear.You have to come out soon enough.The Daxamites will be arriving any minute.And I know you’ve been waiting a _long_ time to speak to them.”

Kira opened her eyes to find herself sitting in front of a mirror in a sleek blue dress.Her hair was pin straight and sleek.She turned towards the door. 

“Kara, you know I can’t be late.Your father has already been waiting too long.”

“I’m ready.Just a moment.” Kira said, making her way to the door.

“Oh, my daughter, you look stunning,” the woman said when she opened the door.

“Mother?”Kira stared at the woman, dumbstruck.

“Come along.Our guests are waiting.You wouldn’t want to start another war now, would you?”Her mother laughed and took her hand gently as she made her way down the hall.

A man stood at the end of the hallway to escort them down a long set of stairs. 

“Father—” Kira said in awe, “is that really you?”

“Of course it is me.I’m glad you finally graced us with your presence.Your mother was worried you would let your nerves get the best of you and decide never to leave your room.”

“I never doubted you for a _moment_ , my dear,” her mother corrected. 

As they reached the bottom of the staircase, Kira found the foyer filled with a number of distinguished guests, all dancing together, paying little mind to the comings and goings of those around them.

It all seemed so oddly familiar.

***

Winn came flying into the room, nearly knocking into the doorframe as he turned the corner.“Holy heavens, what is _that_?” he asked, panicked.

“Do you have the pod archives on that thing?”Mon-El asked.He didn’t look at Winn or answer his question, trying to assess how long Kira had been under.“Winn?”

“I — of course, I do.”He was still in a confused daze, thinking more slowly than usual.

“Give me anything it’s got on the Black Mercy.”

“That’s a —”Winn pointed, at a loss for words.

“Yes, quick.This is life or death.”Winn sobered at the urgency in Mon-El’s tone. 

“Got it, got it.”Winn started typing. “Telepathic parasite.Life-like hallucinations.Cannot be removed by force.”

“ _Shit_.Okay.What else?”

“Victim must reject their own fantasy life.Mon-El, that’s all I’ve got.”

“There _has_ to be more.”He was growing agitated with this new helplessness.

“I mean if there was a way to enter her consciousness, that would help right?” Winn asked.“But there’s nothing in here to indicate it’s ever been accomplished.” 

“And we don’t have anything we can use to disrupt the dream —”Mon-El looked at her and noticed her necklace was missing.

“Winn, her necklace.You’ve seen it before, right?”Mon-El asked.

“Big emerald on a long gold chain, yeah.” 

“It’s around here somewhere.I need you to find it.” 

Winn jumped up.“Yes, sir — sorry. _Not sir_.I’m on it.” 

***

She found herself dancing with a number of strangers and family friends, taking the opportunity to engage in any conversation where she could make her interests known. 

“You speak so wisely, it’s no wonder you’re destined to be an emissary,” said the man currently dancing with her.

“Hardly destined, sir.It has been my intention for _years_ ,”Kira said with a coy smile.

“Please.Not sir.”

“Then what _do_ I call you — since you are so vehemently opposed to me calling you by your _title_?”Kira could feel herself teasing him, a complete stranger.And yet, it felt as if she knew him well enough to do so.Despite his social rank and her newness to playing in this world of diplomatic graces.

“My name is adequate,” he said with a bow of his head.

Kira smiled and nodded.

“You know, I greatly look forward to working with you in the near future, Kara.That is, so long as you don’t choose to serve another star system.”

“I happen to like ours,” she said, beaming.

“That’s good.Because I think Daxam could really use a mind like yours to turn things around.”She could feel a blush rising.He was charming, certainly.Candid, she wasn’t as sure.She knew there were many more suited to the task.And although she would love to stay close to home, she didn’t know if that would even be an option by the time she finished her training.

“Has anyone told you that you are an absurd flatterer, M—”Kira heard a strange sound and was gripped with a startling anxiety.One that felt horrifyingly familiar.

“Your highness,” a guard behind them whispered.A strange man was wandering into thebuilding, parting the crowd as he made a beeline to Kira’s uncle.

The Prince held tightly to her hand.“Kara, we will escort you back to your mother.”

Kira watched in horror as her uncle fell in front of the invader, and the entire hall erupted in chaos. “Kara, now,” he shouted in urgency.“We must get you to safety.”

She could feel fear gripping her as he led her away, watching as traitorous guards took life after life and the guests scrambled to save themselves. 

The tightening in her chest grew and she fought to breathe. _This can’t be real.It can’t be.It’s only a dream_ , she thought as the people slipped out of sight.

***

“I found the necklace!”Winn shouted, rushing back to them from the bathroom.

“Give it to me.”Mon-El grasped for it, inspecting it carefully.

“What are you going to do?” 

“It’s a long shot.But if there’s even a chance, I’m taking it.”Mon-El unclasped the necklace and placed it around her.He cradled her head and neck, watching her carefully.He listened intently to her heartbeat, scared it would just stop.And for a moment, it slowed to the point where he’d lost hope.

“Dammit Kira, come back to me.”

The two men sat still, hardly breathing as they waited for any response.

Then, suddenly, the Black Mercy began to move, releasing her from its vice-like grip and crawling into the corner.Winn watched in horror as the creature turned gray and shriveled as it made a home for itself underneath the bed.He tried not to think about someone coming across the thing.He’d try to remember to dispose of it.

Mon-El was still holding Kira, waiting for her to stir.

“Come on, Kira.Wake up.”His voice was as unsteady as he felt.

Like his words had broken the spell, Kira sat up quickly.She was breathing so deeply and so quickly that she was on the verge of hyperventilation. 

***

In the first few moments after waking up, Kira had trouble realizing it was all actually a dream.The faces running around her, screaming, were still impressed upon the back of her eyelids, and she wasn’t sure if she was breathing, but it sure didn’t feel like she was.

Then she felt two hands on her face and she focused her eyes to see Mon-El, watching her carefully.She kept her eyes trained on him, holding on.Because she needed something stable.Something she could trust, to remind her that this was _real_. And right now, he was real and he was there.Right where she needed him to be. 

“Kira, listen to me.You are _okay_.” Mon-El moved his thumb across her cheek as she spoke and she found herself closing her eyes, forgetting the horrors behind her lids for a moment.

“I keep seeing faces.So many faces.”Her voice cracked, and she fell apart.She leaned forward, collapsing into his arms.As she began to cry, Mon-El wrapped a hand around her back and head, cradling her.

Something in him snapped as she settled herself into him, curling up and breaking down.He felt out of place in his own body as he held her, scared he’d do something wrong and make her feel worse.Slowly and tentatively, he ran his hand through her hair, stroking her gently as he hummed and hushed her.There was a stirring in his chest, and he felt his heartbeat growing erratic.

“It was a nightmare — You’re safe now.”She shook against his chest and he held her tighter.Mon-El looked up to see Winn watching him in shock.His friend raised an eyebrow then shook it off.Mon-El pointed at the bed and Winn remembered he’d need to get the Black Mercy out of there before Kira noticed.Winn gave him a thumbs up and shut his laptop.

Mon-El continued to stroke Kira’s hair, rocking back and forth until she calmed and the dream became an afterthought.He breathed a sigh of relief that she was safe.That somehow it had worked out.It took a long while until she’d fallen out of her deeper anxieties and steadied her breathing. 

Winn left the room with a gentle click of the door, but it was enough to break Kira out of her thoughts.She leaned back to look at the door and then back at Mon-El.Then, suddenly she had returned to reality.

“I’m okay now.” Kira said.“You don’t have to stay here on my account.”

“Kira, I’m not leaving you here alone.”He admonished. 

“It was just a nightmare.Besides, I can protect myself,” Kira insisted.“I’ll be okay.”

“It’s part of my job to protect you, so just let me do that.”He didn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t just a nightmare.It was something far more sinister.And he didn’t like the risk this posed.He didn’t want to leave her side.

Kira crossed her arms, as if waiting for his insistency to break.But he had no intention to.So she grabbed a pillow from off her bed and tossed it to him.

“Fine.Just — you can take the couch.”

***

Half an hour after they settled down to sleep, both were still wide awake.Initially, Kira wasn’t sure if her tossing and turning was because she didn’t want to have the nightmare return or if it was just because she was uncomfortable with having Mon-El in this proximity.When he spoke, the soothing tone of his voice assured her it was the former.

“Kira, tell me about that necklace of yours.Where’d you get it?” 

Kira didn’t have a good answer, but she thought back as far as she could, to the early days in the Danvers’ home, trying to adjust to her life as it was then, feeling so hopelessly lost.It had felt like her anchor then, too.So she knew it was part of her life before then. 

“I’ve had it as long as I can remember.”

“Do you ever take it off?”Mon-El asked.

“Only when I’m sleeping.”

“Why do you wear it so much?”She supposed that was a normal enough question.Mon-El didn’t seem like the sentimental or materialistic type.At least, that was what she gleaned from him thus far.

“I don’t know. _Whatever_ my past may be, I know it’s a part of it.What part, I don’t know.Plus, it makes me feel —”She hesitated, unsure of how to describe the sensation. “I don’t know.Heavy?Sometimes I just feel like I’m floating and it keeps me grounded.”He hummed in response, and they both sat staring at the ceiling for a few minutes. 

“Kira, can I make a suggestion?” Mon-El asked.

“Feel free,” Kira sighed. 

“I think maybe it might make you feel better to keep it on tonight.To help fight off the bad dreams.”

And maybe it was the soft whisper of his voice echoing through the room, or the anxiety building within her, but she sat up and clasped the necklace around her neck.A deep breath whooshed out of her, and she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders.And she was _exhausted_ — suddenly and unyieldingly.She settled back into her pillows and fell fast asleep.

***

Non had to admire the man’s dedication to his niece’s well-being.But it was troublesome nonetheless.He would have to end him as well, if he continued to be a problem. 

As it was, he would have to kill Kara himself, in person.And that meant the time to strike was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunflower_Nation, chocaholic_78, thoroughlytrash, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Lina, AvengingLegendHobo, and neumann thank you for all the AMAZING comments since last chapter. I love y'all so much.
> 
> As always: I'm on tumblr as karadanversprince and I'd love to hear from you.


	15. Meeting Mr. Olsen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Metropolis holds the key to her past. Yes, Kara, I found you at last…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY Y'ALL ... we're gonna see a bit of the necklace over the course of the next few chapters, and Sunflower_Nation was an angel and fixed up a picture of how I picture the necklace to make it EXACTLY my vision, so if you want to see, you can find it here: https://karadanversprince.tumblr.com/post/160354316186/sweet-karamel-so-i-made-this-edit-for-the
> 
> (It's really important and meaningful for the both of us, and she made it perfect, so please, check it out <3)  
> ___
> 
> This chapter goes out to two really incredible people who I've been blessed with and who helped keep me focused, motivated, and emotionally stable through some really tough weeks. 
> 
> Juliakaze: Thank you for the incredible art you've made for this story. It's always been a dream of mine, and getting to see you interacting with MY story like this is surreal and incredible. And beyond that, you've been an incredible friend and I am so grateful. Love you!  
> Y'all can see the aesthetic she made here: https://karadanversprince.tumblr.com/post/160129978351/juliakaze-karamel-aesthetic-for-anastasia-au
> 
> Sunflower_Nation: Thank you for being my partner in writing, and being the greatest friend a girl could ask for. I don't know how I would have managed this past week without you and I love you so so much. Your support and love is everything and I cannot begin to explain how much I appreciate you. But I know I'm lucky beyond words. 
> 
> To everyone else: Thank you for your patience and support. It's been a tough time for me, but I'm getting back into the swing of things. The next chapter will come WAY sooner. I promise.  
> And please don't hate me for the end of this chapter. It'll be worth it, I swear.

Kira couldn’t remember the last time she had slept so peacefully.She woke slowly and with more force than she thought she’d ever need to.Everything felt hazy and heavy.Never before had she felt so lethargic, and she didn’t understand why.

She pushed herself up and looked around, reorienting herself.She momentarily forgot about the man sleeping in her room until she saw him, laying on the couch, propped up against the arm, facing away from her.He was awake now and deeply invested in a book, flipping the page with a tentative slide.She didn’t want to interrupt him.

“Mike!Good morning,” she said through a yawn, trying to regain her energy for the day.

“Morning,” he replied, leaning his head back over the arm of the couch to look at her upside down.“Sleep well?”

Kira groaned, gripping her head, which felt achy and heavy still.“I think so?”

“Good.You’ve got a big day ahead,” Mon-El said, placing his book face down on the couch in front of him and sitting up.“James says he’ll see you this afternoon.That is, if you still want this.”

Kira let out a forceful sigh, trying to shake off the veil of sleep still calling her.“Yeah, I do.”Suddenly, her eyes sprung wide open.“Wait today?Like, in a few hours?”

“Yeah.Maybe at four?We were planning on going before dinner.At least, that’s what Winn and James were talking about.”

“What time is it?” 

“Quarter past one?”

“And at no point you thought ‘Maybe I should wake Kira up and tell her today’s the day?’”Kara jumped out of bed and started pulling things out of her suitcase.“I mean seriously, Mike?You have to give a girl some time to prepare.I’m not even sure I’m ready for this.”

“Well, I am sure.So get dressed and let’s all get lunch.You need to get your mind off this before you talk yourself out of it.”

“I —”Kira looked at him, smiling at her from his place on the couch.She knew he was probably right, but it still unnerved her that knew her well enough to come to that conclusion.“Fine.We’ll get lunch.But you’re going to have to quiz me again.”

“Whatever you say, Danvers.”His smile looked the way his laugh sounded.Unhindered.Bold.Genuine.There was something comforting about it.Something incredibly satisfying about getting to experience it again.Like she’d been trying to remember exactly how it looked — how it sounded — her whole life.

She looked away, deciding she should get a grip and start getting ready.

*** 

As they walked from the car to the door of James’s apartment, Kira grew increasingly nervous.She slowed down, looking overwhelmed and dazed.

“Mike, what if I can’t do this?”The panic rising in her voice had Mon-El dropping every wall and rushing to her side.He didn’t understand exactly why he felt so driven to protect her at all costs, but he did.And perhaps it was a matter of his feelings — the ones he kept trying to ignore — but he wanted to make sure she was okay.To be by her side.It was new and frightening.

Mon-El strode quickly into step alongside her and placed a hand against her arm.“Hey hey hey.Breathe.You’re okay.”Kira stopped walking and turned to him.

“A few days ago, I was just trying to get an interview with Superman.Now, I’m trying to remember a lifetime of information in the hope that I am who we say I am.How is that okay?”

“You are going to be fine.Alright?You have me.I’m going to make sure you get through this.”Kira was frozen in place, steadying her breathing.She clutched at her neck and sternum trying to self-soothe.

“Kira, look at me,”Mon-El said, whispering.Kira turned towards him, her eyes deep and blue, having grown brighter with the threat of tears, looking anywhere but at him.He put a hand on each of her shoulders, arms fully extended to get a better look at her, and waited for her stare.When she finally looked him in the eyes, he crumbled.Kira reached for his hands, gripping for dear life.He cleared his throat and continued.“You can do this.Just forget about everything you think you don’t know.You _are_ Kara, and you _will_ be fine.Believing is more than half the work.”

He tapped his thumbs as he watched her.Kira began to nod, slowly at first, than aggressively.“Okay.Okay.”She repeated.She forced out a smile. 

At her confirmation, Mon-El hesitantly let go of her.Kira righted herself and attempted to regain her composure.She ran the pad of a finger under each eye, checking for any fallen tears and, finding none, smiled as brightly as she could muster.Still — she felt off.She ran her fingers through her hair and fussed with her dress for a minute.

“How do I look?”She asked, turning back to Mon-El.

“Absolutely beautiful.”

She was visibly flustered by his tone — airy and serious, like he had been caught saying something when he wasn’t even aware of having spoken.The epitome of a thought escaping with a breath.

“I — umm,” Kara mumbled, her hand returning to her collarbone.She took a deep steadying breath. “Thank you.”

She suddenly grasped her necklace, feeling the smooth pendant and flipped it over.The gold backing was cool to the touch and smooth.She let if fall back in place, and — she was sure she imagined it — but it felt like the stone stung her.Ridiculous.Still, she felt like the thing was choking her.She reached up to the clasp and unhooked the ring.She gripped her necklace tightly as she took it off — the first time she’d done so in daylight so far as she could remember.Then suddenly, it was like she could breathe again.The panic slipped aside. 

She went to put the necklace in a pocket before she realized her dress had none.She gazed at the necklace for several long moments, then held it out to Mon-El.

“Can you hold this for me?” She asked, looking a little nervous — almost shyly — at him.

“I — of course,” he said, taking it from her and holding the necklace gingerly. “Are you sure?You don’t need it for good luck or something?”

“Why would I?” Kira asked, then she beamed — giving him a real, genuine, Earth-turning smile.“I have you.”

He swore that was the moment his heart stopped.Kira turned away from him and back to the door, taking a few steps before he snapped out of his daze.He looked at the necklace carefully, seeing the vein of deep and vivid green zigzagging down the middle, shining though like a lightning bolt in the midnight sky.He’d never noticed before how peculiar the stone really was, having only held it twice now.And he had been too occupied with trying to keep her alive last time to pay any notice.Now, he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Hey, are you going to follow her or what?”He heard Winn whisper as he locked the car behind him.Mon-El shook himself out of that daze again and placed the necklace in his pocket.

“Right, okay.Let’s get this over with,”Mon-El whispered back, walking quickly to catch up with Kira.

***

Winn was the one who stepped forward and knocked on the door.It was only right, considering how he was the only one who actua-p;lly knew James in the first place.After a long pause, marked by shuffling of feet and a stillness Kira could feel in her bones, James Olsen opened the door, with bright eyes and an immediate spark of recognition.

“Winn, my man.You said you were — but I still can’t believe you’re here.Work finally gave you a day off?” James asked, embracing his friend.

“Sort of took it off myself.I needed a break,”Winn said.Mon-El’s smile grew wider.Sure, Winn had been on a bit of a break, but he was still working.The DEO was generous with many things, but time was never one of them.

“Well these must be the friends you mentioned.Kara, right?” James extended his hand to Kira.

“That’s me,” Kira said, shaking his hand with more enthusiasm than necessary.Mon-El felt a spark — was that jealousy? — when he noticed the awestruck expression on Kira’s face.

“She goes by Kira on this planet,” Winn offered. 

“Either name is fine with me,” she insisted, blushing.

“And you’ll have to remind me your name,” he said, turning to Mon-El.

“Mike.Mike Matthews.”

“Alright, well.Mike, Kara, Winn — come on in and sit down.We can get the real business out of the way and then we can catch up.”

Kira reached for Mon-El’s hand as they stepped through the doorway.He laced his fingers with hers and gave her a reassuring squeeze as they followed Winn and James, only letting their hands fall apart when they went to sit, Kira and Winn on the couch across from James, and Mon-El in a corner seat behind her, closer to the door. 

***

If he was being completely honest, Mon-El zoned out early in the interview, which was a relief, because watching her piecing together her answers made him incredibly nervous.She was blossoming before his eyes, answering every answer with clarity and confidence, without coming across like she’d rehearsed these exact words.It was as if somehow between the door and the couch, he’d siphoned off all of her anxieties and taken them as his own — meanwhile she was as free as a bird.

And yes, he tuned out the words, but he was still watching her, easily picturing her expression from the way she bounced around.She seemed so happy.And not in the slightest bit concerned.

He found himself drawn back into the conversation when he noticed a stark change in James’s body language.

“One more question,” James said, leaning forward conspiratorially.“And I hope you don’t feel it is too personal of a question.How _did_ you escape Non’s attack?Superman refuses to tell me what he remembers, and he was so young.”

Mon-El froze in panic.He hadn’t thought — _oh but he should have_ — that this would ever come up.He taught her everything he could.But he hadn’t wanted to tell her about the death of Krypton.About the escape.It was personal.And how could he ever try to explain how he knew about it without revealing himself?He’d left her stranded, completely jeopardizing their one chance to get this right.To get to Superman.All because he wasn’t willing to tell her the full truth about himself. 

Winn turned to Mon-El, and the two exchanged a glance that showed the other that they were thinking the same thing. _Why didn’t we warn her?_.Of course, Winn didn’t know the full story, but if he knew where to look in the pods’ archives, he might have been able to find something to guide her.Even if she had to fabricate some convoluted story to throw James off.

Kira took a deep breath, and Mon-El could feel his blood freezing, stopping him from doing anything.And as he slipped into a panic, Kira spoke.

“It’s so blurry.There was…a basement.My mother, she took us there, all of us.Even the ones who didn’t make it out alive.And there was a man, he placed us in our pods and sent us away.” Kira reached for her necklace, then let her hand fall as she looked down and remembered it wasn’t in her possession. “Pardon me.How silly that seems.” 

Kira’s eyes returned to James, until a shuffling behind her revealed Mon-El silently excusing himself to wait outside.James, however, paid no mind.

“That has been the question that haunted me since Superman first told me about his past.I appreciate you sharing it with me, Kara.”

Mon-El shut the door behind him with little regard to the noise he was making.Kira flinched, but kept her smile in place.She wasn’t sure what she’d done to make him leave so suddenly.Perhaps her answer had offended him, since they hadn’t prepared it together.She didn’t know where it had come from, only that it felt right, and she could almost see it.The woman from her dream — her mother.And a man who wouldn’t look her in the eyes as he sent her into an uncertain future.

_Did Mon-El hate her? —_ James interrupted her thoughts with a comment directed at Winn.

“Winn, I don’t know how you found Kara, but I’m glad you did.Her cousin will be happy to hear the news.And hopefully I can still get him to come to meet with you.As long as you’ll be in town for a little longer.”

“Mr. Olsen, I’m here to reunite with my cousin after all the time we’ve been forced apart.A few days won’t change that.” Kira was smiling, eagerly, until she remembered that Mon-El was still outside.She glanced out the window behind her and saw him pacing.That made her even more concerned that she upset him.And she couldn’t sit around waiting for him to settle down.So she excused herself as politely as she could, and walked outside to apologize.Or talk through it.Or fight — she’d even take a fight as long as it stopped whatever he was doing. 

But when she reached the door, he looked up at her with something like hope — or maybe relief — in his eyes.And she was just desperate to share her excitement with him.

***

Mon-El was pacing outside the apartment, glancing between the ground and the slightly tinted windows, trying to see exactly what was going on in there.It was taking everything in him to not listen in with his super hearing.It felt like an invasion of privacy. 

But he was panicking.Because he hadn’t told her.He hadn’t mentioned anything about helping her escape or how they managed it.As far as he knew, she’d only been told about the pods themselves.And those were obvious details.But everything else — that was all her.And it wasn’t like she could make up something like that.Which meant two things.

First, Kira Danvers _was_ Kara Zor-El.And through some mercy of the gods, they’d been brought together again.She was the real deal — and the entire universe had conspired to get her back in his path — to let him fulfill his oath to Alura.

Second, she remembered.Even if only some small part of her and for only a moment, Kara remembered.Him — the celebration — her mother.What exactly she remembered didn’t matter.Just that she _did._

He shoved his hand hastily in his pocket, touching the necklace. _It couldn’t — could it?_

Mon-El snapped out of his thoughts to see Kara standing in front of the door, concern painted across her features.He couldn’t help softening at the sight of her.She smiled at him after a beat and ran towards him.

“I did it. I did it!!”Kira exclaimed as she drew closer to him.

“I knew you could,” he muttered, only soft enough for her to hear.

Kira jumped, wrapping her arms tightly around the back his neck.He pulled against her back to keep her in the air.

And he was so ecstatic.She hadn’t just pulled it off brilliantly.She was Kara.She was actually Kara.There was no shadow of a doubt in his mind now.He had found her.After all this time and everything he’d done, he found her.No — _she_ found _him_.And neither of them had known.He was so relieved.So he held onto her tightly, thanking Rao for putting her back in his path, for giving him the chance to guard over her.

And he was overwhelmed.Sure, he’d considered just how alike Kira and Kara actually were.But knowing with certainty, that she was — relief and a slew of feelings he was unfamiliar with clouded everything else.

By the time her feet were back on the ground, she had pulled back from him, just slightly, but she was still clinging to him and pulling him forward to keep him at her level.And with judgment clouded and a mind overwhelmed with the resounding thought of ‘ _it’s her_ ,’ he held his whole world in his hands.

He kissed her without considering the consequences.And his first thought _should_ have been how big of a mistake he was making, but instead he thought about how right it felt.How much they made sense, right then.She broke her hands from the deadlock around his neck to grab desperately at the sides of his face, gripping his hair with one and grazing his jawline with delicate fingers as she tried to keep him at a good angle.

And she couldn’t breathe or think.All she knew was that maybe he did actually like her.Because five minutes ago, when he rushed out, she thought he was disappointed.Or that he hated her.They’d fought enough that the thought was still strong in her mind.But he kissed her, and they way he ran his hands through her hair and down her back and pulled her towards him made her think it was something different.They were insistent.Inseparable.Inevitable.

She let out the slightest moan against his lips, and a panic set through him.His hand flew to where hers rested on his face.Intertwining her fingers with his, he pried them away from him and broke the kiss.Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out her necklace, slipping it into her grip.Kara stared at him, dazed and confused.

“Mon-El,” she began as he stepped completely out of her grasp, her hands falling to her sides.She felt dizzy and weak all of a sudden. 

Hearing her say his name — for the first time — only increased his panic.He couldn’t stay here, couldn’t talk now.Everything was happening all at once.And as much as he wanted to stay and wanted to talk with her, he was scared shitless about what that would mean for them.For him.Because Kira was just his ticket out.Until he found Kara.And now that he had… there was nothing left for him to do.

“I’m sorry.”He turned and walked away as quickly as he could — not sparing a glance at the girl standing behind, one hand pressed to her lips, watching his retreating figure, stunned.

***

From his spot by the window, Winn could see the entire exchange.He hadn’t meant to be watching, but James had gone silent in the wake of Kira’s absence.And maybe his gaze followed Kira as she walked out gracefully, then broke into a run to meet Mon-El the moment she crossed the threshold.

He smiled at the sight of the two of them hugging, glad they could have this moment for themselves.But then they were kissing, and Winn’s concern grew.Because he knew, he just _knew_ , that Mon-El still hadn’t come to terms with his feelings yet.And if he was right — Mon-El was about to make a big mistake.And Kira would inevitably get hurt.And sure enough —

“Shoot,” he muttered as he watched Mon-El walk away.

“Everything okay?” James asked.

“My friend, Mike — He’s got a thing for Kara.I told him not to be an idiot about it and screw it up, and yet —”

“He’s being an idiot?”

“Exactly.But that’s _his_ issue to deal with.And mine, too… eventually, I guess.”Winn turned back from the window. “So are you going to make that call?”

“Superman doesn’t want to see another girl pretending to be Kara.He can’t take it anymore,”James admitted.Winn’s face fell, drawing what that might mean for Kira and Mon-El. 

“James, you know she’s the one.You see that, right?”

“Only he would know for sure.It wouldn't be the first time I was wrong.”

“Let her talk to him.He’ll see right away. She’s just trying to reunite with her family.What’s left of it anyway.”Winn felt a pang of guilt, both for dragging Kira and Mon-El into this mess and for James.If he had doubted even once that this plan wouldn’t work, he wouldn’t have let it happen.And Mon-El seemed so sure it would work too, that Kira would be the right one for the job and they could pull it off without harming anyone.But perhaps this was where their luck ran out.

“Fine.Okay.I’ll make the call.But you better not make me regret this.”

“You won’t.How about you go call and I will talk to Kara and we can all go for dinner and some drinks?”

“You’re getting first round.”

“How did I know you’d say that?”Winn asked.James laughed at his mock indignation. 

“It’s good to have you back, man.Even if just for a visit.I missed this.”

“Me too.”

A clicking alerted the two men to Kira’s return.She looked flustered, but tried to hide it as best she could.“Mike, he uh — he had to go,” she forced out.Winn felt a deep empathy for her.Mon-El wasn’t good at sharing with anyone.Not even him, even after two years of friendship.

“Well, I hope you’ll still be able to join Winn and I for dinner.If you’ll excuse me,” James said, standing up and lowering his head before walking down the hall.

“Hey, umm.Kira.Are you okay?” Winn asked, hesitantly.Kira was glancing at her hands, resting open in her lap, oblivious to the world around her.But at Winn’s words, she snapped up and fixed a smile on her face, forced as it was.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, panic sounding from behind her smile.Her eyes told another conflicting story.

“It’s just… you and Mon-El.He’s — not very good with, you know, feelings?In general?Where he’s from it’s not really something they paid attention to.”

“Where he’s from?”Winn’s eyes widened. He immediately changed the subject.

“I’m sure he’s just going to need to collect his thoughts.It’s not your fault.He just needs his space sometimes.I’ll tell him where we are going.He’ll be able to meet up with us later.”

“Alright.”

“Do you want to talk a—”

“Nope,” Kira said quickly, pressing her lips together tightly.She recoiled at her abruptness. “Sorry, I’m just trying not to think about it.”

Winn nodded, noticing her rising blush and the way she bit her lip and picked at her nails.If it wasn’t for how miserable Mon-El had managed to make Kira, he might have found it charming.But right now?He wished he was strong enough to knock some sense into that Daxamite — before he completely ruined his chances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO THESE LOVELIES: lina, Jko, chocaholic_78, blacksoulwithredsoles, thoroughlytrash, AvengingLegendHobo, neumann, Tamara Kemper, emilaysjonas, Sunflower_Nation, Karamello, amber, reversetheuniverse, Juliakaze, Katie, and LILYpadsROX.
> 
> Thank you times infinity for all the wonderful comments and love on the last chapter. I know it was a long wait for this chapter, but you all got me through a rough couple weeks and kept me sane, so thank you for taking the time to comment and make my day. You all blow me away with the love and support and it means the entire world to me. Love you all forever.


	16. The Key To Her Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more pretend. You'll be gone, that's the end...

Once he was out of Kara’s view, Mon-El ran.As far as he could make himself.He was halfway across the city when he felt his phone buzz and he finally slowed to a stop.Winn was texting him already — a bad sign.

**You should probably talk with her… I don’t want to say I told you so, but… I told you so.**

Mon-El sighed, watching as a bubble with three dots animated across the screen for a few moments.There was Winn’s voice in the back of his mind, berating him about not doing anything stupid.He was pretty sure kissing Kara and then just walking away would qualify as something _incredibly_ stupid.

**I’m sending you a location.We’re getting food and a drink or two with James.You WILL show up and talk to me —and her — whether you like it or not.**

**Or else?**

**Or else I’m calling J’onn.**

Mon-El rolled his eyes.J’onn wasn’t as scary anymore.Not now that he knew he’d found Kara and that she was okay.It didn’t matter what happened from here.Not really.

**Ooh so scary, Winn.I’m terrified.**

**Shut up.You’re going to do this or you’ll regret walking away.**

**I just need a little time.**

**We’ll be there starting at 7.If you haven’t shown up, I’m gonna call.And if you aren’t on your way, I _will_ track you down.Whatever I have to do.**

**Look at you being all brave and relentless.**

**Someone has to be, Mon-El.See you in an hour and a half.Or else.**

**Fine.**

He shoved his phone back into his pocket, more than a little annoyed.

*** 

The first thing he noticed, walking through the door, was Kara — laughing and speaking softly with James.She’d put the necklace back on.He wasn’t sure if that was what he had hoped she would do or not.There was something about it that affected her.He just didn’t fully understand what.And what’s worse — he wasn’t sure if she’d fully understand the truth if she held onto it.

Winn was the first to notice him walk in, rising from his seat and gesturing towards the bar.He moved in silence, almost afraid of her noticing.She looked happy and at ease.He knew that would change the moment she laid eyes on him.He was doing what he could to prolong the inevitable.

“Drinks first,”Mon-El said, as he sat down.He was expecting a full interrogation from his friend, but Winn only nodded and caught the bartender’s attention.Once they’d gotten their drinks, Winn took a hesitant breath.

“Hey, man.You look stressed.”Winn began.Mon-El scoffed.“You don’t need to worry — It’s going to be just fine.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, Winn,” he muttered, raising the glass to his lips.

Winn glanced over at Kira, who was still caught in rapt attention.“I mean, I know she’s _just like her_.Worrying…it’s understandable, but you can trust her. She won’t let you down.She cares about all of this as much as you —”

“She _is_ Kara Zor-El.” Mon-El’s words were much harsher than he intended, but Winn didn’t notice, still watching Kira deep in discussion with his friend.

“Isn’t she?She was magnificent. _I_ almost believed it.”He turned back to Mon-El, smiling.But Mon-El didn’t share the same comfort in Winn’s sentiments.

“No, Winn.She _is_ Kara.I was the man who put her in the pod.She’s the real deal.”He leaned back and stared at the ceiling, willing himself into a state of relative calmness.He knew he would have to come clean to his friend, to Kara, and possibly to the entire DEO.But he’d carried the secrets long enough and, besides the part of him begging to keep it quiet, he wanted to be able to share it.If only with a friend he could trust.

“Oh.Oh wow.Well actually, you know, considering the train and the Black Mercy that actually… makes a whole lot of sense.I can’t believe we didn’t see this sooner.”Winn stared into his drink as if it was the center of a spinning room and everything would revolve around it.As it was, the thought was dizzying enough… Soft and sweet Kira Danvers, normal in every sense imaginable, was an _alien?_ Shouldn’t someone have noticed before?Wouldn’t Alex have figured it out by now?

Mon-El looked back down and took a long sip of his beer, only acknowledging the gravity of Winn’s words with a nod.

“So Kira found her family,” Winn finally concluded.

“Her family is gone.Except for Superman,” Mon-El replied.“But yes.She found what she’s been looking for.”

“And you?”Mon-El glanced over at her, for just a moment.And as he did, he caught her gaze.There was something indecipherable there, amid the hurt and irritation he’d learned to pick out of her glances in the past few days. 

“I will walk away.My mission was to ensure their safe arrival and adjustment to life on a new planet.And that is done.I’ve done as I promised.”He didn’t know fully what Alura expected of him, and now that she was gone, there was no clarifying what exactly she’d have him do.But Kal-El and Kara were adults now, and they could take care of themselves.He felt hopeless the last two years, being of no use to them.But now… Now he could return them to each other — could reunite what was left of their people.Surely, Alura would have wanted that at the least.

“Mission?What are you talking about?” Winn asked

“I promised Kara’s mother when Krypton fell that I would keep her and Kal-El safe.”Winn’s eyes widened, and Mon-El finished off his drink.He raised his hand to order another as he prepared from the oncoming storm of information he’d have to pass along.

“Wait.Why were you on Krypton in the first place?Why weren’t you on Daxam?”

“Diplomatic mission.”

“You’re — the prince.”There was a question infused in there somewhere.And the uncertainty in Winn’s delivery left Mon-El wondering if Alex really knew who he was, like he suspected — because she certainly wasn’t sharing that information if she did.

“Was.Past tense.”The bartender came by with another drink, which Mon-El took gratefully.

“And all this time you’ve been looking for Kara?”

“I needed to know she was safe,” he said, speaking softly into his glass.

“And now that you found her you’re just going to…walk away?What about you and Kira?”Winn was dumbfounded.

“Kryptonians don’t associate with Daxamites.It just doesn’t happen.”

“But Krypton and Daxam are gone,” Winn argued.

“The moment I tell her who I am, she’ll want nothing to do with me.”

“You can’t honestly believe that.”

“You don’t understand, Winn.Our planets… they weren’t ever at peace.”

“But they called a truce, didn’t they?”Mon-El sighed.The truce — if one could call it that — had been his greatest accomplishment at the time of his departure from his star system.It had been the culmination of all of his political training, and the effort of two years of fruitless negotiations by his father’s side and one on his own.And even then, it was not what he had hoped it would be.

“I had to fight with everything I had to make that happen.And even then it didn’t save anyone.We were too busy fighting each other when we could have been putting our strength to good use.We could have stopped Krypton from dying.We could have found a way.”

“At least you _tried_ to do something.”Winn’s positivity was grating on his nerves.

“It didn’t change anything.Our people weren’t any better for it,” Mon-El snapped.

“ _She’s_ better — she’s safe.A Daxamite entrusted with the lives of Kryptonian children?That wouldn’t have happened before the truce, would it?”

“Perhaps not.”

“No man can save — or even change — an entire planet.But you did something.She _will_ see that.”

“She will see only what she’s looking for.”He knew well enough — she would want a home.Her family.She had neither time nor energy for anything that stood between herself and the life she dreamed of.

“And what if what she’s looking for includes you?”

Mon-El tensed up.It was wishful thinking.Silly and pathetic.Of course he cared for Kara — immensely so.Still, no part of him could reasonably imagine a life for her that included him.And he — he stopped imagining what his future would be when he stopped getting a say in what would happen.

“She’s only looking for a story,” he said, dejectedly.

“A Kryptonian dignitary — an El, no less — falling for a Daxamite?And a prince, at that.Sounds like quite a story to me.”

“A fairytale, you mean,” Mon-El mumbled.Winn rolled his eyes and took a breath.

“Not all great stories are magical and mystical like fairytales.Sometimes they’re about two people finding each other, despite all the odds standing between them.”

“I don’t think that’s the story she’s hoping for.”

“Then why don’t you ask her what is?”

Mon-El didn’t know what to do with that, but still, he took his drink and followed Winn to their table.

***

Kira was annoyed.She knew that for sure. 

The rest of her emotions were a jumbled and unclear mess.But she knew she was annoyed, and it was only partially because he’d been the one to make her so confused.The bigger and more painful part was screaming that she _let_ herself feel this way.She could have just passed it off as being nothing, like Mon-El kissing her was just something that happened and she didn’t need to concern herself with dealing with it.But she wanted to talk about it.She wanted to confront the problem head on and settle her emotions and get over it. 

And yet, when he showed up at the bar, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything.Instead, she kept herself occupied talking to James about whatever she could.Mostly about Superman.And Mon-El made no attempt to explain.He kept to himself and whatever drink he was nursing, a new one appearing every few times she glanced over at him.He talked with Winn at the bar most of the time, running his fingers through his hair and keeping his head down.She wished she had better hearing or could read lips or something.But from the look on Winn’s face, and the way Winn kept looking over at her, she could guess. 

And when he and Winn joined them at the table, he made no attempts to talk with her.As the night dragged on, she bounced between hurt, anger, and hope, waiting on a word from him to silence her rapidly beating heart and resolve her feelings once and for all.But the word never came.  
He didn't exactly act like she wasn’t there.He still nodded, listening to her tell stories and laughing at her jokes, but nothing passed between them.No secret glances, or quiet words, or anything unmistakably private.Everything was for the sake of the group’s conversation.Beyond that he was more reserved than she’d seen him be before.They seemed somewhere between acting like nothing had happened and realizing that too much had changed to ever go back to the way they’d been before.

So, she wasn’t exactly shocked when he led the way to her room upon returning to the hotel.Because even after tonight, he still planned to keep watch over her.She just didn’t know how to deal with that.Because he’d left her confused and maybe a little hurt.Or a lot hurt. 

She was quick to change into her pajamas in privacy, and when she was done, she moved to her bed with focus, acting as unfazed as possible.

Mon-El was laying on the couch, still dressed, the blanket by his feet, his eyes closed.Kira took a deep breath.

“Mon-El, are we going to talk about what happened?”

“There is nothing to talk about.”Kira could feel her heart dropping into her stomach, feeling like something was dragging her down to the bottom of the ocean and she couldn't pull herself free.Like there were weights on her ankles and chest.

“But I—” she forced a breath out as she steadied her thoughts.“Alright fine.”

 

Mon-El set his jaw tightly.He felt like his heart would stop if he heard her speak his name one more time.He had a deep sinking feeling, as if something he should be dreading was waiting to come crashing over him. 

He never should have told her.There were a few things he shouldn’t have done.Things that would make all of this easier.Safer.Painless.Instead, he was paralyzed, staring at the ceiling, listening to her breathing, willing sleep to come ease him out of reality, for a brief reprieve.

They both laid across the room from each other, neither able to sleep and neither willing to say anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thank yous to jeymien, emilaysjonas, neumann, moongrim, Juliakaze, Crystalhatter, AvengingLegendHobo, tess, and katie for all your patience and kind comments this week. It was really rough week fpr me, but your comments brightened my days and reminded me why I write. I love getting to share this story with you. So much.
> 
> And hello and thank you to JasmineRosalie for commenting on like every chapter this week. I loved getting to watch you reacting to the story so far in real time. I was on the edge of my seat, watching the comments come in, dying with your reactions. You kept my motivation up this week and got me focused on getting this chapter out. So thank you for that <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr at: karadanversprince.tumblr.com


	17. Truth, Justice, and the American Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you've been hurt. But it's just possible that she's been as lost and alone as you.

The next morning, Kira woke up less irritated than she was when she went to bed.Instead, all of her frustration at Mon-El was channeled into a new feeling — Impending dread.Because today was going to change her life forever.Today, she was going to meet Superman.THE Superman.She was going to get the best exclusive CatCo had ever seen and she’d earn her place as a reporter and finally be what she’d always dreamed of.And it all started with this moment, washed in dread, because she could easily screw it up.

She jumped out of bed, feeling the need to distract herself and deciding that getting ready was the best way to do that.At the sound of her shuffling, Mon-El started to stir.He rose from the couch, a little groggy.She stifled a laugh at the sight of him.Some of his hair, which was normally neat and off of his face, fell in front of his forehead, just grazing the eyelashes on his right eye.The hair on the left side of his head had waved unnaturally from resting on his pillow.And he looked so young, despite all the years that his exhaustion had marked against his handsome face.He looked innocent and hopeful and at peace.And suddenly, like air being knocked out of her, she caught sight of something.She wasn’t sure what.Perhaps she had imagined it.But it felt like there was something there she was missing.Something she _almost_ remembered.Or perhaps it was just her imagination. 

She grabbed her necklace off of the bedside table and put it on without a second thought, settling into her morning routine like this was any day.

 

Mon-El decided to read until Kara got out of the shower.And even that made it hard to distract himself from his thoughts.Because last night, he had had no intention of actually talking to her about everything.But now?It was like, somehow, in his sleeplessness, Winn’s words finally made it through his thick skull and now he was taking all that advice to heart. 

Yes, there was always the chance that Kara really didn’t want to have anything to do with him, but if he just assumed that was the case, he could be missing out on knowing the truth.And he messed up.He really did.But he wanted to talk.He was ready to, finally.

When he heard the click of the bathroom door lock, he shoved his book aside, not even bothering to mark the page he was on.He stood, but waited quietly for her to walk out.When she did, her eyes were focused on the ground as she shook out her freshly dried and curled hair.She was ready to start her day already.And she was so beautiful he was tongue tied until she marched over to the cabinets and began to reorganize her belongings. 

It felt like as good a time as any to talk, so he walked up, close enough to reach her, but still as far as he could manage so she wouldn’t lash out at him or feel crowded.

“Kara about yesterday—” he began.Kara shoved the top drawer shut and turned to him.

“You don’t need to explain.I get it.”

“No, I do.I’m not exactly the best with… emotions.In general.And yesterday, you were — well, you were brilliant and I was so happy for you and I guess my emotions… they made me go kind of crazy?I got carried away, and I’m sorry —”Kara’s posture softened and for a moment he felt like they were getting somewhere and that felt amazing.

“That’s … it’s … you don’t need to —”She was growing flustered, and there was a blush rising to her cheeks as she stumbled through multiple thoughts.He took a breath and chose his words carefully.

“I shouldn’t have walked away.I’m sorry about that,” he said, finally settling on what felt right.

Kira smiled.“But not about —” 

“Kissing you?No, not really.”He shoved his hands in his pocket.He took one step forward so he could get a better look at her.

“Okay,” she said, hiding the growing smile and the faintest laugh by biting her lips.“Good to know.”She was whispering now, looking up at him with the most heart-stopping expression, and he couldn’t look away.Not even for a second.He lost all rational thought once she had a grip on his upper arm.Then they were so close that he wasn’t sure which of them was breathing when.And — they were about to take the plunge, when there was a knock at the door.

He tried to convince himself that he didn’t hear her groan as he stepped away from her and towards the source of the interruption, but he couldn’t.He could feel the heat rising as she pushed past him to open the door.She flung it wide open to find Winn standing there, balancing oddly against the doorframe.

“Oh good.You’re up,” he said, standing straight.Kara crossed her arms and waited for him to get to the point of why he was there.“I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?”He glanced over at Mon-El, who winced.Winn’s eyes grew wide, suddenly aware of his mistake.

“What’s going on?” Mon-El asked, coming closer.

“James will be here soon to give us a ride to the Daily Planet.And I figured if you weren’t awake yet, now would be a good time to get up.”

“I should get ready,” Mon-El whispered to Kara, still loud enough for Winn to hear.

“Okay,” she replied back, out of comfort rather than necessity.She wrapped one arm across her stomach and drew a hand to her mouth, biting at a nail distractedly as she nodded, watching him go.Mon-El brushed past Winn and moved down the hall. 

He heard the door close and the sound of quick footsteps as Winn fought to catch up to him. “Were you guys —”Winn began, uncomfortably.

“We were talking about yesterday.”

“And I ruined a moment.”

“Yes,” Mon-El almost growled.

Winn laughed.“I’m sorry, but wow.”

“Yeah, impeccable timing there, Schott.”Winn’s laughter only grew as he unlocked the door and pushed it open.As did Mon-El’s sudden and unwavering embarrassment and annoyance.

***

He had pictured this moment before, and in every way he imagined it, it began the same way.With him leading the way, introducing himself to Superman, armed with an elevator pitch, walking out with some out who would advocate for him.Someone who had a deep understanding of the DEO and their less than reputable practices when it came to incarceration.Someone with an ingrained sense of right and wrong.Someone who might show mercy on a soul like his.But now — now, none of that mattered anymore.All that mattered was that she found her family.And that was moments away.She’d finally get what she wanted.She’d finally be home.

“Wait a moment.I’ll go in and introduce you properly,” he said.He turned around sharply.“Listen Kara, I —”He caught sight of her, looking no different from before in any measurable way, but still…

“Yes?” She was smiling at him, her nerves falling to the wayside, and she was stunning and looking at him and he lost whatever admission he’d prepared himself for.

He was suddenly gripped with the realization that this world — this environment full of truth seekers and storytellers and the kinds of people who rubbed elbows with heroes of every kind — this was her world.Just as his was full of political discourse and war and galas thrown in the name of anything worth speaking of.And at one point, their worlds had joined together for the briefest of tangential moments.And she — she was a line running forever in a new direction, with so much to see…so much potential.Whereas he was a circle, bound tightly to an endless cycle of escaping and being swallowed by his past — unchanging, and unremarkable except in his consistency.And he had trapped himself in the memory of that moment, coming back to it again and again, making it the center of his new life.And as he realized what their paths had become, he knew what he wanted.He would follow this woman to the ends of this Earth, to the ends of any galaxy, just as he had without hesitation the day that changed everything.

“I wanted to tell you—” he trailed off.

“What?”This was the moment to tell her.To help her understand once and for all who they were and how they’d gotten to this point.And maybe that he was falling for her.Quickly and terrifyingly.That this was the time to say everything he was holding back.It’d also make a good time to get around to what they started in her hotel room.At least, he convinced himself it would be, despite the number of people bustling around them at this moment.

But there was something in the way she looked at him, her eyes watching him with scrutiny and curiosity, that made him reconsider.He wimped out, opting instead for an assurance rooted in the truth he already knew she didn’t understand. 

“Good luck, alright?Not that you need it.Because, you’re, you know, you…” _You’re Kara,_ he thought.

“Thanks,” she whispered, tucking her hair behind her ears.She looked flustered and the nervousness she’d been showing all morning seemed to be back full force.

“Umm, I should —”

“Yeah, I’ll just wait out here,” Kara said, watching her feet intently, like the floor was going to fall out from beneath her or swallow her whole. 

Mon-El nodded, and turned around the corner, walking with a slow building confidence up to James’s office door and knocking with as much balanced force as he could manage.

***

Kira knew she was supposed to stay put, but she was itching to get everything over with.She waited maybe three minutes.Just enough that introductions were feeling a little lengthy for her taste.Then she followed the path James had described to his office.The door, hardly ajar, had light peeking through, and if she came close enough, she could hear the mutterings of the two men inside. 

Muttering, however, wasn’t quite the word to describe their conversation.Because they both sounded angry. 

“I’ve seen enough,” came a voice Kira didn’t quite recognize.“I will find Kara on my own.I do not need someone to find her for me.”It had to be Superman.

“Like hell you don’t.Kal-El, I refuse to stand down until you talk to her.”Kira heard Mon-El, and could already picture him adjusting his posture, growing more steadfast and stubborn with every word. 

“How dare you address me as such?Who are —You.”Superman’s tone shifted with his final word, and a chill ran through Kira.She thought for a moment he had noticed her, but no one came to the door to reveal her hiding there.

“You remember me?”Mon-El sounded worried.

“How could I not?I live that night in my mind over and over.No, Mon-El of Daxam.I know _exactly_ who you are.”

“Then if you know who I am, you know I’m the only other person on this planet who could find her.And I did.” _He did?_ Kira thought before she calmed, remembering that he was supposed to be convincing Superman that she was his cousin, enough at least to get her in that room for an interview and a chat.

“Does she know — who you really are?”

“Does that matter?”A strange feeling dropped through from her throat to her chest.Somehow, she was growing more and more restless, feeling less certain that today would go how she had envisioned.

“I doubt she’d be comforted knowing she’s put her life in the hands of a Daxamite.And a prisoner at that.Why is it that they still have you locked up in the DEO?”The accusations seemed ridiculous to Kara.Mon-El was as human as she was.And besides that, he wasn’t a prisoner.He was an agent. Except — it was dawning on her how strange it was that she had to get Alex to let him take time off.But he couldn’t be a Daxamite…

“They’re holding me without reason.You must know that.”Kara tried to hold back a gasp when Mon-El didn’t deny any of it, but she couldn’t.There was shuffling within the room, alongside an accusatory shout, but Kara couldn’t make out the words.Instead, she turned from the door and moved away.

***

Mon-El heard the gasp and realized she had heard everything.His frustration with Kal-El grew into full anger.The man stood in front of him, a knowing look on his face.

“You _knew_ she was listening,” he snapped, turning towards the door and opening it as quickly as he could.He _needed_ to talk to her.To assure her that everything was okay.Before he lost her or she decided to go run off and do something stupid.

Kara was already quickly moving out of sight, and he had to run to catch up to her.He reached gently for her arm to get her attention and slow her down.

“Kara, wait.I can explain,” he pleaded.

“There’s nothing to explain, Mon-El.”Her eyes were dark and dangerous, and he pulled his hand back.

“Please —”It felt like he was begging a wall to break down in front of him, the way she stared, a step away.She was as stubborn as ever, but where before he could tolerate it and push through, now he felt like he might break if he tried.

“You’re a Daxamite,” she said finally. 

“What does that matter?”He knew it was an important detail — that was why he withheld it in the first place.But he had let it slip.Had let those words weigh on him until he couldn’t say it and it was too late.Because in the beginning, it would have been nothing.But he had spent so much time telling her all the terrible things about his home, letting its every flaw grate on his being until he had nothing good to say.And then, he had already fixed a place for his people in her mind, and even though it was a mistake, he couldn’t bear to try to reverse it.

“I thought we understood each other.That there was nothing to hide.”Her resolve crumbled a little, and he felt a sharp pang of guilt.He had made it about himself and his fears, forgetting that she was just as lost as he was, and she had relied on him — giving him full faith when she had no reason to.

“I…”

“Were you ever going to tell me who you really were?”Her voice was shaking, and he had no clue how to respond.He shook his head.

“I don’t know.”

“I trusted you. And you — you _used_ me — To get you out of the DEO!And you _lied_ to me this _whole_ time about who you were.Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

“It isn’t that easy, Kara.”

“Don’t you _dare_ call me that,” she snapped. 

“It’s your name,” Mon-El whispered.

“Is it?Or is that _another_ lie?”He lowered his head, accepting her words, only able to think that he deserved them.

“I swear on my life, you are Kara.”

“Tell me one thing, Mon-El,” she whispered.“The other pod.Was it yours?”Her voice cracked and he felt his whole world splintering apart with it.

“Yes.”

“So you are telling me that _you_ took the last pod off of Krypton?”

“I did,” he said, his nod tentative.

“If I am who you say, do you understand what that means for me?” 

He was silent, deathly afraid of whatever she had to say.Because the look in her eyes could kill, and she was training them on him in a way that made him terrified for the first time since he found her unconscious in the hotel room.

“I have been all alone for eight years, Mon-El.”Kara was on the verge of tears, and he could feel his own rising despite all of his fighting against them. 

“And I am so sorry for that.You shouldn’t have been alone.I should have found you sooner.I should have been there for you.And I’d give anything to fix that if I could.”He reached out to brush a stray tear away, but he froze from the inside out when she spoke again.

“I could have had a family.A real family.And you _took that_ from me.”

Mon-El cringed.He had offered up his life, no hesitation.But who had he really done it for, he thought.Was it for himself?He had convinced himself it was for her.For her people.

“Three pods, Mon-El there were three pods.And you took one.My mother **could have lived**.”It was cold, but he couldn’t blame her for her anger.And still, he couldn’t hold his tongue, letting his own frustrations slip out.

“Your mother didn’t _want_ to live.”He bit back.Then silence.And, like a tsunami crashing over his head, a wave of regret passed through him.It was the wrong thing.He should never have —

“You should have made her go anyway.That’s what a good man would do.What a _hero_ would do.”It came out as a whisper, but it hit him harder than any shout could.She was sharp and unfeeling, and he realized he had lost any chance of redeeming himself and his actions.And he was drowning in the guilt of it all.

“I’m not a hero,” he said, pushing the point as usual, this time believing his words more than ever before.He couldn’t be a hero.Not when he actively chose to do something that would hurt the one person he cared about protecting.

“No.You aren’t.You’re just a Daxamite who wanted to save himself.I just can’t believe I let myself think you were _anything_ else.”

“Kara —” he started.

“Stay away from me.”Kara stared at him, glaring daggers.And when he stood there, with nothing to say for himself — self doubt eating away at everything he believed and everything he had done.She turned on her heel and stormed away.But he didn’t — he couldn’t run after her.He knew it was already too late.

He stood in the hall, watching the spot where she had stood, his hand covering his mouth.And when the shock wore away, he turned back, his eyes still glistening.He needed to fix at least one thing.He needed to help Kara, for her sake.He wouldn’t ask for her forgiveness — he couldn’t pretend like he deserved it.But he could try to make up for all his misdoings by getting one thing right.Just one last thing, and then he’d be out of her life forever, the way she would want.

He opened the door to James’s office quietly.

“I take it — it didn’t go well?” Kal-El said.

“And I take it you were listening.”

“I tried not to, if it is any consolation.”The man looked somber in his admission, knowing that it made no real difference.

“Well if you’re going to listen anyway, Kal-El, we might as well have a discussion in peace.”

“You know I don’t go by that name here, right?” he responded.Mon-El smirked.He would never get used to calling him Superman.It just didn’t feel right, that baby he’d once known, grown up to become a model superhero if ever there was one.No, he’d still always see that little Kryptonian, nestled in his mother’s arms, and then his aunt’s, being rushed away to a new world.

“I use it because it is yours.Our name is our honor.I wanted to speak to you, Kal-El— man to man — because you stand for honor and justice.As the last son of the house of El, it’s your duty to honor the peace I arranged with your father.All I ask, as your ally, is that you speak with her.She came here for an interview.Because she is as lost and as alone as you in this world, and I don’t think she’s fully realized who she is and what that means.But if you spend even two minutes with her, you’ll see.She is Kara.”When he finished his speech, Mon-El held his breath. 

“You’d give up your bargaining chip with the DEO, just to have me speak with her?” 

“She wants to find her family, more than anything in this world.I’ve given everything to ensure her safety.I’d give anything now to provide her happiness, in whatever way that means.It took me so long to find her.I couldn’t possibly choose to strive for anything else.”

“You care for her,” he said, a hint of question in his assertion, as if the hero was still deciding if Mon-El had even realized for himself the extent of his feelings towards Kara.

“Yes, probably more than you do.”Kal-El nodded. 

“Very well.I will see her.But what of you, Your Highness?”

“If I return to the DEO, I may be able to continue to keep her safe in National City from afar.And that’s enough.”He bobbed his head as he said it, trying to assure himself that it was, in fact, enough to keep her safe from afar.It was likely all she would be willing to tolerate, but was it something he could live with?He wasn’t certain.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Kal-El asked, as Mon-El moved for the door.

“It doesn’t matter what I want anymore.I’m not sure it ever did.”

Superman nodded his way and, with a bow, Mon-El left the Kryptonian behind, feeling as if, perhaps, he was still worthy of the second chance Alura had granted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!! Don't hate me. Hate Kira instead... 
> 
> Juliakaze, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, emilaysjonas, chocaholic_78, neumann, janie153, Crystalhatter, AvengingLegendHobo, Katie, and JasmineRosalie <3 THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE LAST CHAPTER. Please love this chapter too. It's one of my favorites. Like seriously. I love it. 
> 
> I'm sorry for painful angsty feels, but I promise it'll get better and be worth it soon.  
> Yell at me on tumblr if you want an update faster... karadanversprince.tumblr.com


	18. Home, Love, Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home, Love, Family -- There was once a time I must have had them too...  
> Home, Love, Family -- I will never be complete UNTIL I FIND YOU...

Kira was packing up her hotel room, keenly ignoring the couch across the room from her, when there was a knock at the door.She rolled her eyes as she walked over, dropping an unfolded blouse back onto the pile on her bed.She knew Mon-El would be back… if only to pick up his book.He just didn't know when to walk away.She reached the door and swung it open with as much petty and hostile force as she could manage.

“Go away Mon-El,” she sighed, refusing to meet his eyes.The man in front of her cleared his throat and she looked up, despite the protests going on in her mind.And with extreme embarrassment, she realized her mistake.“Oh.Superman?”

Before her, stood the Man of Steel himself, up close and personal.He offered her an unreadable and half-hearted smile, before extending his hand.And perhaps it was the smile or his eyes… or maybe just the way he brought his hand in front of him, but he was frighteningly familiar.

“I heard there was a rambunctious young reporter looking to talk to me,” he said finally, as she moved to shake his hand, gripping him with more force than was necessary.

“I — well, yes.That’s me.”Kira shook her head, trying to compose herself.Because this, without a doubt, was the moment she’d been dreaming of.A real chance…and she couldn’t just screw it up now.

“Well,” he said, a strange discomfort settling over the pair, “here I am.But why are you here?And who exactly are you?” 

Kira took her hand back and stepped back from the door meekly, allowing him to step inside the room.He walked over to the couch, moving Mon-El’s book to the coffee table and sitting at the edge of the cushioned seat.Kara reached for her necklace for a small bit of comfort as she tried to come up with the right answer to Superman’s question.She started to pace.

“Well, I’m… I thought — for a brief moment — I let myself believe that I was Kara Zor-El.Maybe.But now, I’m not so sure.”She stood upright as best she could and continued.“I am Kira Danvers, a reporter for CatCo Worldwide Media, and I’m here to write my first piece.”

“And you were assigned to _me_?Ms. Grant has grown crueler.”

“You know Ms. Grant?” Kira asked in excitement and disbelief — tinged with a small annoyance that her boss would send her on a mad chase to get a hold of the superhero if she had a personal connection of her own.

“Everyone knows Cat Grant.But I know her better than most, you could say.I shouldn’t be surprised, I suppose.It’s not that unlike her to assign an impossible piece to a new reporter.”Kara stared, confused for a moment, not sure how to deal with that information.

“Well, she didn’t assign the story exactly.She wanted me to find you, but my story was something else… and then it became about you.And I told myself — I can’t write it until I find you.And now… it seems I have.”

He didn’t respond, watching as Kira struggled to find the words to explain herself.

“You see, I know you’re lonely and looking for your family.And you’ve got this whole world that you’ve lost, and I feel like that a lot, too.I have no memory of my life before the Danvers adopted me.No clear memories of my family, of my home.I’m not sure where I’m from, _let alone_ if I’m from this planet.And the more I’ve tried to figure it out, the less sure I’ve become.And now… I was hoping you might be able to tell me.”

“Tell you what exactly, Miss Danvers?”

“If _you_ are my family,” Kira whispered.“I just want to know who I am… and whether or not I belong to a family — your family.”

“Your friend, Mon-El — he seems to think so.”

“He is _not_ my friend.I don’t even know him, really.”She knew it came off a little too defensive from the way the Kryptonian stared at her, a look of doubt on his face.She turned her attention away from her guest and to her nails, picking at the polish painted neatly on them like they were the most critical thing in the universe.

“And yet, that man seems to know _you_.Perhaps he knows you better than you give him credit.”Kira didn’t want to entertain that thought. 

“In fact,” he continued, “I’d say he felt pretty certain about it.Enough to put his own wellbeing and happiness on the line.No man makes those odds if they don’t trust their own judgment.The consequences are too great.”

She sighed, sitting next to Superman, staring at Mon-el’s book in front of her like it had all the answers she needed… she just had to keep her eyes on it until the truth was revealed.

Superman shifted uncomfortably in his seat as she sat down.Kira assumed it was because he was bothered by having her so close, but he didn’t move away.All he did was grimace and let silence creep over them for a moment or so too long.“Kira… can I ask you something personal?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said, fiddling with her necklace once more.

“What exactly is that necklace of yours?”

“I’ve always had it, for as long as I can remember.I don’t know how I got it or when… but I know it’s important.Besides, it’s like — like a good luck charm.I mean I’m not sure I believe in that kind of thing, but at the same time… it keeps me safe.”She clutched the vivid green pendant tightly in her fist, ignoring the sensation of the stone cutting into her fist. 

“May I?” Superman asked, holding his hand out and gesturing to the necklace.He felt compelled to clarify his intentions.“Would you let me have a closer look at it?” 

She stared at the man, feeling uncomfortable with the prospect of letting a stranger handle her most precious belonging.And yet, that face — so familiar — she debated back and forth in the privacy of her own thoughts.When he lowered his hand, she made up her mind.Reaching back quickly, she unclasped the golden chain and lowered the jewelry, the wide tear-shaped pendant first, into his hand before she could reconsider the action.It was out of her hands.She put her trust in the Man of Steel, because truth like this took sacrifice.And she’d come too far and given too much of herself to let her walls get in the way of the answers she so desperately needed.Of course, it was unlikely he’d recognize it or even have a guess as to how she would have gotten a hold of it.

Superman jolted back slightly when the stone hit his hand, but moved to touch it when Kira pulled her hand away.He flipped it over and held his hand out as if he was questioning whether or not he should run his hands over the necklace as he inspected it.

“Kira—” He cleared his throat, as if choked by his own words, and Kira felt him shift back in his seat. “Do you ever take this necklace off?” 

“Only while I sleep.It’s the only thing I have of my life before.I — It’s like I _need_ to have it with me.” 

Kara frowned a little, wondering how she’d become so dependent on that thing to feel like herself.The pull of it against her sternum felt like the center of her gravity sometimes.Like she was curled around it and hollow when it was absent.Somehow, she thought, it must be an intrinsic part of her, this little chain and stone — as if deep within it was the very essence of who she was.She felt like she was nothing without it.

And it seemed strange to her that Superman was one of the only people to notice it about her.Him and Mon-El.

Mon-El, at first, had seen it as something trivial.Had dismissed it as quickly as he had dismissed her.But after that first fight — when they’d begun to understand each other — he wasn’t as sharp… he didn’t snap at her about it.And sometimes she noticed him noticing it.Eyeing her… softly?It wasn’t as if he was walking on egg shells or glass around her — more that he didn’t see a point in stomping around as he moved.It seemed ridiculous.But maybe Superman was right.Maybe Mon-El knew her better than she thought.

After her nightmare, she’d woken with her necklace clasped around her neck, even though she had had a clear memory of taking it off.And yet, there it was.And there was Mon-El, one hand touching her neck and the clasp with a strange delicacy.She knew he had caught her in the nightmare — she’d been so embarrassed thinking of that fact — but he’d sought out the necklace… he must have.He brought it to her when she needed to shrink into herself, when she needed an anchor.And when she was restless and frightened, when she needed something to focus on… he’d asked.It was the only time she could remember him asking about it.He’d asked the same thing Superman had.But _he_ was the one to remind her that she needed it in order to keep fighting.He understood. 

He really understood — she couldn’t fathom how, but he did.Realizing that now, after she pushed him away completely?It was terrifying.

She was desperate for something else to think about, so she turned back to the superhero by her side.He had the necklace up close to his face and he was staring deep into the stone with intense scrutiny.

“You don’t remember when or where you got this, do you?”

“No clue.I mean I know it’s special, but I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.Which, I suppose, isn’t a terribly long time, but still.”

“This, Kira — this is… it’s Kryptonite, but not pure Kryptonite, exactly.It’s a fragment of a crystal from home, mined from deep beneath the surface of my planet.See how it almost glows?There is a vein of Kryptonite encased in the stone.It’s not concentrated enough to hurt Kryptonians, not fatally, at least.But the right balance, and enough exposure, and it can suppress memories.And maybe even abilities.Of course, I’ve never seen one, but I have read about them and seen projections.Very hard to come by, those kinds of crystals… even on Krypton itself.”Superman trailed off, flipping the stone over.

“Then how did it end up here — with me?” Kira asked.He continued without giving her an answer.

“My aunt Alura had one she kept with her, should the need ever arise.Set just like this, in bright and vivid gold.I always thought it vanished with her, with our planet.But it seems, perhaps, that she parted with it after all.”He let the pendant slip from his hand, dangling it by the chain, and watching as it turned in the light from the window behind him, entranced.

“But this can’t be the same crystal, can it?”

“It looks just like hers.”He sighed, setting it on the book in front of them, marveling from afar, as if he was worried holding it too long would be dangerous.Kara moved to grab it back and return it to its rightful place, but Superman held out his hand.

He sighed and began to speak once more.“You know, once I learned what Kryptonite could do to us — especially on Earth — I never understood why she wore it.But, perhaps she was full of things she wished she could forget.It took me a long time to accept that the things our people did weren’t always right.Your mother must have known that, too.”

“My mother?You’re tell me I’m —”

“My cousin?Yes, Kara.You found me after all.”

Kara opened her mouth, but couldn’t come up with any words to refute or agree.Sure, Mon-el had suggested it and both he and Winn had assured her time and time again that it was the truth.But hearing that and actually accepting it were vastly different concepts.She stood up quickly and turned back to look at Superman.

“Do you mind if I step out for a minute?I need some fresh air and there’s — there’s something I need to do.Just... please don’t go.”

"I’ve got a better idea.You take care of what you need to.I have a few things to attend to myself.We have all the time in the world to catch up, Kara. It may seem overwhelming now, but it will get easier.I can help you through it.Tomorrow night, there’s another event at the Daily Planet. Meet me in my office at 5pm, and we can get started.”Kara nodded, but something he said had her mind spinning.

“Your office?Oh.”The realization came over her in a split second.“Oh my god, you’re Clark Kent.”

“Guilty as charged.I can’t exactly call myself Kal-El when I’m trying to be human.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t — oh, that is — I’m so sorry, I should have —”She buried her face in her hands, her face quickly growing pink.Kal-El laughed as he rose from his place on the couch, and grabbed Kara’s shoulder, offering her a small sympathy amid her overwhelming discomfort at not recognizing what had been under her nose the entire time.

“Don’t be embarrassed.It’s the glasses.No one notices.”His assurances and his amusement were enough to knock her worries aside for a little bit.

Kara couldn’t help but let out a giggle.“It’s subtle. I’ll give you that…Kal-El.”She tried his name out, and found it strange how the sound of it just rolled off her tongue like muscle memory.The thought of that, heightened by the growing prospect of it all being real, made her immensely happy.

“So tomorrow?” he asked.

“I’ll meet you at 5.”

Kara moved to leave, unsure how to say goodbye to this man, who was still a stranger, but somehow… not quite, anymore.Kal-El took the indecision from her, wrapping her in a hug before pushing her to the door. 

“Go, do what you need to do.You know where to find me,” he said smiling.Kara waved as she shut the door behind her.

The moment the door was closed, she sprinted down a few doors to her right and stood in front of the door to Mon-El and Winn’s room.She raised her hand to knock, but stopped herself a hair shy of touching the panel.Because they weren’t on good terms.And regardless of whether or not he believed in her — regardless of whether or not he cared about her or understood her… he still lied to her about everything.And betrayal like that didn’t vanish in a matter of hours.She wasn’t ready to forgive him.She wasn’t sure she could.But at least she could accept that he hadn’t been wrong about everything.Her identity hadn’t been a lie, even if it had started that way.

Kara dropped her hand and stood back from the door.She stared carefully at it, pausing a little longer than was probably healthy.The regret and frustration coursed through her, fluctuating between extremes, before she settled in a state of dejection. 

For a moment, her hand moved for her neck of their own accord before falling short.The necklace never crossed her mind.Her lungs already felt heavy enough without it.She turned from the door and meandered towards the elevator. _Perhaps,_ she thought, _now was a good time to think_. 

A walk would give her the time and isolation she needed to get through her new reality — a universe and an existence she still had trouble believing in.Maybe she should go on a run, instead.Yeah — a run.So, she rushed as far away as she thought it would take, moving through the unfamiliar streets like she could outrun her confusion.

 

Kal-El looked down at the necklace in front of him, lying forgotten by its owner. He picked it up gently, and opened the book beneath it.He let it settle between two pages, and gripped the tome tightly.He hoped his cousin wouldn’t mind that he would have to take the book too, but there was no saying how the necklace would affect his flight if he held it in his bare fist.With a sigh of relief, he walked to the window and let himself out.

If Kara was to remember, she’d need to be separated from the necklace, at least for a little while.And he knew just the person to entrust it to in the mean time — the only other living person on this planet or any planet who would realize how essential it was.He had a Daxamite to find…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so immensely grateful for everyone's patience and support. My mental health took a few hits this month, and it was hard to get writing. Thank goodness for deadlines that I needed an excuse to procrastinate for... If not for that, I'd wouldn't have taken any time from beta-ing to get this out as soon as I did (which wasn't very soon at all)
> 
> So SO much love to Sunflower_Nation, for assuring me that I didn't screw this up when I felt ready to scrap the whole chapter. Love you <3
> 
> And big shout out to everyone who commented last chapter!  
> AvengingLegendHobo, Neumann, Crystalhatter, jeymien, janie153, Juliakaze, JasmineRosalie, katie, emilaysjonas, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Sunflower_Nation, and Jrom0924 --You all mean the world to me <3 Thank you for everything. Sorry for the angst and feels. It's getting better slowly but surely, okay?


	19. Everything to Winn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never knew she mattered to me, but now I can see she does."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't know how I would have gotten through this chapter if the Anastasia Broadway Musical soundtrack hadn't come out this month. This one was a doozy. And it's longer than anything I've written so far... yeah.
> 
> ALSO... Sorry Not Sorry for the title pun... I couldn't resist.

Kal-El enjoyed knowing that, while many of his preconceptions about Daxamites had been embarrassingly disproven by their prince, there were still a few things about him that were consistent with his race.And knowing that made his task much easier — at least, at first. 

Kal-El found the Daxamite at the hotel bar, hidden away against the wall, a small tumbler in his hand, which he swirled around with intense concentration.Kal-El brushed his hand over the front of his street clothes to neaten them, tightly gripped the book in his hand, and walked over to the corner to join him. 

“Your Highness,” he said softly, sitting down next to Mon-El.“I had thought I might find you here.”

“What is it, Kal?”The prince said, his gaze still on his glass, initially.Mon-El turned to him with a look of slight irritation at the interruption, then, after a moment to process what Kal-El was wearing, he coughed to correct himself.“Mr. Kent.”

“I appreciate you keeping my secret, even after the way I treated you earlier.” 

“And I hope you would do the same.As long as there are ears that should not hear it.”

“Right.Miiiike,” he said, dragging out the vowel and cracking the k, testing the name.“So, Mike, you — uh… you were right.”Kal-El nodded sharply, sucking up the burning pride that had taken over during his first conversation with Mon-El.

“About?”

“That she _is_ Kara.I should have seen it before, should have sensed it.But you were right, and I’m sorry for the way my anger and frustration got the better of me.I fear that I did more damage than I intended… than I understood.”

“You are forgiven, Clark.Is that all you came here for?”Mon-El lifted the glass, tilting it back to let the remainder of his drink burn its way down his throat.

“No, there is more.I wanted to apologize for being so quick to judge you.I see now it was foolish — lashing out because I was tired of being tricked. But, despite everything you still made me talk to her.”

“So you did —”

“I don’t know how you found her, but I… I can’t begin to thank you for everything you’ve done for my family.You saved my life — and hers.And you brought us back together after all this time.Whatever you ask is yours.”

“I don’t need anything from you,” Mon-El said, raising his hand to signal the bartender for a refill. Kal-El glanced around to ensure no one was listening to their conversation.He noticed that the bartender, a lithe and gentle looking woman with a disheveled bun, kept glancing in their direction.He wondered how many times so far she had flitted to Mon-El’s corner to get him another drink.She rushed over with a new glass, half-filled, and handed it to Mon-El without a word, only offering Clark a knowing look.He waited until she was out of earshot to respond.

“I can get the DEO to release you.It is why you brought her to me, isn’t it?”Kal-El understood the man next to him more than he had thought he would, but somehow, he didn’t understand why the Daxamite had so quickly abandoned the thought of his own freedom.Kal-El resolved that he would make it up to him… make up for all this mess.He’d have to make Kara see exactly the kind of man Mon-El was and convince J’onn J’onzz of the same. 

“I don’t want that anymore.”Kal-El shifted uncomfortably on the stool.The Daxamite looked chillingly sober, and unmistakably miserable.Somehow, Kal-El didn’t believe going back to the DEO and returning to his life before would make the man any happier.

“A prince should not be a prisoner — on any planet,” he said finally, even more determined to advocate on his behalf.

“It’s my atonement for a lifetime of sins, and all those of my forefathers.”Kal-El pressed his lips in a fine line, grimacing as he heard the defeat in Mon-El’s voice.

“You can’t hold yourself responsible for everything they did,” he whispered.

“Don’t you for yours?” Mon-El asked.

“I used to.”Clark grew quiet, and Mon-El’s gaze fell back to his drink, the amber liquid moving in slow circles — like a whirlpool or a black hole — as he rotated the glass.Mon-El seemed uncomfortable and didn’t directly acknowledge what Kal-El was saying, so he continued. 

“It took time, but I learned.This planet… no one knows what happened that night, but us.We survived, that is all.You have to forgive yourself for everything that happened to get you here.And then you thank your lucky stars everyday that you are.You have to make the most of it, by _letting_ yourself see that you _deserved_ to live.”

Mon-El was still quiet, but he set his drink down and drew his fist tight — a self-loathing anger washing through him.Kal-El knew that the Daxamite doubted the truth behind his words.

“Alura was a wise woman, and she knew you were worthy of survival.” Kal-El spoke with a certain finality, and something in his tone made Mon-El relax a little.“You’ve proven it — and not just once.”Mon-El nodded solemnly, so he continued.“As much as it pains me, in spite of how much I know I am _already_ in your debt, I have to ask a favor of you.”

“You do?”Mon-El ran his finger along the edge of the glass before drawing it up to his lips and taking a slow swallow.

Kal-El placed the book on the bar counter, carefully avoiding the ring of condensation Mon-El’s glass had left.He opened it carefully, turning to the page he’d marked with the necklace.Mon-El reached for it instinctively, but pulled his hand back at the last second.

“I need you to keep this safe — and return it to her, if need be.Right now, she can’t be anywhere near it… if she plans on getting her memories back.I’d hold on to it myself, but it’s Kryptonite — there’s no telling what effect it’ll have on me if I did.”

“Of course.I’ll keep it safe.”Mon-El seemed unsurprised by the Kryptonian’s words, and shut the book gently.He let it rest right in front of him, running his finger along the edges of book’s pages and tapping his finger against the countertop.

“Thank you.I should, uh, leave you to your drink.But Mon— Mike?”

“Yes?”Mon-El held his eyes for longer than he had their entire conversation.

“I truly am sorry.I’m going to try to fix this if I can.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Mon-El waved his hand, swatting away the apology and promise like it was a fly — an irritant, rather than something he needed in order to get by.Kal-El decided to let the subject drop.He would give Mon-El the peace and space he desired.

“I know you’re eager to get home, but tomorrow night Kara is joining me for a party.It’s nothing compared to the parties on Daxam, but if you can make it… I can think of a few people who’d like to see you there.”

“Thanks, Clark.”

Kal-El turned to the bartender who was quickly approaching. 

“If you don’t mind,” he said, passing her a credit card, “his tab is on me for the rest of the night.”The woman looked at him in confusion, but took it anyway, making an impression of the card before returning it.

“See you around,” he said, with a final nod in Mon-El’s direction.And with that, the last son of Krypton was out of sight.

***

Mon-El knew he should have taken some comfort in Kal-El’s renewed opinion of him, but he couldn’t bring himself to be relieved that the Kryptonian was willing to advocate for him.A matter of weeks ago, this would have been more than he could have hoped for.But now?Now, there was little point to it.

For the first few hours after Kal-El left the bar, Mon-El tried to let himself slump back into that dreamless, senseless delirium he had know for most of his adult life on Daxam.It was a sensation he longed for, his imprisonment keeping him from being able to truly seek it.But, while M’gann’s bar had Aldebaran Rum, the hotel was limited to human alcohol.So instead, he spent two hours miserably burning through what hope he still had, chasing a high he could never find.Not here. 

Of course, when he finally decided to call it a night, the bar was reaching closing time, he was still irritatingly sober, and he had no clue what to do. 

He returned to his room, Kara’s necklace clutched tightly in his hand.He knew the thing meant too much to her for him to keep it like Kal-El had asked him to, still… he couldn’t give it back to her.Not when she had everything she every wanted. 

It was funny— When he watched Alura put the necklace on Kara that night, he hadn’t thought anything of it.It was just a gift.And yet… that gift has been the greatest source of uncertainty in his life since.And for Kara, it was even worse.8 years of doubt — of being so lost and not knowing who she even was.He didn’t want her to ever have to experience it again.But he couldn’t just take it with him when he returned to National City.No choice felt like the right one.Perhaps Kal-El had given him the necklace so that he wouldn’t have to make the choice on his own… or maybe the Kryptonian really did trust him that much.

To say he slept decently would have been an exaggeration.He wasn’t sure what it was — being somewhere unfamiliar for too long … not knowing if Kara was okay… or the strange sensation that something was lurking in the shadows, ready to attack.But whatever it was, it made no difference.He was exhausted — a sick and draining kind that bubbled up within him.

He had fought desperately to sleep and managed a few hours, resting on his side, his book on the bedside table, and the Kryptonite pressed into his palm like it was the key to something only he could unlock.

 ***

Mon-El woke with a start, nearly dropping the necklace as he jolted from bed.Winn was starting to stir, and Mon-El decided it would be a good time to get some air — while Winn couldn’t try to talk him out of it.

There was a coffee shop just on the other side of the street, so he made his way downstairs and across.Metropolis was beginning to stir, the sun peaking between towers.And the people moved — lethargic amid the promise of a Friday morning.He sat by the window, watching everyone pass by him.He felt slower than usual today, blaming it on the fight yesterday and the discomfort of the uncertainty of what came next. 

Going home was the obvious choice, although the DEO was not much of a home, and certainly not where he wanted to go.But he’d had his adventure, he’d completed his mission as best as he was able, and there wasn’t much left for him here or anywhere.At least at the DEO, he had a purpose.He could find a new mission — another thing to make life on this planet livable… another thing to help him justify being worthy of survival. 

He was starting to feel a little more lively when he looked across the street and caught sight of a flash of blonde rushing out of the hotel lobby. _Kara_.He tried to keep his eyes down, to avoid her notice, but she was running — hard and fast across the sidewalk.And her movements… they didn’t seem frantic or rushed.They were methodic.Purposeful.

It seemed like a good enough time for him to return to the room.At least this way he could avoid running into Kara in the hall.

Winn was already up and showered by the time Mon-El made it back, but he too was rushing out — this time to meet for lunch with James. 

“We need to talk later,” Winn said as he went out the door.Mon-El grimaced, but agreed nonetheless.He hadn’t gotten to tell Winn what had happened with Superman, but his friend knew well enough that something was wrong.Winn had been unnecessarily careful with him the entire night, only glancing knowingly when Mon-El returned to their room at two in the morning.Mon-El hadn’t meant to wake him — he’d be quiet and slow, but his friend had sat up, taken once glance, and nodded sullenly.It was the same way he’d reacted when Mon-El excused himself to go to the bar, unwilling to talk.

Mon-El tried to make his way through his book, but he found himself fixating.He read the same page over and over, catching himself not paying attention.Stuck in one place.That was when he decided.He snuck his way onto Winn’s laptop and figured out the train schedule.By 6:30, he could be on his way back to National City.And that, he resolved, is what he would do. 

The sooner he was out of Kara’s way, the better for the both of them.He reached for his duffle and moved to the drawer, collecting his things from around the room and bringing them all to his bed.He hardly even noticed the door opening as he packed.

“You’re making a mistake, you know,” Winn said as Mon-El began to haphazardly toss his few belongings into his bag.Mon-El rolled his eyes and didn’t reply.

“You know, if you go back without an agent, J’onn won’t be merciful.”It was an excuse, Mon-El knew.He’d said _to hell with the consequences_ enough times to know not to take Winn too seriously in matters like these.Because Winn was looking out for him, yes, but they both knew Mon-El could handle anything the Martian Manhunter could throw at him.

“I don’t care about that, Winn.”Mon-El pushed the last crumpled articles of clothing into the bag, staring sadly at how empty it all seemed. 

“You shouldn’t leave.Not before you two talk.”There it was.Mon-El froze and slumped a little, but he didn’t look at his friend.

“Kara and I don’t need to talk.”

“See, I don’t actually believe that.I know you.I know whatever happened between you two is a bigger deal than you’re letting on.And the fact that you haven’t said anything—”

“Winn, I am not talking about this with you.”

“No.You aren’t.And that’s fine.I don’t need you to tell me.But I need you to talk to her about it.Because if you don’t, you’ll regret keeping your mouth shut.People like Kara don’t come around all the time.”Mon-El grabbed the book, and stuffed it angrily into the bag.He pulled the zipper tight and reached for the necklace in his pocket, considering leaving it with Winn.

“I just want space.”He decided against it, brushing his thumb against the stone instead.

“And you’ll have as much of it as you want.Tomorrow.Come with me to the Daily Planet tonight.I’m meeting James.Kara is supposed to be there, too.At least, that’s what she said this morning.”

“You talked to her?” Mon-El called out as Winn walked toward the bathroom, a change of clothes in hand.

“See.I knew you cared.” 

“I don’t.But — is she okay?”His voice grew so soft, he wasn’t sure if Winn had even heard him.

“Her world is turning upside down, Mon-El.What exactly did you expect?”It felt like something was stuck in his throat, sitting right above his windpipe.His lungs grew heavy with disuse and strain.

“I didn’t think…”He trailed off, losing himself in a memory.

“Dude.Just tell me what’s going on with you.”

“I just never thought I’d get to see her again.”Mon-El sat on the bed, laying back, his hands rising to his hair.He gripped tightly, overwhelmed.“I’ve waited years to find her.Back before everything happened, there was this… this _moment_.It was the night I signed the treaty ending the war…We were dancing.I was happy.Briefly.And she was this young woman getting ready to change our worlds.”He buried his face in his hands and sat up, balancing his elbows against his knees. 

“She reminded me what I was striving to do.When I talked to her, it didn’t feel like it was so impossible.It was like… she and I —we could change the world.The whole universe if we wanted, easily.And then her uncle attacked and before I knew it, I was sending her to this planet, following behind.And I know I’ve spent all this time trying to find her, but until I did… I never thought I _could_.She’s all I have left, and she’s not supposed to be.” 

“Do you want to know what I think?” 

“I have a feeling you are going to tell me anyway—” Mon-El said with a groan.

“I think you were fascinated with Kara from the start, back on Krypton.And it makes sense.”Winn walked out, tucking in his dress shirt.“She’s a very interesting person.Your beliefs and missions aligned perfectly.And — let’s face it, she’s completely brilliant, even now.But I don’t think it’s Kara you’re worried about losing.”

“Winn, I’m not —” he began.

“I think you’re scared you’ve _already_ lost _Kira_.”The words sent shots of cold blood through Mon-El’s whole body.Even if it was true…he couldn’t…

“Kira was _not_ mine to lose,” Mon-El snapped back.Winn had a burning look in his eyes, as if he was daring the Daxamite to prove him wrong.“And neither was Kara.”

“I think that you fell in love with Kira before you even realized she _could be_ Kara, and I think _that’s_ what scares you.”Winn was growing more intense and less like himself.Usually, Winn never got this intense about anything… but _this?_ This was serious.

“I’m not —”he tried to fight but he couldn’t.

“You _are_.You know that.”Winn pulled a bowtie around his neck, his gaze never leaving Mon-El.And that was what made it all click.

“I — I didn’t know she mattered to me.But now…”

“Now you can see she does?” 

“She does,” he repeated, a mere echo.“Shit.Winn, this was a mistake.I thought I had nothing to lose, but Rao, was I wrong.” 

“You don’t have to lose her.You can still fix this.Come with me to the party.You can talk to her.It isn’t beyond fixing.”

“It is,” he whispered.

“Tell me, Mon-El.If you could go back… what difference would it make?If you could do it over again…”

“If I was still the man I left on Krypton, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“I’d find her again.”

“Then find her.You’re still that man.So find her and help her make her way back.” 

Mon-El almost agreed.Almost.“I don’t think I can.”

“Just… do what you have to Mon-El.If you change your mind, you know where we’ll be.” 

“I know.”

Winn tightened his bowtie and pulled on his suit jacket and left without another word.Mon-El held his breath, waiting until he could no longer hear Winn’s footsteps in the hall, before he stood up.Fresh air.He'd take a walk, just to burn off the next hour, and then… then he’d leave.

It was what was best for her.It was what she would want.

***

He lost his nerve before he reached the door.The coffee shop felt like a better option, so he pulled his bag open and took his book with him.He was walking down the hallway to the elevator, fiddling with the necklace in his pocket when he ran into someone.

_Her_.Literally.And the force of her shoulder against his nearly knocked him back.He choked on air realizing what that meant.Either she was _his_ Kryptonite… or she was starting to get her strength.Or maybe both.Either way, he was struggling to find the words to speak to her.He wasn’t sure he wanted to, even though Winn said she should.

“I’m sorry — Mon-El?” she said, stepping backwards.

“K—Miss Danvers.”She winced, and he started to second guess where they were at this stage.The guilt was back, full force when he looked into her eyes.And even now, after all the distance, he could still see the hurt in them.Hurt _he_ had put there.

“It’s Kara,”she corrected with a small smile.She spoke it like it was her strength.Like she knew the word better than any other sound she’d ever made.And, Rao, it was everything he thought he wanted for her when he realized who she really was.

He nodded through pursed lips.“Kara.”He looked at her — really looked at her.She wasn’t wearing her glasses anymore, and suddenly she seemed exactly like that woman who danced with him on Krypton.Except, she’d grown so much.But the confidence with which she spoke her name… she was Kara Zor-El once more.Even if she wasn’t fully aware of it, at least she knew now. 

“I uh — I see you got your book.”Kara pointed at the novel Kal-El had returned to him.He flipped it over in his hand, trying to distract himself enough to rein his emotions in and fight his way through this.

“Yeah, I didn’t have much to do today and wanted to read it… I hope you don’t mind.”He was sure it looked like he had snuck into her room to get it, and it was a better explanation than the truth.

“No, no.It’s fine.It’s your book.” 

“Thanks,” he muttered half-heartedly.When she didn’t say anything else, but still stared at him expectantly, he scrambled for a comment to make.“Winn told me you’re going to the event tonight, at the Daily Planet?”

“Yeah, Clark invited me.I thought, you know, it’d be good to make connections in the field.”She swatted her arm, as if dismissing the thought that just tumbled from her lips, as if it was nothing.He never understood how she managed to make any little white lie seem so effortless… but the crinkle between her eyebrows gave her away.Still.Whatever her reasons for going, they weren’t his concern anymore.

“Absolutely,” he said, giving a smile as best he could.

“So, what about you?Are you joining Winn?One last party before it’s time to go home?”She asked, her best attempt at teasing him.He knew she meant it as a joke — just a harmless quip playing off of his race.But still, it stung.Yet another fragment of the pain of what he’d told her and what he’d failed to tell her.The intersection of truth and deceit that ripped her from him.

“I’m not much in the partying mood, but… maybe.”The more he spoke, the less convinced he was that he might change his mind.But he didn’t want to hurt her by rejecting the idea outright.

“Of course.Listen, I —” Kara started.

“I should —”They spoke over each other, both recoiling when they noticed the other’s voice.But his thought continued. _Go.I should go._

“Oh,” she muttered.

“Sorry, you first,” he bowed his head slightly, breaking their eye contact, while he waited for her to continue.

“I was hoping we could talk about everything.I was hoping you could tell me more about… umm… home?I was just talking with my cousin about it and I just…I wanted to know more.” She reached her hand up to grip the point where the necklace used to sit, and he plunged his hand deeper in to his pocket.She needed it.She was itching for the stone, he could tell.And he was so ready to just give it back to her.But Kal-El had said he was supposed to keep it safe.

“Of course…” He was sure it was his imagination, but the metal of her necklace seemed to sweat and the stone burned warm against his fingertips, like it was awake.He pulled his hand away.

“And I just wanted to say I’m —”

“— sorry, Kara, can we do this some other time?”He didn’t want to interrupt her, but whatever she had to say… he couldn’t hear it.As it was, he already felt like his chest was hollow and sunken, and he wasn’t sure how much more damage his heart could tolerate before it slowed.When he met her eyes again, her expression left him feeling like the space between them was a manifestation of the milliseconds between contractions of his own heart — as it grew, so did the moments between beats.As if he could not survive if he didn’t move toward her.But as much as he wished to close that space, to let his heartbeat grow erratic, he couldn’t allow it to happen.

“Oh, yeah, of course.I, umm — I have to get to the event, anyway.We can talk after.I’ll see you later on?” she asked.

“Have a nice time, Kara,” he said, not answering her.Her brow crinkled, and he could already feel the guilt pulling at him.

He stepped around her and moved toward the elevator.

“And I uhh — I hope you have a nice time doing… whatever it is you’ve got planned.”He turned back to look at her.One last time.

“Thanks.” One last memory.

She didn’t move to leave, so he rushed to the elevator without another glance.He crossed the street, trying to push her out of his mind.He read his book… the same paragraph… over and over, until he saw a flash of blonde leaving the hotel.And then he was ready. 

He returned to his room, stuffed the book back in his bag, and zipped the damn thing up.He would find the first taxi he could… or he’d run to the station.Whatever it took to get him as far away from Metropolis as he could before the party was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know who the greatest people in the world are???? They would be: Katie, AvengingLegendHobo, Moongrim, Neumann, janie153, emilaysjonas, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, sem002, jeymien, Crystalhatter, pwettypwita, Jrom0824, yeratimelord_katniss, and Sunflower_Nation -- because getting down and writing this chapter was unreasonably difficult, but you all made me stronger and when the will to write wasn't there, your comments helped me keep going. I appreciate the heck out of all of you. 
> 
> I hope this chapter was worth the wait, but I promise, the next one will be out sooner and be awesome. A lot of what you are all looking for will be coming next chapter...
> 
> Super big shout out to my superwriter, Sunflower_Nation (thanks for pre-reading half this chapter for me... ILYSM). She makes me write even when I'd rather be editing and she helps keep the doubt monster in check so I can update. AND SHE'S THE BEST SUPERFRIEND EVER.


	20. In A Crowd Of Thousands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pod travelled on... with the sun in my eyes, you were gone. But I knew, even then... In a crowd of thousands, I'd find you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is my birthday present to me, so I hope you like it <3
> 
> Let's play a game called "How many references can Brit make to the Anastasia Musical Soundtrack without it getting annoying".

The first thing Kara did the next day was run.She had never been one for exercising just for the fun of it, and she _certainly_ had not packed for it, but after yesterday’s run, she had felt magnificent.Invincible, even.The more distance she got from the hotel, the easier it was to breathe, despite the fact that she was pushing her body in ways she hadn’t bothered to before.And, yet, she didn’t even break a sweat in the hour and a half she was out.

And she had slept long and deeply.With no dreams plaguing her.She was at peace, and she let herself stay that way — calm and restful.She hadn’t even paid any attention to the clock until it was past 1 in the afternoon.

So she decided to run again, to chase that feeling, this time with a destination in mind.She’d heard about Krypton Park from a passing joke by Winn at some point during the drive.And looking at the park, she felt something strange.Like nostalgia for something she’d never known.Or, perhaps, something she did, but her mind had blocked away permanently.The giant insignia — the symbol of her family — seemed a little out of place and showy, the more she thought about it, but there was a certain charm in seeing the humans of Metropolis giving a small honor to her people, even if they didn’t understand the meaning of that honor.Even if she herself couldn’t fully grasp it either.

She let time slip by as she sat on the park bench and watched a few children playing while their mothers chatted idly.She had more time to kill than she knew what to do with.It was already past lunch time, and she needed to eat something, but she didn't have the desire to at all.All she wanted to do was run and breathe.It felt like how she imagined flying would.She just wanted to soar.

Eventually, she made her way back to the hotel, where she ran into… Mon-El.And seeing him —it didn’t go the way she had hoped.Despite her desire to apologize, even if she wasn't completely sure about it, he had cut her off before she got the chance.And she was more hurt than she wanted to be.He said goodbye to her under terms she didn’t like.Beyond that, the finality in his tone left her full of regret. 

She was still thrown off by the time she had arrived at Clark’s office.But she pulled herself together and tried not to let it bother her.Tonight was about embracing this new version of herself — or was it an old version?Regardless, it was about a new chapter in her life, beginning with being Kara Zor-El and extending into her new career — something she was even more eager about now that she’d managed to pull off something she’d previously thought to be impossible.She hadn’t told Ms Grant about her meeting Superman, let alone her finding out he was her cousin.She’d have to keep that a secret of course, but she knew it would play to her advantage — an advantage that Ms Grant would be pleased by.What was it people always said about rising in the ranks? _It’s about who you know._

The party — a retirement event for Clark’s boss — was already swarmed with guests, to the point that the man of the hour could not be pried away from the crowd long enough for the two Kryptonians to offer their congratulations. 

The more Kara stood around, the less at-home she felt in this environment, filled with distinguished nationally-renowned reporters… this world that was supposed to be her entire future.Clark took her with him through groups of his colleagues, introducing her as Kira Danvers “a family friend” and “Cat Grant’s latest protégée,” and even three weeks ago, this wouldn’t have made it as a part of Kara’s wildest dreams.But now, it was her reality and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. 

Although it hadn’t even been a full day since Kal-El told her she _was_ Kara, the name Kira felt like the shadow of a ghost — a vague etching of the person she once was… a person she had spent so much time becoming, that she lost sight of the woman she was before.She still couldn’t even remember that life or the kind of woman she had been.And she couldn’t decide what scared her more — having to be both versions of herself, or losing everything that had made her Kira.

“It’s a lot, I know.But you’ll get used to it,” Clark whispered to her as they walked away from another group of journalists. 

“Used to what?” she asked, although she knew she was terrible at hiding her feelings.

“Two identities.It’s easy to just pick one and let the other subside, but being both… it’s part of what makes us who we are.”

“It’s weird hearing my name and knowing it isn’t really my name.”

“Well you lived for years as just Kira.It’ll take some getting used to.Balancing the two.Deciding who knows you by which name, if either at all.”

“Yeah, why don’t you go by your Kryptonian name?”

“I was never as attached, Kara.I was a baby, remember?Besides, Superman is the name they gave me on this Earth.I wear it like a mantle to remember who I’m doing this for.”

Kara wasn’t sure what seemed so funny, but she laughed suddenly, as if lost in a recollection that came out of nowhere.Something she couldn’t remember, bubbling to the surface but not quite spilling over.But whatever memory she couldn’t retrieve, it left some emptiness festering, some hollow deep in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t quite shake.She reached for her collarbone, her hand hesitating, when she found no purchase.

“You keep doing that,” Clark muttered. 

“What?”

“Checking for the necklace like it will be there.Every time you remember, it’s like you’re searching for a way to forget.”

“Remembering isn’t easy.”

“It never is.Sometimes it hurts.But if we lose sight of that and give in… we lose ourselves too.I lost you already once.I’m not going to let you forget again.”He caught her eye, and it felt a little better knowing her cousin wouldn’t give up on her.But still…

“I know that.But what if I don’t remember everything?I’ve always thought it’d come back to me and it never did.And now, it’s like I can remember some of it, but I’m still as lost as ever.”Clark checked around them and lowered his voice, pulling them over to a corner of the rooftop where prying eyes wouldn’t be listening.

“Kara, you’ve been exposed to Kryptonite for _decades_.There’s no telling what it will take or how long, but it will come back.Just think of how much you’ve already remembered.The amount _will_ grow.”She knew he meant it to be encouraging, but the uncertainty left her with little to no hope.There really was no telling.It could take decades — an entire lifetime.Or a memory could trigger in the blink of an eye.Or it might never come.Either way, the uncertainty would haunt her until she remembered.

“Names and facts aren’t memories, Kal.”

“No, they aren’t.But they are fragments of a bigger picture.” 

“It’s just — there are things I _almost_ remember.You know, like the echo of someone’s voice or the impression of an image, but never the _real thing_.What if the damage is done and I never get it all back?”

“You just need to give it time.Besides, I’ve got your mother’s device at the Fortress of Solitude.If the memories don’t come naturally… with that, we will have a backup plan.”She nodded.She was ready to let that line of thought sit on its own.She didn't really want to think about remembering right now.It was spoiling the evening for both of them, she knew.Dwelling on the past — or rather not being able to dwell on it —would not make the present any happier.

She passed the evening by being as social as she could.And even Clark told her she was doing well.She was meeting all kinds people who could help her down the line, people who could make her a better reporter, and she was making the most of it.

That was, at least, until she saw Winn arrive alone and join James Olsen across the patio from her.And even though she _knew_ Mon-El wouldn’t come — she had guessed so much from the look on his face when she’d asked — still, she had hoped he would.If only for a minute.If only so they could clear the air and she could apologize.She had been so flustered before and he hadn’t been ready to talk. She just —

“He’s not here, Kara,” Clark whispered to her as he returned to her side with two new glasses of champagne.

“I wasn’t looking — I mean — who isn’t?”

“A young Daxamite who crossed the stars to protect the last children of El.”

“I wasn’t looking for Mon-El.” She tried to shake off her embarrassment and ended up tossing the drink back a little too quickly.

“Of course you weren’t.You don’t care about him, right?And yet… you seem so offended that I’d even suggest it.”Kara nearly choked.She remained silent for a long moment, unsure of how to counter that.Of course she cared.She and Mon-El, they were… becoming close before.But then he — or, more accurately — _they_ screwed it up.

“He broke my heart.”

“And you broke his.But which of you did it on purpose?”The guilt built like wave after wave, choking and drowning her.He hadn’t meant to hurt her.Of course he hadn’t.His immediate apology made that abundantly clear.But she had been so broken that she said things — cruel things — things she wished she could take back.Things she wished she could forget.She wished she knew where her necklace was.She wished she could wipe her mind clear of last night.

“He used me… so he could get out of the DEO.”She knew she shouldn’t blame Mon-El, and she couldn’t reasonably hold it against him, but she hadn’t been able to talk it out with him, for them to get over it.And she was still a little hurt.And maybe if she saw him, she could drop it and none of it would bother her.But she knew he probably never wanted to speak to her again.

“Yes, but only so he could find you and protect you.All he has done since he landed was done to fulfill an oath he made to your mother.A man like him never breaks his oath.”As an added thought, he continued.“Alura thought Mon-El deserved to survive.So even if you will not believe him, or even me, perhaps you can believe your own mother.”

“He’s just… I don’t know.”

“The fact that you’re this upset says a lot more than you are letting yourself see, Kara.I know you don’t want to face that, but you can’t push it away forever.Look, Daxamites may not be my favorite people in the universe, but Mon-El was different than most.He was going to change our galaxy.It’s only a shame he hardly got a chance.”

“He — he was the prince,” she realized suddenly.

“He was.”

“He didn’t tell me.”

“Would it have made a difference?And beyond that, I’m not sure it’s a fact he’s ever been proud of.”

“But he was doing so much.He was making a difference, negotiating peace — he was a good man.”She grew upset, quick to Mon-El’s defense.When she met Clark’s eyes and caught a gentle smile, she knew that Clark was happy with her response. 

“Perhaps he’d believe that if he heard it from you.”Kara leaned against the tall round table next to them, and let silence settle between her cousin and her, both understanding that — more than anything else that had been said, that was the truth.Mon-El deserved to hear that for himself from the person that mattered most.

“It is a shame he isn’t here, though,” Clark remarked, drawing the glass of champagne to his lips.

“Why?”

“The last time I saw you two dancing — you seemed so carefree.You both seemed like perfect partners for each other.That kind of synergy is a beautiful thing to watch.You two would have dazzled everyone here.”

“Yeah, well, you should have seen our first dance.We were —”Kara froze, a familiar panic chilling her to the bone.She could picture it so clearly, figures dancing gracefully, a party in full swing.

“You were what?”

“I remember.” 

The force of the memory swept over her, and she was right back on Krypton, in the hall, surrounded by hundreds of distinguished men and women, dressed in their finest.And there she was, in her favorite blue dress, laughing and teasing, clinging tightly to Mon-El’s hand and shoulder.It was a vision she had seen many times, his face obscured, his voice a dull buzz, but now —Now it was vivid and loud and bright.She could hear his voice like he was standing right beside her, like she really _was_ there, laughing with him while they talked about their future.And she could see those eyes, a piercing blue-grey, the only thing she could focus on, then and even now.She couldn’t help but think of those eyes, her anchor as she stirred from her nightmare.There was something about them that calmed her in some of her darkest moments — how strange it seemed to her that he had seen her at her darkest and most frightened and yet he didn’t run when he did.

Clark was gripping her shoulders, concern in every line of his face.  
“Kara, are you alright?”Kara shook her head, willing the vision away.She had thought she wanted it, that she had wanted to remember more than anything, but now, she was wrong.

“Rao, I’ve seen it a thousand times over.In my dreams, I’m back in the hall with him, and we are dancing and, even with crowds of people around, it was like no one was watching.Kal, I’ve been remembering for _years_ , I just didn’t know.”Her eyes were misting over, and she began to hyperventilate.Clark held a hand to her shoulder, a welcome weight against the flightiness of her dreams.

“Focus on him, Kara.What else do you remember?” he asked.

“We were dancing — we were happy.That’s where the dream ends.But it didn’t end like that… I should have guessed as much, but I always seemed to wake myself up before anything bad could happen.But—”She fell silent, staring off into space.

“But what, Kara?”

“I don’t want —”The force of whatever was stirring in her mind was heavy and terrifying and she didn’t think she could handle it.

“Kara, it’s okay to remember,” Clark said, gripping her hand tightly.

“I…”

Somewhere in the back of her mind, creeping forward, Kara could hear a familiar sound, like a door crashing open.A chill set over her.A crippling panic that had her gasping and pressing her hand against her chest as she willed herself to remember how to breath.She heard her cousin echoing, but she was galaxies away.She could feel her vision blurring and going dark, getting lost somewhere between the depths of her mind and the sound of Clark’s voice.

“Kara?Kara —”

 

“Kara, now.We must get you to safety.”She stood in the hall, watching as Kryptonian soldiers and visiting Daxamite guards turned suddenly and began methodically killing anyone within reach.She couldn’t breathe or move, like she was trapped in her own body.

And right beside her, Mon-El had her by the hand and was pulling her out of the hall and towards a passageway.His guards stayed further back, keeping vigilant to fight off anyone who might follow them.And once they were alone, they ran until they found her mother.

Kara ran to her mother’s side… her birth mother.Her mother was there?But Kara could feel her, hugging her tightly with one hand and shaking in fear.In her other arm, her mother held a baby — her cousin.He was crying, a muffled, guttural sound that made her fear grow.Mon-El fell back into a crowd of other Daxamites — the councilmen, none of whom had turned on the people in the hall.

Her mother led the group to a cellar, a place Kara found incredibly familiar, although she couldn’t have seen it more than a handful of times.One of the Daxamites checked inside before everyone filed into the space and Alura led Kara and Kal-El to the pods.

“Three,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

“The three of you must leave,” came the voice of one of the older Daxamites.“Non wants the House of El dead.” 

“I can’t go,” she said, her arm leaving Kara’s shoulder as she covered her mouth to quiet a sob.“My husband —”

“He would want you to be safe, Alura,” another voice rang out.

“I cannot leave him.I will not.And if our people are to fall, I deserve to share their fate.”She shook her head violently.

“Alura,” Mon-El’s prosodic tone swept over the room as he gently stepped forward. “Think of your daughter.She will need someone who cares for her.Someone who will see to it that she is safe and happy.Don’t deny her that.She needs her mother.”Kara wished she could turn her head to look at Mon-El then, but her body would not let her.He had tried.Tried to reason with her mother, to make her go with them.But still…

Her mother blinked back tears.

“I cannot live without him, and without him… I can’t be what she needs me to be.But, Kara is strong.Kal-El will need her more than she needs me.Surely, one of your kind could guide them on a new planet.Could keep them safe.Even you, Mon-El.”

“It would not be right to take your place,” he protested.“You must go.I will find Zor-El and ensure that he follows you to safety.”

“Whatever happens to my husband and I, we will be together.Am I understood?” Alura insisted, tears in her eyes, but with a ferocity that only a woman such as she could readily produce.

“You cannot just leave Kara alone —” his voice raised, only a fraction, and Kara’s vision grew blurred with unspilled tears.

“I am not leaving her alone.I am leaving her with you.Just please.Keep them both safe.You are their best chance, Mon-El.Promise me.”Mon-El nodded and crossed his arm over his chest, a fist resting on his collarbone.

“I swear on my life, Alura, with everything I have.I will keep the Children of El free from harm.”He whispered it, but his voice echoed around the cellar in the dead silence, as everyone began to understand what was going to happen next.

Alura handed her nephew to Mon-El and turned to Kara.

“Take this.It will help keep you safe.”Alura pulled her necklace up from underneath the collar of her dress and unclasped it before she slowly lowered it into Kara’s hand.Then, with a kiss to her forehead, Alura whispered.“Goodbye, my daughter.”

Kara could feel tears on her face, but she couldn’t will her arms to wipe them away, helpless to only feel and experience, but never do anything to stop it.Mon-El’s hand was at her back, leading her to the pods.Her body began shaking, wracked with choked sobs as the weight of what had passed over the course of only a few minutes began to catch up with her.

Mon-El left her side and set Kal-El, who had stopped his crying after being handed to the Daxamite, softly in the first pod.He knelt by the control panel and hesitated.

“Where should I send them?” he shouted over his shoulder.

“You decide for yourself.Somewhere habitable where Non will never find you.And you must not tell any of us.Non will not hesitate to torture the location from us if we know.”A chill set over the room, and Mon-El looked in horror at Alura.And even just listening, Kara now understood the full meaning of her words.Even if Alura found Zor-El and they managed to escape, Alura would not be following behind.This was her final farewell.And all the years Kara might have subconsciously hoped for her mother to come back for her — it wasn’t going to happen.

Mon-El tapped at the keypad with a dismayed sense of urgency and pressed a button, and then Kal-El was gone.He turned to Kara, his eyes soft and sad, and she scrambled into the pod without being asked.But as much as she willed herself to pull it together, the tears and shaking didn’t stop, not even when he tried to comfort her.

“You’re going to be okay, Kara.Trust me, alright?” he said, his hands on each of her cheeks and his voice soothing.Her eyes shut for a moment.And in that moment, the flashes offire and echo of screams within her mind dissipated, calmed by his touch.

“What about you?” she asked, gripping desperately to Mon-El’s wrist.

“Don’t worry about me. I —” He turned his head to look back at everyone else.“It doesn’t matter — As long as you’re safe.”He ran a thumb across her cheek. 

“It matters to me,” she whispered, terrified.His sigh spoke volumes.He knelt at her side and removed his hands, choosing instead to grip hers and draw them between the two of them.He waited there, his lips against her knuckles and his thumb making soft circles against her skin. 

He was trying to keep himself calm, like everyone else was, but the smile he offered her broke before she could even notice it had been there at all.And he looked so young.She knew he had been young, barely into his twenties, but he looked years younger in that moment, carrying the fate of both of their planets.He wasn’t old enough to have had to bear that.And, yet — he did.Willingly.

“I’ll be minutes behind you, okay?I’ll meet you there.”

“Promise?” 

“I promise,” he said.

She felt as he pulled away, the soothing motions gone, and she leaned back in her seat, tears filling her eyes.She heard rapid beeping, as Mon-El plotted the course for her pod, and then a tap against the closed glass shield — him placing his hand against the exterior of her pod.Kara pressed her palm against the glass, aligning her hand with his, holding his gaze until he pressed the final button and she was whisked away. 

There was a flash of sunlight, then everything was dark.

 

Her vision returned in spots, and she was back at the Daily Planet.The party had carried on, and everyone’s eyes were elsewhere, distracted in their enjoyment of the festivities.And she was trying to anchor herself to this Earth, feeling like her whole universe had just shattered.All over again.  
“Kara, are you okay?”Clark said, his hand gripping her forearm as she leaned, balanced against the table next to her.He moved her to a nearby seat, and let her relax before pressing her to explain.

“I remember that night,” Kara said, willing her hands to stop shaking.

“The night —”

“The night Krypton died.Kal-El, I had my whole life planned out.It was perfect.And then it was just — gone.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m just a little shaken up.I’ll be fine.Besides, if it had gone differently, I wouldn’t have the life I have now.I mean, I’ve gotten a second chance and I have so many good things ahead of me.Like being a reporter.I get to be a reporter like I wanted.I’m happy… just —Seeing it again.And seeing him —”She trailed off, still trapped between her memory and reality, trying to block the other visions coming through as the floodgates opened deep within her mind.

“Kara, you found me.You found your story.But is that what you really want?Is that enough?”She didn’t know how to answer that.The thing was… she _wanted_ it to be enough.Wholeheartedly. 

It was the only thing she had every really wanted.To find her family.Albeit, this had never been a part of her vision.She’d expected something different.A mother and father… maybe siblings.Grandparents, too.She didn’t expect it to be her cousin and her against the world.To have to discover that it was already too late to have a family.

When she didn’t answer, Kal-El changed the subject.

“I offered to fight for his freedom, but he refused,” he said, taking another mouthful from his glass.Kara’s head snapped to face him, and her jaw dropped momentarily, as she tried to grapple with the thought.

“But that was his whole reason for coming here.For seeing you.”

“Kara, he was only seeking it so he could find you.But he already did.Finding you, alive and well — He didn’t want it anymore.”Kara could feel tears welling up, but it was all overwhelmed with a strange, dull pain.The kind that was constant and heavy.He had promised… _promised…_ that he would follow behind.That he would find her.And now that he had, he was just going to leave her alone again? 

“But what about what I want?Surely that counts for something, right Kal?” 

Her cousin didn’t answer, and for a moment, everything was quiet.Not just him, but _everything_.Kal-El’s face had fallen to an emotionless expression… and he was perfectly still.Everyone around her was perfectly still.The music stopped, conversations died — it was like the entire place had been frozen in time, except for her. 

“Kal?” she said, waving her hand in front of him.

Suddenly he stood and walked away from her, and everyone around him began to do the same.Kara felt an overwhelming sense of dread and anxiety, like something she couldn’t shake coming back to haunt her.

 

Mon-El made it to the train station much quicker than he’d imagined, considering he had decided again the taxi — he definitely didn’t want to have to justify a charge to his DEO-issued “emergency only” credit card to J’onn.And he decided not to run, realizing that, first of all, a man running at inhuman speeds would probably draw unwanted attention… And second, running wild have meant getting here sooner.Which would have only lengthened and worsened his predicament now — waiting in a crowded train station with more time to kill than he cared for. 

He tried to read, he really did.He wanted to finish his book, but everything was in the way.All around him, the citizens of Metropolis, and a handful of tourists, gossiped and chattered away about meaningless drivel and it was hard to tune them all out.And even when he tried to, it did him no good.They at least drowned out the thoughts passing through his head.

A small part of him was angry — at himself for being so foolish with Kara in the first place — for not trusting her when she put herself in his hands without hesitation —and at her as well, for being so quick to turn against him over something that shouldn’t have mattered… not anymore.But it did matter.A lot.He should have anticipated that, since he had been so good at anticipating everything else before.

The rest of him just felt regret.For not noticing sooner… for withholding the truth… for doubting her even for a second… for being harsh with her in the beginning —

He’d done it again.Slipped back into his own thoughts instead of indulging in the distractions he had in front of him.He’d have plenty of time on the train to dedicate to his self-loathing and regret.Time when these feelings would be inescapable and he’d have to wait for each of his criticisms to make themselves heard before he could move on and deal with it.To get over it.

He held his book higher and focused on the white spaces within and between the letters.And the more he did, the more he could hone in on individual conversations being carried on.There was a woman in the row of seats at his back complaining about the shift she was covering for her coworker.A few feet to his left, a child tugged on her father’s pant leg and asked why they couldn’t stay another day or two.The speaker overhead called out arrival times and track numbers for outgoing trains and directed travelers to ticket desks and taxi services. 

He mentally counted down how many minutes it might be until his train was announced.He’d have to wait until then to really find where he was supposed to be.Until then, he was stuck in limbo, unsure of which side of the station he should even be on.Halfway between where he had been and where he was going.Unsure how to cross the bridge ahead of him, and what was waiting for him on the other side… _and he wasn’t talking about the trains anymore_.

He slumped further into his seat, his feet digging to bury themselves beneath his duffle.And once again, he tuned out his own thoughts to pick up on the conversations of passersby.And this time it worked.That is… until everything went quiet. 

One second, the station had been lively.And then there was a humming, and the entire place grew still.The voices around him were gone.Men and women sat upright in their seats.Children no longer tugged at their parents for attention.The announcements stopped.Even the trains still in the station seemed to have had their engines shut off.The quiet was unsettling, even if only for the fact that his distractions had been taken from him.But this… this was terrifying.

And just as quickly as the stillness had come, the people continued with what they were doing.Now, every action was calculated and precise.Voices were hushed.Those who stood up in the time since the buzzing began were walking briskly and stiffly out of the station. 

Nothing seemed right, and the hairs on the back of Mon-El’s neck rose.He got up, slung his duffle around his shoulder, and rushed across the station and through the entrance doors to see what was going on.Outside was an even eerier sight.Hoards of humans walking in synchronicity down one path across the city.Thousands of people clustered into the streets, pouring out of buildings, coming from every direction and moving towards the city center. 

Low in the sky over Metropolis, a space ship floated, daunting and sinister — a block against the setting sun, lit only by the street lights below.Mon-El felt a chill run up his spine.

The silence, a quiet before impending chaos.The uniformity of it all.He’d seen it before.And the ship… a Kryptonian ship.

He took an involuntary step back.The only thought on his mind was of Kara.

“No.He found us.” 

Following the crowd, he took off running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *devil's horns emoji...*
> 
> Oops, sorry.
> 
> TO CLARIFY IN CASE YOU HADN'T remembered, in the flashback on Krypton, Mon-El is 22 and Kara is 16. They are both currently 24. 
> 
> It's been a month, I know... but I had to get other projects worked on and you know the drill.  
> BUT, I won't make you wait that long again... I'm getting to the good stuff. I promise. I don't ant to eave you waiting too long with this cliffhanger anyways...
> 
> If you picked up on the lyrics I tossed in, comment to tell me which ones you saw.  
> Also lemme know how your feels are. Your comments are giving me the life it takes to write when the will is low and I love you all so much for that.
> 
> All of my love goes to: Jrom0824, Neumann, Moongrim, AvengingLegendHobo, Katie, janie153, Karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, Crystalhatter, pwettypwita, Sunflower_Nation, and JasmineRosalie (your joke about Mon-El was the funniest and I have been laughing about it since you posted). I am so grateful for you. 
> 
> And as always you can talk to me on tumblr : karadanversprince  
> Especially if you're getting impatient.


	21. The Past To Bury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you really are Kara Zor-El, do you think history WANTS you to have lived?"  
> \------  
> "We have the past to bury, Kara"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter so.... here you go <3
> 
> This one's for my superwriter @Sunflower_Nation for kicking butt and getting an update out on TLATR. LOVE YOU DEAR. I hope you love this one much as I do. 
> 
> I only made you wait two weeks this time!!!

Kara didn’t understand what was going on.The party went from thriving to dead to something of a military march.Below the balcony edge, the streets were littered with people moving in one direction, steady in every turn of the street, every movement around obstacles in their way, and even in the patterns of their stepping.She turned back to the crowd on the rooftop who seemed to pay her no mind at all.No one took any interest in the goings-on at the street level.They were all focused so intently — so blindly — that their periphery fell away.

“What is happening?” Kara muttered to herself, watching as a line of people walked past her and toward the interior of the building, as if in a queue to get downstairs and join the crowding masses in the street.

At her utterance, the line turned towards her, stopping what they were doing.Kara froze in fear and took a step back every time one of them advanced toward her.

“Kara Zor-El,” came the echo of the dozen or so people still out on the rooftop.“The end has come for you.It is time to join your family.”A chill took root within her and she felt a pang of adrenaline rushing through her.An immediate fight or flight response.But she couldn’t fight, and if she tried to fly, all she would do was fall into the masses — neither option would help her to survive.And the fear grew — as if the seed had been planted long ago, and was just stirring for the first time since.Her greatest concerns were coming to life.

“Who are you and what have you done?” she shouted, turning her head to look at the group in front of her.

“You’d think my own niece would recognize my work,” they spoke in unison, their tones haunting as they clashed in unsettling dissonance. 

“Non?” She should have known.Kara admonished herself for not having guessed sooner.It all made sense.The way the party fell to a disturbing silence, like something out of a nightmare — out of _her_ nightmares.Only one man struck fear in her heart quite like that.

Winn and James stepped forward from among the crowd, standing like soldiers on the rooftop, they themselves vicious and frightening — like complete strangers she’d never met.She was distracted for just a moment, letting her strength slip away.

“Winn?Jimmy?”

“Ah so you care for these humans,” the two muttered in harmony.Chills ran down Kara’s spine.She tried to ignore the fact that her friends were the ones speaking — rather, being spoken through.But separating them from the voices, it was harder than she had thought.

“Non, what have you done?” she spat. 

“I’ve made these humans useful.They spend all day wandering around, thinking of nothing but themselves.Now, under my guidance, they will be worth something.Dedicated to a higher purpose.”

“You are better than this, Non.Enslavement?”

“It is what they were made for.They are inferior to us in every way.”

“Isn’t this why we began the war in the first place?Surely, you weren’t leading us against the Daxamites if you thought slavery was the natural order.”

“It may have been why the war was started, but it wasn’t what we were fighting for in the end.I saw fit to finish what we started.”

“You had nothing to do with the war’s end, Non.The Prince’s treaty is what ended it.”

“What good is a treaty but a piece of paper if no one is willing to follow it?”

“What did you do?”She grew shaky and nervous.

“Mutually assured destruction is a truly glorious thing, don’t you think, Kara?”The voices paused before Non continued.“It was honorable, too, fighting a war until there were no survivors.”

“You made them fight among themselves when they wanted peace.You fought against your own people — you _killed_ them,” Kara accused, tears forming alone the edge of her waterline, getting caught on her eyelashes. “Every last one.”Except Kal-El and herself, she thought.And he was here to finish the job.

“I fought to _protect_ our people — our _legacy_ …The legacy your family tarnished, like everything else our people held dear.”

“The only one who tarnished the name of Krypton was _you_ , Non.” 

The expressions on her friends’ faces grew dark, and without another word in response, Winn and James both turned and marched to the other exposed balcony on the rooftop.

Kara didn’t even process what had happened until they were standing on the building’s ledge.

“No!Please,” Kara shouted, panic filling her, rising from her stomach and into her throat until she couldn’t manage another word.She knew then that Non had found a weakness, and there was no way she could fight him and be victorious without being irreparably harmed herself.There were no small number of people Non could kill that would tear her apart. 

Her weakness was her own humanity, something Non had lost long ago.Maybe even as far back as when Astra had died…almost certainly so.Something within him had been hidden away then, and he grew ruthless — focused on the one thing he had left of her… her cause.He had a plan, one that disturbed many around him— caused factions within his command, officers falling in and out of favor depending on their allegiance and beliefs about the fate of the planet.Kara had never truly known what exactly that plan was, but she’d known he had pitched it to the leadership of both planets in their star system — to the high council on Daxam and the Els on Krypton.She knew nothing about what had been said on Daxam, but on his home planet negotiations had not gone well. 

He had already blamed Jor-El for her death, but when Jor-El refused to accept his more controversial methods and beliefs, Non sunk into his command and grew more ruthless… more strategic and cruel.It had seemed like he had become a greater leader in the moment.Their soldiers had fought together seamlessly.There was no instability within the rank, no weakness.It seemed, despite his rage and flair for the drastic, Non was doing _everything_ right.

But, perhaps whatever he was using now to make the humans follow his every order — maybe that was what he’d proposed all those years ago.Perhaps that was how he’d become so respected and so honored among his faction.Purely sinister at heart, he must have stripped their people of every aspiration, guiding them into one purpose — his cause… destroying her family and their planet.And there was no end to the collateral damage he inflicted with it.It rippled in waves, extending beyond their star system, across galaxies, threatening to rip apart another world in his quest.After Earth, which world would he choose to destroy next?

“Please, Non,” she choked out. “They have done nothing.”

“If you want your precious humans to live, you’ll meet me at that hideous little shrine they made for your cousin.” Kara blinked back the tears and tried to piece together what he meant.Krypton Park, where she had been only hours before, was the only place he could have meant. 

“The park?”

“Such a meager thing.Once I rid the universe of the House of El, they will will build a monument that is worthy of the name of Krypton.”

She held back a biting response, for fear he would make Winn and James take another step forward.

“I’ll do it, just… please.Let them live.”

“Very well,” he replied through them, as Winn and James stepped off the ledge and back into the crowd. “I am a man of honor, and my word is my bond.Your friends will remain unharmed.If you keep your word, so shall I.”And with that echoing from the crowd, the entire group turned and filed into the building and down the stairs to join the humans still marching, like pigs to the slaughter, in the streets below.

Choking down her fears, if only for the strength to move forward, Kara rushed into the building, down the steps, and out the front entrance.And she ran, like it was the only thing keeping her friends alive.

 

Mon-El made his way across town, dodging people as best he could, although they were packed shoulder to shoulder across the road.The crowds dodged between cars and mailboxes and everything else in the way with the same quick and precise movements.Their steps fell in line like he’d only ever seen in military training exercises. 

The weaving through the mindless mobs was taking too much time, and his fear grew with every second, so he leapt up to one of the roofs and jumped from building to building until he reached the only place she could possibly be — The Daily Planet. 

He knew this was where the party had been taking place, but when he got there, the entire building was empty.Kara was nowhere to be found.

The only vague hint of where she might be was the ship, moving in a different direction as the people below. 

He could only think of two instances in recent memory when he felt the same deep, insidious, all-consuming panic that had gripped him in that very moment.And both times, Kara’s life had been in danger.Both times, he had been fighting to save her.He had once heard a human say that terrible things came in threes. 

He just hoped that good things did, too.

 

Kara arrived at Krypton Park with shaking knees and a numbness that she credited to her body shutting everything else out.Pain, median emotions, and every sensation that wouldn’t keep her alive — all seemingly vanished as she faced her uncle.

“I’m here, Non.As promised.”

“My niece,” Non said, stepping forward from behind the stone slab with her family’s glyph carved into it.He ran a finger against the stone, digging a line and marring the design with a sound that was as unbearable as nails against a chalkboard.“You must truly love your pathetic humans, if you’re so willing to lay your life down for them.A shame your family never extended that courtesy to their people and their _home_.”

“Earth is _my_ home,” Kara declared defiantly.

“Earth is no place for a loyal Kryptonian.”She had angered him, which she supposed only sped up the inevitable.There was no redeeming her uncle.There was no reason to try and appease him.And although she felt overwhelmed, she spoke her next words with all the conviction and hatred she had left in her.

“Krypton is dead.” She choked her emotions back as she once more came to terms with what that truly meant.But it seemed her statement meant little to Non.

“And soon you will join her.You and your cousin both.Once and for all.”Non took a slow and agonizing step forward.Kara stood her ground, fixing her posture and preparing for an attack.Non continued.“Where is your cousin anyway?Not here to help you stop me, then?”

“You asked for me, Non.I know what you’re trying to do.So, why don’t we finish this ourselves?Kal-El has no part in this fight.”Non twisted his head, eyeing her carefully, before nodding.

“Very well.I’ll take care of him later.”

The fight began with her weak fists as she tried to hit him with a force that could do some damage.But it did nothing.Not even her anger and hatred could match what her uncle could do with his powers.She had no powers, only resilience and determination, and those could be killed as easily as an insect upon the pavement. 

Non knocked her backwards with a swift blow to the stomach.Suddenly, she was in the water, and Non was quickly approaching her, each of his steps leaving tremors as his feet met the concrete of the pool.She scrambled back to her feet, shuffling through the water slowly, hindered by the resistance of the liquid surrounding her ankles. 

“Come on, Kara.That can’t be all you’ve got,” he shouted.

She saw his fist hurling at her once again, and she raised her arms, crossing them at the wrist, to defend herself.When he struck her, the hit sent her careening backwards, flying into the stone glyph and falling to the ground to make an indent upon the cracked and crumbling pavement.

He stalked back over to her, delighting in how easily he could end Kara Zor-El. 

“Ah, see.This place looks so much better without that hideous stone,” he taunted.Kara struggled to stand. 

“You know, child, you’re hardly giving me a fair fight.Pity.”Kara bit her tongue and tried to balance, feeling dizzy.Non rolled his eyes.He stepped forward again and grabbed her by the arm.

“I tire of this view,” he declared, tugging her as he pulled them both into the air.He landed on the rooftop of the building, dropping her with a painful thwack as her back met the floor.And somehow, shockingly, she was still alive and moving.She couldn’t understand how.His last few hits had her breaking pavement.It should have killed her already.

Kara’s head was spinning and her heart was going wild.She tried to assess everything she was seeing.She was on the roof, nearing the edge, and Non was quickly approaching her, each of his steps pounding against the ground with a force that left her trembling.She felt like the whole building was moving beneath them.She scrambled backwards as he approached, but he was moving faster than her, despite the obvious delay in his movements to meant to torture her, drawing out her fear before the inevitable final blow.

A hint of a smile reached his eyes as the thrill of the kill came over him once more.There was nothing quite like watching his enemies fall before him, waiting for the end.Perhaps he’d be merciful and make it quick, to end his task sooner.He still needed to take care of Kal-El, too.

Non drew a sword from behind him, sheathed in lead, glowing a brilliant green.Kara shut her eyes, as ready as she might ever be for the end. 

“No one will save you,” Non said, his voice cold and chilling.

“Wanna bet?”

Kara’s eyes snapped open to see a look of shock in Non’s eyes as Mon-El struck him square in the jaw, catching him off guard.Non was knocked into the air and fell back to the rooftop with a thundering crash, leaving a crater in his wake.

She was in shock, but her heart was soaring — because he was there.Despite everything, he still came to her aide, right when she needed him most.

The next few moments moved quicker than her eyes could process, as she scramble to her feet while Mon-El dished punch after punch.And for those few moments he was doing phenomenally.But Non was strong and had more practice when it came to hand-to-hand combat.

Once Non had recovered from the shock of a new opponent, Mon-El lost the upper hand.Most of his punches were met with open palms, and Mon-El was too methodic in his movement.And Non — he was too powerful to be defeated by just one Daxamite.

In a chilling second, Kara found her heart stopping as Non took his sword and tried to thrust it into Mon-El’s side.He froze when the blade made no mark upon his enemy’s skin.

“See the thing about a weapon made of Kryptonite is… you have to be Kryptonian for it to kill you.” Mon-El spoke slowly, with as graceful condescension that only his parents could have taught him.He was perhaps too confident for the present situation, but Kara still felt like laughing.

“Daxamite!” Non spat.

“Guilty as charged,” Mon-El replied, throwing a punch straight to Non’s nose.Non stumbled back, and Mon-El regained his focus, throwing punches once more.

Non spit on the ground beside him and dropped the sword to dedicate all his strength and focus to defeating his foe.The man who dared to stand between him and Kara Zor-El — twice.He would end his life — then hers — once and for all.

“Very well.There are still many ways to kill a Daxamite.It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure.”

They exchanged blows like it was choreographed, one forceful hit swapped with another, neither able to truly take any advantage over the other.Where Mon-El’s strength was enhanced by his adjustment to Earth, Non’s was augmented by a lifetime in military service.It came down to understanding one’s opponent, and there was no man on Earth or Krypton who had mastered that quite the way Non did.

Mon-El’s greatest mistake was a momentary glance back at Kara, who stood near the roof’s edge hopelessly watching the two fight.Non noticed the glance and the concern in Mon-El’s eyes and knew where to hit so it would hurt. 

With one well-timed blast of heat vision towards Kara’s feet, the last daughter of Krypton stumbled backwards, losing her footing.She nearly fell off the building, protected only by a quick instinct and the tight grip she had managed to take upon the building’s ledge.She wrapped her arms around the thick border and managed to hoist herself up so her head was above the roofline.

“Kara!”Mon-El shouted, moving towards her.But behind him, Kara saw Non, ready to attack.And Mon-El was distracted — worrying about her. 

“Mon-El, watch out!”

He whipped around, only to be met with a hand to his neck.Non took the opportunity to hoist the Daxamite a foot off the ground, and squeeze against his throat.Mon-El was grappling to reach anything beyond Non’s arms, but nothing was working. 

“I should have known a traitor like you would have been responsible for her escape, Your Highness.Once a traitor, always a traitor.What would your people think of you now…”He trailed off, looking off to his periphery in a mocking state of deep contemplation.“I suppose it doesn’t matter.They’re all _dead_.”Non’s eyes grew dark with the last word, reveling in the magnitude of his victory.

“Do you really think … your people would think any better of you?You’re more a traitor than I will _ever_ be,” Mon-El grunted out.Non’s grip tightened, and Mon-El struggled to inhale.

“I did it all for them.They should have _worshipped_ me.” 

“You are no god.”It came out as a whisper, strained and weak, but it echoed its way to Kara in a way no sound ever had before.Mon-El could no longer hide his pain, wincing in Non’s grip, his face changing color as he continued in vain to struggle against his attacker.

Kara was fighting as hard as she could to stay up, but she could feel her grip failing, and she began to slip.She screamed, a blood-chilling ear-piercing cry, both in fear for herself and Mon-El.She felt a strange rush of adrenaline, her fear manifesting itself on a hormonal level, then she lost her grip and fell.

Or… at least, she thought she was falling.The way the wind swept through her hair made it feel like falling, but she had closed her eyes, and she couldn’t tell for sure.But when she opened them, a few moments after her expected crash into the ground, she found herself floating — _actually floating_ — a few feet above the rooftop ledge.

Mon-El was watching her in his periphery, his eyes wide as she took in the bizarre luck.Or was it luck?Luck wasn’t a good word for the spontaneous super-human skill she was exhibiting.Perhaps fate, perhaps science, or something entirely unexplainable.

He saw a heroine, in all her dazzling glory, finally coming into her own abilities.His only thought were that — if this was the last thing he ever saw — perhaps death would not be such a terrifying thing and she might be able to save herself.Even if he failed to protect her, she could still live. 

“What?” she muttered to herself.She looked around, then tried to focus.She didn’t know what she was doing, but it was worth the risk.If there was even a chance she could stop Non, she would take it. 

Kara directed all her thoughts and energy into her newfound flight and slammed into Non’s side, knocking him away from Mon-El.Mon-El fell to the ground, coughing and gripping his throat, as Kara began to fight.She threw punches recklessly, but it did the job.The adrenaline made her much stronger than before, and without the exhaustion from an ongoing fight, she quickly overtook Non. 

Her punches were angry and fearful — driven half by her survival instincts and half by her desire for revenge… her urge to make him pay for everything he’d done to her.Killing her family, forcing her to a life in hiding on a planet light years from her own, cutting her off from the one thing she needed most, and now threatening not only _her_ life, but the life of the man who gave up _everything_ for her… the man she’d now give up _anything_ to keep safe.

Still, her uncle had more powers than she’d gained in a few short seconds.And Non knew that.Or at least, he was beginning to realize.His eyes burned a brilliant red, like fresh lava, as he recharged his heat vision, and fear flashed across Kara’s features.Strength and flight, she could manage.But she couldn’t protect herself against heat vision.Not any way she knew how, at least.But she didn’t need to. 

Mon-El noticed that Kara’s fighting skills left room for Non to get another opportunity to defeat her.He could see that cold calculation in Non’s eyes.And then the heat vision — He had to do something.While Non was still fully occupied with defending himself agains Kara, Mon-El made as quick a plan as he could.Tag-teaming seemed like the best option until he noticed the sword right at his feet. 

He swallowed weakly and took a moment to compose himself. _Life or Death.This was life or death.Or rather, a bit of both, really._ He picked the sword up and charged.Kara’s back was turned and he nudged her aside a bit in his haste.With one swift movement, Mon-El plunged the weapon into Non’s chest, catching the space between two ribs. 

The momentum with which Mon-El hit the Kryptonian sent them both plummeting to the ground below.They came to a forceful stop when they careened into one of the bordering walls enclosing the park.The cement shattered against their shoulders, and Mon-El pushed himself off of Non, twisting the sword as he moved, slicing a hole in the pavement and widening Non’s wound by shattering several ribs. 

Non grunted in pain, a wet sound that assured Mon-El he had made his intended mark.His chest rose slowly and shaky as he failed to get the breath he needed.Mon-El stood but stayed vigil, in case the man made a sudden show of strength, but there was no need.The worst was over. 

Non attempted to lift his head slightly and used what little breath he had left to speak, and Mon-el, still a better man, let him. 

“No matter how hard you try, Daxamite, you can’t save her.” Non laughed with his dying breath. Already the blood was pooling around him.He would only have moments more.Somehow the weakness and the inevitability of Non falling victim to his own weapon made him seem all the more human.It was sickening.

Mon-El’s blood chilled in his veins, the Kryptonian General’s final words haunting him, and he gripped the sword to twist it one last time and pull it away.The last thing Non would feel was a surge of white-hot, excruciating pain.Mon-El was determined to prove Non wrong, even if the monster would never live to see it.

He dropped the sword, the clatter of the weapon a faint sound against the rush of blood in his ears.Mon-El leaned over and rested his hands on his knees, feeling a little faint and overwhelmed. 

 

“Thank you,” Kara said as she reached him, after figuring out how to fly back down to the street level.She didn’t know what else to say.She was still shaking and reeling from what had just transpired, and she knew nothing could really articulate what she wanted to say to him.There was just too much within her to put into words — especially in a moment like this. 

“Don’t mention it,” he managed to say back, his voice weak and breathy from the exertion and the attempted strangulation.

All around them was rubble and chaos, but she was surprised it wasn’t as bad as she would have thought.The park was a mess — a complete mess.She cringed, turning her eyes away from her uncle and back to Mon-El, who seemed frozen in place, his hand over his mouth, still processing what had just happened.

“You came back,” Kara whispered, exhausted, but pulling herself up from the cement.She took a cautious step forward and, finding no shakiness in her footing, she rushed to Mon-El’s side. 

“I realized Non had found you.I couldn’t go.My mission wasn’t over yet.”His voice was harsh and breathy and strained, a side effect of the fight.Kara was overwhelmed by the weakness in his words and in the delivery.She could have lost him for good, and that thought was something she couldn’t live with, so she set it aside.Something to worry about when she didn’t already need to make sure he was okay. 

She got distracted by the once over she was giving him, checking for blood and broken bones… not that she was likely to find any.Still, she gave a cautious glance.

“Oh, your mission?” she asked, for elaboration and for something to fill the silence as she crept closer to him.

“To protect you with my life.”

A small “oh” slipped from her lips, and her brows furrowed.She stepped forward and placed a hand each on his neck and chest, letting her fingers settle in places she could feel his pulse. 

When he didn’t fight her touch, she began checking his face and neck for any indication of harm done.He’d taken more blows than she would have liked to count, so she checked the spots that had her the most concerned.

She ran a finger across his jawline, applying gentle pressure, but he didn’t wince once.His shoulder seemed to be bruised at best, fractured at worst, from the impact with the park wall.She tilted his chin up so far that she couldn’t see his eyes, as he let her inspect the spots, still red but fading— his carotid artery pounding against the still recently unconstrained skin.The rest of him seemed normal, but she could almost trace the imprint her uncle had made against his throat.She could still hear the echo of his breathless attempts to speak in what could easily have been his final moments.Kara shook off that thought and gently released her fingers from the spots around his neck, keeping a delicate index finger against his chin.She smiled softly and shook her head back and forth.He’d nearly done it… given his life to save her.

“Well, I can take care of myself.I don’t need someone to protect me,” she said.And normally, it would come off as stubborn and just _so_ Kryptonian.But she was whispering, with her hand on his chest, clinging to the beating of his heart like it was her lifeline.His own heart was constricting at the sound of her insistence.He knew this wasn’t her pushing him away.It was just a distraction, and he’d let her have it.He tilted his head back down to meet her eyes.

“No, you don’t,” he agreed.

And they were so close.So she leaned forward until her nose brushed against him.She could feel his breath against her skin, and he made no move to push her away.So she drew her hand against his jaw and tilted herself until her lips could reach his.They were so close, a heartbeat away, and yet —

A sharp ringing hit Kara’s ears, and she curled back, recoiling to try and protect herself from whatever sound was echoing around them.

When she did, the ringing seemed to get just a little worse.But already, she seemed to be adjusting to whatever frequency she was experiencing.She’d known Kal-El had some sort of super-hearing, so she passed it off as the sudden onset of yet another power, perhaps sparked by whatever was happening between her and Mon-El.The sound shrunk back to a tolerable level as Mon-El came back toward her, his hand reaching delicately for her arm.

“Kara, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.Really.See?”She turned quickly in a circle, hoping he would let the concern in his eyes fade away.“No need to worry about me, alright?What we need to worry about is fixing this,” she said, gesturing vaguely in the direction they had come from.But he understood well enough.

“You mean the giant parade of brainwashed humans?Yeah, we probably should before it gets worse.That is, if there even is a way.Non’s device — there was never any indication that it could be stopped.”

“You’ve seen it before?”

“It was one of my first times convening with the council.Non was hysterical.His wife had died in battle, and he said he wanted to war to end.But his methods — they were chilling.He called it Myriad…a device that could bend the will of any group of beings to his command.He spoke ardently about saving his planet, but he — I still don’t understand why he shared his invention with _us_.”Kara shook her head, pieces of old rumor mill and her parent’s concerns coming together.

“He had already spoken to my family about it.I wasn’t allowed to attend private meetings, but he left immediately from the capitol to Daxam,” she explained.

“So he was looking for us to use it against Krypton?”Mon-El’s eyes widened, as the past replayed on loop through his mind, come to life with a world of revelations.

“An army of Daxamites against our planet, under _his_ control…And he dared to call _us_ traitors.But… the council never accepted his proposal?”

“We thought it was just a scare tactic to convince us into a rapid surrender.But the council wouldn’t tolerate it.We had weapons back then, terrible ones.Ones that could weaken or kill any Kryptonian within range of the device upon impact.We thought we would be safe from it.That if they used their device we would have time to set off ours and Krypton would go up on flames along with us.”

"A stalemate —” Kara muttered, getting distracted by a thought as Mon-El continued to explain.

“I was able to convince the council to begin peace talks once he demonstrated the device to the council, using the the guards outside as his test subjects.Non was cast out and the guards were kept locked away until they were back to themselves.When he was out of the palace and off of the planet, it was as if nothing happened.Until —”

“That night… when all the guards attacked?”

“Kryptonians and Daxamites alike,” he muttered, nodding.

“They had been under his control?The whole time?”

“I’m not certain if using our guards against us was his plan from the start, but he was intentional about the people he controlled.Selective.He told us, he wanted to use it to bring peace and to save our planets.But if his heart had been stained by revenge, he would have turned it against the House of El…”

“…And anyone who stood in his way.” Kara finished his thought for him, and he lowered his head.

“I’ve had two years on this planet with limited access to information about what happened after we escaped.Most everything detailing the events were written by Durlans and highly speculative, but I’ve poured over the archives, and one thing seems clear.After the attack against the House of El and our escape, the war resumed.And it was the darkest and bloodiest fight in any of our histories.Soldiers and civilians alike tore each other apart — with no regard for sides.A virulent cycle of destruction, cut short by Krypton’s explosion.” 

“Do you think Non was behind it?”

“I find it hard to think anything else might explain it.”

Mon-El furrowed his brow, deep in thought, when an idea struck him.“Non used sound waves to control them.So if we disrupt the signal…”

“— we can break his control!”Kara was eager, feeling hopeful for the first time since Myriad took effect.She was ready to move, ready to go where she needed to and use her newfound powers to fix this. 

“Rao, we could use Winn right about now.”Mon-El sounded tired and a little defeated, but it could easily just have been him trying to compensate for his strained voice.His words were weak and without the gentle lilt she was used to.Still, she decided to reassure him, in case he was losing faith when she was just regaining hers.

“Yeah, well, we’ve got each other, so let’s see if we can’t stop this.”She turned and started walking away, towards the crowds of Non’s human soldiers, ready to fight at the command of a man who was already long gone. 

Mon-El turned to follow her, more than willing to let her take the lead for as long as she could.She was getting ahead of him and he rushed to catch up with her until —

“Ah!” Kara screamed, collapsing to the ground.The sound sent him reeling, fear chilling his bones and leaving him with no choice but to run to her.It was a sickening sound, like the cries he had heard echoing though the hallways as he rushed Kara to safety.

“Kara!What’s wrong?”

“The ringing.It’s everywhere.I can’t —” she forced out between moments of deafening pain.

“Non said I wouldn’t be able to save you.But there was no way to know that, unless.…He —he couldn’t have.”

“What?”

“Kara, do you think he knew he might not win?He already gave his life to try and kill you and Kal-El.Wouldn’t he have come up with _something_ to make sure he’d be victorious even in death?”

“Mutually-assured destruction…” Kara gritted out before leaning her head back against the pavement.

Mon-El stooped over and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, half to comfort her and half to get her back to standing.

“Can’t you hear it Mon-El?Make it stop.”

“I’m not Kryptonian.”Non didn’t know that until the end.Suddenly, Non’s confidence and flippancy made leagues more sense.It didn’t matter if Mon-El killed him first.Instead, he had ensured that they both went down with him if they tried to stop him.They had fallen right into his trap.He grew frantic.“Kara, it’s only targeting Kryptonians.”

“What about Kal-El?” she asked Mon-El weakly, clutching at her head, her eyes squeezed tight as he tried to get her back to standing upright beside him, well enough to walk.

“We need to get back to the Daily Planet.Now.”

 

It was getting worse as they moved back towards the city centre, approaching the satellites still broadcasting Myriad’s frequency.Kara had grown so weak that she could no longer walk unsupported.Every step she tried to take away from Mon-El — unassisted — ended with her collapsing back onto the ground, groaning or crying.And he couldn’t take it. 

Mon-El couldn’t count the number of times he considered just holding onto her and running or jumping through the city to get there faster, but he was still recovering too.

When they reached the Daily Planet, he pulled Kara to his side and pushed off the ground.They landed on the balcony of the seventh floor, and Mon-El rushed Kara through the double doors, shutting them tightly behind them.

“Clark’s office, now.” He said, rushed, as he checked everywhere for any signs of other inhabitants in the office.

“He won’t be here,” Kara said, still wincing in pain, but managing to speak somewhat normally.

“What do you mean?Where is he?” 

Kara leaned her back against the wall, sliding down it until she was curled up against it, head between her knees still covered by her hands.

“Myriad.He was… affected?He went completely still and walked away, faster than any of the others.I have no idea where he went.”

“Great,” Mon-El groaned.“I just knew humanity would be his downfall…”Kara was confused by his words, but ignored it in favor of clearing her head to focus on eliminating the ringing that made her want to tear her ears out.

“Is the pain any better?”

“It keeps getting worse,” she whispered.“It won’t stop.”That was what he had feared she would say.

“I think it isn’t meant to, Kara.It’ll get louder and stronger until it destroys you.Or you destroy yourself.Whichever comes first.”

“If Myriad controlled _Kal_ , why didn’t it happen to me?”Mon-El turned to look at her, rushing to her side when he saw he on the ground.

“No no no… Kara get up,” he said, pulling on her forearms to help her up.“I need you to keep moving, just a few more steps.”

She slung her arms around his neck to hold herself up and he walked her towards Clark’s office, dark and empty, untouched since he and Kara had left for the event.

“You’re not human enough for Myriad to have affected you.Kal-El has been here almost his entire life.You grew up on Krypton.”

“So, the ringing — will Clark be okay, then?”He wished he could tell Kara that Clark would be just fine.That once he was out of his stupor, everything would be fine and he’d be able to come save the day.But there was really no way to know for sure.For all he knew, Clark could be in as much mental anguish as Kara was, but he couldn’t do anything about it because he was now one soldier among millions in Non’s human army.But more than that, he wanted to tell Kara that they’d both be fine.That in no time, she’d feel no pain because the frequency would be off, the ringing would end and she would be safe and free of her uncle for all eternity.But he couldn’t say that, because it wasn’t the truth — and no matter how much he wanted to make her feel better, he couldn’t just lie to her.Never again.

“There’s no telling until he is out of Myriad’s control,” he finally admitted.Kara’s face fell for a moment, then her resolve solidified and she stood up with a strength he didn’t know she had in her.One that probably was not sustainable.

“Then we need to find him.He can help us.”She stepped towards the door, rolling her shoulders back and stretching as if she was ready to fight.Ready to do whatever it took.Mon-El shook his head and held out a hand to stop her. 

“Wait here,” he commanded.

“I’m going with you.We can do this together.” Panic gripped Kara, as she realized what Mon-El intended.He was going to leave her alone here.He was going to fight on his own.But hadn’t she _just_ showed him how valuable she was in the field as a partner?Wasn’t that good enough for him to _want_ her by his side? 

“Kara, I’m not letting you.I can do this on my own — I need to.But you have to stay here.”

“No.”She crossed her arms and stared with resolute anger.She was a woman of steel.She wouldn’t bend — wouldn’t break.Not for anyone.And he knew that.But in moments like this — moments when the world was more than she could take and when she needed to retreat back into to herself to heal — hiding wasn’t _just_ a good idea.It was a necessity.A strategic necessity.She still needed to learn when to pick her fights and when to call it a day.She had faced enough, and she did it without him for much of it.He couldn’t let her risk her life or her wellbeing yet again.

“Kara, I need you to trust me.I can take care of this, but I need to know that you’re safe.You should lock this door and stay here until Kal-El comes to get you, okay?Please.”

“Let me help,” she begged.

“You can help me by keeping yourself safe.”

“But —” 

“Please,” he repeated.

She swallowed down her protest when she saw the look in his eyes.So insistent and full of fear.

“Okay.”She nodded, and that was enough. 

He stepped closer to her, and held her tightly, both hands around the back of her neck, holding her hair over her ears.She gripped his forearms and brought her head closer to his.And despite the ringing, she managed to tune everything out except the sounds of their unsteady breathing. 

She moved to kiss him, but he was stronger than her, and she couldn’t make herself move from under his fingers.He held her in place, but he pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Farewell, Daughter of Krypton,” he whispered.

He pulled one hand away, otherwise occupying it, but tilted her head so he could press his lips against her forehead.He was so soft and so gentle that she couldn’t breathe.She let the whole world become still in that moment, everything stopping as her brain clung desperately to the only thing that felt like a life raft in the raging tempest within her.The only thing keeping her sane was holding her and it made her feel like everything really _could_ be okay.

But reality returned as the gravity of that kiss set in.There was nothing about this departure that was okay.She was terrified and overwhelmed, and well beyond the verge of tears.And he was leaving her. 

Mon-El pulled back, and Kara leaned forward, seeking the warmth of his skin, but he was beyond her reach.And instead of returning to holding her, he gripped one of her hands and slipped something into it.Cold metal and a wide, teardrop-shaped stone.He pressed her necklace into her hand, the stone stinging against her skin, then everything blurred for a second.And as the crystalized fragment of Kryptonite began to haze everything over, the world around her faded.All sensation faded. 

Mon-El slipped from her grip and her hands dropped to her side.She was frozen still, trapped inside her own body, as he grew further from her.And yet, her grip on the necklace grew tighter with every passing second.Until the pain was so blinding, that she lost sight of everything else.

Mon-El left without another word.Kara didn’t even have the chance — not even the strength — to say goodbye.

Kara was still in a daze, the ringing from before replaced with an eerie silence as the door closed behind him.Her whole body was frozen — for how long, she wasn’t sure.The silence echoed so loudly, that even the sound of her own breathing bothered her.Her skin bordered between electric and numb, as if she wasn’t even allowed within her body.As if she didn’t belong.Eventually, everything came back.The sounds around her, temperature against her skin, her vision cleared, and sensations of pain came over her all in one overpowering moment.She couldn’t bear any of it.

She felt the stinging of the necklace again and unclenched her fist.

 

It wasn’t until the necklace fell from her hand that she realized he never said he was coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my faves (Jmlopez24, jrom0824, Neumann, agentzorel, katie, janie153, karamel_fangirl_emarasmoak, AvengingLegendHobo, chocaholic_78, moongrim, juliakaze, JasmineRosalie, and Lina) for the birthday wishes and love on the last chapter. 
> 
> Sorry for all the feels. I hope you don't hate me. Let me know how you feel about this one.


	22. Stay, I Pray You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How can I desert you,  
> How to tell you why.  
> Coachmen, hold the horses.  
> Stay, I pray you.  
> Let me have a moment.  
> Let me say goodbye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *five months later*  
> I CAN EXPLAIN. 
> 
> {depression, anxiety, complete self-doubt, a tv show i can no longer enjoy, a grad program, financial strain, a new job, the holidays, and so much freaking stress. Oh, plus this chapter was like drawing blood. It was a lot. And I had to reread the entire story to get back into the swing of things because… five months. I’d dreaded writing this chapter the ENTIRE time I was writing this fic because plot resolution. meh. But now it’s done and I can get back to writing the stuff I actually enjoy.} 
> 
> Y’all can thank Sunflower_Nation for this one because she’s asked for it repeatedly and been extra patient and encouraging and because I promised it to her as a belated Christmas present. So — Merry Christmas, darling. Your New Years gift will be around soonish.
> 
> And without further ado…
> 
> Previously on Until I Find You:  
> “Kara was still in a daze, the ringing from before replaced with an eerie silence as the door closed behind him. Her whole body was frozen — for how long, she wasn’t sure. The silence echoed so loudly, that even the sound of her own breathing bothered her. Her skin bordered between electric and numb, as if she wasn’t even allowed within her body. As if she didn’t belong. Eventually, everything came back. The sounds around her, temperature against her skin, her vision cleared, and sensations of pain came over her all in one overpowering moment. She couldn’t bear any of it.  
> She felt the stinging of the necklace again and unclenched her fist.
> 
> It wasn’t until the necklace fell from her hand that she realized he never said he was coming back.”

Closing the door behind him was the hardest part of this.No part was easy.Not killing Non.Not watching Kara suffer.Not giving her necklace back — knowing how much it hurt her.And what it could cost. 

He needed to give her a fighting chance.To make sure she would survive long enough for him to fix this.And that meant subjecting her to the Kryptonite.Just for a little while.He hated himself for it, but he couldn’t leave her there screaming in pain. 

Her necklace would at least make her a little more human.It would keep her safe.Mon-El needed her safe.

He _needed_ to make a plan.His bag and phone were on the roof where he had left them.When he was looking for Kara, he’d had no need for them.But now, there was no knowing what he’d need to prepare for or what help he might need.But he could find those later.

The first step was finding the source of the frequency.Which meant making his way up to the ship.But when he arrived at the Kryptonian vessel, working his way inside and locating Non’s device, he found himself useless. 

Kryptonian.The thing was covered in Kryptonian glyphs and although he had done decently speaking with dignitaries in their mother tongue, the written language had always been a challenge for him.Cut off from his resources, he didn’t know what to do next. 

He needed a _real_ hero.He needed Superman.

Mon-El immediately set off in search of the man, finding his efforts fruitless until he happened upon the masses clustered together in a perfect formation.If Superman wasn’t among them… where else could he be?

He measured the moments in shallow breaths and the methodic heartbeats of the humans around him.It couldn’t have been longer than ten minutes.In that time he’d wandered a massive crowd of people and found Superman — or, rather, Clark Kent.And he’d done his best to break the Kryptonian out of the spell. 

Mon-El couldn’t understand why he was so affected by the device.He had expected Kal-El would be reacting like Kara, in severe pain, but still in control of himself.But no… he was like any other human in this city.Perhaps a lifetime developing on this planet had truly made him more human than anyone might have expected.

He tried appealing to every side of the man he could thing of — his humanity, his Kryptonian history… even his heroism — reminding him why this planet needed him so badly. He begged for Kara’s sake — he was the only family she had left.Still, nothing broke through to him.He was as immobile as a statue, and just as cold.

Again — lost.What could he possibly do?He didn’t know the Kryptonian well enough to really get through to him.But maybe someone he knew could?Perhaps he could wake up Winn and Winn could free Clark? 

It was worth a shot.

He scoured the crowd to find his friend.He felt like time was moving so quickly.That it was running out and he’d never be able to help Kara.That he would fail. 

The feeling did not fall aside when he found his best friend.Winn was as still and silent as a block of ice, and his attempts to free him were about as successful as his attempts with Superman.Nothing seemed to be working.

“Come on, Winn.Dude… I need you here.” 

His friend remained frozen — completely unresponsive.As much a mindless and spiritless drone as the masses surrounding them.All empty bodies awaiting the instructions of a dead man.

“How do I get you out of this?I need you to help me fix everything, okay?I’m not the hero. _You’ve_ always been the one who saves the day just in time.I need that brilliant brain of yours.Please,” he begged.“Wake up.”There was a twitch at the corner of Winn’s eye, but Mon-El was sure he’d imagined it.The human still stood at attention, a soldier ready to take orders.

Mon-El heard a buzzing from somewhere within the crowd, like someone’s phone was ringing near silent in their pocket.It was then that Mon-El remembered the one resource he’d hoped he would never need.The call he didn’t want to have to make, but knew he should.

He reached into Winn’s pocket and pulled out his D.E.O. issued phone sheepishly.He pressed his friend’s finger against the sensor at the bottom to unlock it.

“Sorry, man.If I could do this any other way, you know I would.”

He took a deep breath and typed out the number he’d memorized early into his time on Earth.He looked down at it, ready to dial, knowing what it would mean if he did. 

He’d be screwed.Winn would be, too.But it was better this way.Better miserable and safe than be trapped here, with Winn held hostage in his own mind and Kara dying and an entire city rendered completely powerless.It was worth whatever would follow if he could save them.He winced and pushed the button.

 

Seven minutes.Mon-El stared at the phone for seven full minutes while he waited for backup.He’d kept the call as brief as he could.Context was key to getting the help he really needed. 

“ _A Kryptonian attacked Metropolis and has the entire city under his control” … “He’s dead” … “No human agents.We can’t risk losing them, too.”_

He could hear his voice shaking as he gave the updates. 

He needed this to work.He was on his last leg here, the final plan.If this didn’t work — what could?

Mon-El heard the Martian Manhunter before he even landed.Director J’onzz of the DEO flew through the air with a speed he’d never seen from any alien.Even from J’onn mid-mission. 

Mon-El breathed a sigh, letting some of his inner tension loose. J’onn was here and seemed to be in control of himself.And his speed meant one thing — he understood the seriousness of this situation and wasted no time in getting here.Now there were two of them. 

“I see what you mean now, Mon-El,” J’onn said once he landed, taking no time to morph from his true Martian form and into the more familiar human form he liked to take.“It doesn’t look good.The entire city is still.And what is that sound?”

“The device is putting out a frequency — something strong enough to manipulate humans.And Kryptonians… Kara Zor-El…the pain may just kill her.How do we stop something like this?”

“Would you really have me lead this?It is your mission, Mon-El.”He pointed at Winn to his right.“That is _your_ agent.What happens here is your victory — or your failure.” 

"Come on J'onn.  You could do your cool Jedi mind trick, couldn't you?”Mon-El pleaded, desperate.He called seeking aid and guidance.Not a pep talk.This was serious.

"I don't have a.... Jedi mind trick—?”J’onn squinted at him.Mon-El’s heart sunk.It felt like a refusal… an impossibility.Still, he had to ask. 

"Winn would have laughed…”His shoulders fell.“Whatever.  Your thing with the mind reading.  It could go the other way, right?"

"I supposed I could make a field of temporal energy and hold off the frequency, long enough… so long as you three can handle the rest.”

“YES, THAT DO THAT!”Mon-El felt a sudden surge of excitement.They could do this.At least in some small way, J’onn would be able to help him free these people.If shutting the device down didn’t work, perhaps a gradual evacuation?Surely, other telepathic aliens were out there. 

"So long as my shields are up, I won't be able to help you with anything else…” J’onn warned.“Unless you can break them out of it completely.  You will have to deal with that on your own.” 

"Yes.  I'll do anything.  Please, just help me save them.  And then I'll do anything you ask,”

“Is that a promise, Mon-El?”

“Anything.I swear.”

J’onn nodded and surveyed the crowd around him, eyeing both Winn and Superman a ways back. 

“So, the Jedi mind trick?”

“It’s hardly a trick.It’s just psychic energy —”he trailed off and his eyes grew a glowing red.For a moment, Mon-El felt sure that the frequency was taking over _him_ too. 

But then, Mon-El heard a gasp and noticed out of his periphery as Winn moved suddenly, nearly falling over.

“Winn!”Mon-El ran over to his friend, steadying him. “Thank Rao.”

The human continued to wobble on his heel, despite the Daxamite’s strong grip.He looked around dazed and flustered.

“What’s going —”

“You’ve been under some kind of mind control.J’onn and I need your help to —”

“J’onn is here?”Winn asked, his eyes widened.Mon-El could hear the rapid pitter patter of his unsteady heart.Both of them looked towards the Martian, who had returned to his original form without either noticing.

“Agent Schott,” J’onn acknowledged with a nod.

“You called him in?” Winn gritted through his teeth, careful not to speak any louder than the faintest whisper— like a dead wind.“Do you have a death wish or —?”

“If I didn’t, no one would survive this.”Winn nodded and straightened his tie.

“Okay, what do you need me to do?”

“I found this device on Non’s ship.Hopefully, Superman can translate and the two of you can work with us to stop it.”

“Alright, where’s Superman?”

“J’onn?” Mon-El asked, momentarily distracting the alien in question to bring him into the conversation.

“I’m working on it.”

 

Keeping a human _and_ a Kryptonian shielded from the frequency at the same time was proving to be a massive challenge for J’onn J’onzz.Kryptonians had always been resistant to his powers.Fortunately, humanity had rubbed off on the great Superman.And while this effect endangered Kal-El in some circumstances, now it proved to be a boon.

The trip to Non’s vessel required a lot more work than a typical flight, but they’d managed to make it there with minimal difficulty.There were moments when both Kal-El and Winn seemed to slip back into the hypnosis, drifting into the listlessness of space and the quiet that followed it. 

The ship was quiet and darker than it had been when Mon-El first arrived, growing dead with inactivity.He waited in agony as Kal-El approached the ship first, reaching the main control panels with a measured and calm pace.The Kryptonian’s fingers dragged across the cool metal, and Mon-El could hear the gentle hum of the touch, the metal singing out.

He froze when he reached the device itself, hovering above a crater on the panel, glowing and buzzing.The sound was unpleasant, even to Mon-El’s ears — he couldn’t imagine what Kal-El… or Kara for that matter… was hearing and feeling.

“Any luck so far?”Winn asked as he rushed into the control room, followed closely by J’onn, who looked strained and uncomfortable. 

“This inscription — it’s got the frequency indicator and what looks like instructions to adjust it?”

“Perfect.Lead the way, Superman,” Winn offered eagerly.

“Alright, so the configuration has the sensory output at 50,000 Hertz.If we modulate to a non-Kryptonian directed frequency and shut off the higher channel it should get closer to tolerable and we can work with that.”The two of them worked in tandem, Kal-El reading out data and translating instructions while Winn tried to piece together the foreign coding in front of him.

“Remind me to start learning Kryptonian when we get back, Mon-El.”Winn joked as he worked, still trying to keep the room comfortable and to reduce stress as much as any one person could manage — to make it all more bearable.

Winn remained focused the entire time and tapped away at the panel in front of him.“And, here we go,” he said, drawing his hand forward and gripping onto a dial switch just above his workspace.He turned the dial halfway before anyone noticed. 

J’onn was the first to make a sound, groaning as he was brought to his knees.Then Mon-El started to feel a deep and throbbing ache in his skull.Winn reached forward to try and grab the dial and turn it back, but his hand stopped mid-air of it’s own volition, lightly shaking as he fought against the increasing frequency.With another loud grunt from J’onn, he regained control of his limb and twisted the knob back to where it had begun,Clearly, just turning it down wouldn’t work.

“Kal-El, I thought you said —” Mon-El began.

“It looks like this device isn’t meant to have a dampener or an off switch.I was wrong.We’re going to have to find some other way to fix this.”

“What if we got the device far enough away?” Winn suggested.

“If we take it anywhere else it will risk the lives of countless other humans.Who knows what extended exposure to these frequencies could do to other populations,” Mon-El replied, cutting the thought short.

“And the other side of the atmosphere?”Winn countered him, waiting for Superman or J’onn to consider it.

“You aren’t saying…”

“He’s got a point.” Kal-El muttered, his mind running with the thought.“If I flew it up and got it through the atmosphere, it would be out of range of Metropolis or any other city on Earth.And without a major power source, it’d die out on its own.”

“Can you get it to the other side, though?Without breaking through yourself?” Mon-El asked.He’d never paid much attention to the extent of Kal-El’s abilities on this planet.He was sure they wouldn’t be as effective beyond the atmosphere, but… that high up, could he still pull it off?

“If J’onn flew with me, close enough to help me fight it off?Of course, I could.”

“It does mean Winn would be incapacitated until then.Mon-El, you would have to hold down the situation until the device clears.”J’onn’s clear and commanding tone broke through their speculation with the resolute finality they needed.The call of a true leader.

“I can handle that.You focus on keeping Superman safe.Good luck, Sir.”

 

It was strange, being once again surrounded by lifeless forms, frozen in anticipation for orders that would never come.Winn was frozen back at his side, but this time, it didn’t feel so hopeless.In just a few minutes, J’onn and Kal-El would be back on the ground, the people would be freed, and life could return to normal — or as close to normal as it would ever be.

Still, the seconds dragged on.The day moved in silence without humans to fill it with all their listless, beautiful energy.Earth without life, without spirit, was as tragic and lonely as any other rock in this universe.And the waiting — just waiting for them to return to life was agonizing.He kept feeling urges to fill the silence, to assure himself and everyone around him that everything was going to be just fine.

“Come on… come on,” he groaned, drawing his hand in prayer to rest against his lips.“Just a little further.”

He could no longer see the giant dot marking where the other two aliens had vanished with the remnants of Non’s ship.And if he could no longer see them… perhaps that meant —

All around him, Mon-El heard the sound of rushing air, like thousands of sighs of relief paired in perfect unison.He turned to see the crowd of thousands resuming their lives, looking around in confusion and trying to steady themselves.

And at first, it was the only the sounds of breathing, some rapidly in fear and others in amazement.But all of them were dazed in confusion.As they gained their bearings and realized where they were, surveying the damage around them.And then the voices began, shaken at first, and then eagerly and frantically.

“Where the —”Winn wobbled forward and his head snapped around, seeking out a familiar face.

“Winn! You’re back.”

“Of course I am, what —Where’s Superman?Was he able to stop it?”

There was a booming frequency followed shortly by another — two breaches against the sound barrier.J’onn and Kal-El.

“They did it?”

“That we did, Agent Schott,” J’onn said proudly as he landed behind them.“Lucky for us, we had a super on our side this mission.”

“A few of them,” Winn replied, nodding towards Mon-El. 

“You’re right.A good few.”

Mon-El was briefly distracted from the DEO agents’ exchange when Superman came flying down a little later than J’onn had.Upon sticking his landing — a badass drop and slow rise that left the concrete trembling in his wake — the Kryptonian opted to approach his Daxamite… friend?Were they friends?Honestly, the man felt more like family to Mon-El — like the brother he had sworn to protect. 

“Mon-El — I… Kara — is she?” he asked, stressed etched upon his face, hoping for the relief of certainty.

“She should be safe for now, I hope.She’s locked away in your office.She’s uh.I gave her the necklace, to help against the device.We might want to get that back from her.And soon.I hate the thought —”

“Exposing her to Kryptonite.A risky move.And probably not one I would have made.But you did it to keep her safe.And that is all that matters.”Mon-El nodded.It felt almost like a compliment.

“And what of you two?” he asked Kal-El.

“Well, if she decides to go home with you to National City, I’ll be by to visit.” 

“And if she doesn’t?”He tried to hide his disappointment in even considering the idea of her staying.As uncertain as he may have felt about their future, he knew one thing for sure — he didn’t want today to be the last time he ever saw her.

“I’ll train her.Her powers will take a little time to grow accustomed to, but she’s bound to find out about them and I want her to know how to use them for the betterment of mankind.She is too good and too strong for anything else, and I doubt she’ll just want to pretend they don’t exist.Not when they are such a huge part of what she is — a Kryptonian.”Mon-El nodded.He couldn’t possibly deny her that.She deserved to have the chance to explore this new side of herself, especially at her cousin’s side.

“Good.She’ll need your guidance.She needs her family.” 

“She needs you, too,” Kal-El whispered.

“She’s managed just fine without me for years.I think she will be okay.” 

“Why don’t we ask her and decide from there,” the Kryptonian suggested, taking on the matured tone he’d used with Mon-El in the bar.Like an elder brother trying to impart wisdom.“Because I am certain that the way you think she feels is not what she truly wants.”

“Lead the way, Kal.”And Mon-El was ready to follow — and eager to see Kara.To make sure she was okay.He’d give anything to have that certainty, even if she truly didn’t want to see him again.Knowing she was fine and was going to make it out of this intact… that would be enough.But it seemed that was beyond what he could reasonably hope for.

“Come on, Mon-El,” J’onn commanded, a stroke of hesitation working it’s way into his every gesture.“It’s time to go home.”Mon-El felt the Martian’s hand against his shoulder, holding him back as Kal-El continued on, and knew he was right.He had to go.This was his end of the deal.No matter how little he wanted this, it’s why he needed to do.And what he’d agreed to, regardless of whether or not he’d actually said so out loud. 

“I need to see Kara.I need to make sure she’s okay.”He wasn’t sure how to explain to J’onn who she was or why it was so important that he go with Superman to find her.But J’onn’s pained expression told him that he knew enough — at the very least, he must have listened in on his conversation with Kal-El. 

“She will be safe with her cousin.Now, you’ve made enough of a mess.We have to go back to the DEO.All of us.Before Metropolis goes searching for the individuals involved in all this.”

“Please.I can’t just leave her.I’m begging you.Let me say goodbye.”Mon-El’s voice strained and cracked as he tried to speak.It seems he still wasn’t fully recovered from the fight with Non.That, or he no longer had any grip on his own emotions.He’d prefer it was the former, but he wasn’t so sure.

J’onn looked at him and Mon-El could sense what was happening.Like there was a faint buzzing in the back of his mind — one he knew wasn’t real, but he imagined it anyway.J’onn looking through his thoughts.

“You said your goodbyes, Mon-El.There is nothing left to say.”

“She deserves better than that. She deserves and explanation and truth and a safe and happier goodbye.Please.She deserves a real goodbye.”

“And yet, that was what she was given.She is strong.Kara Zor-El will be fine.Now listen to orders and come with me.It’s a long way back to National City.”

“This is your condition,” Mon-El realized with a certain finality, the epiphany coming with more shock than was due, considering he’d suspected and dreaded this outcome all along.

“What do you mean?”

“You came and helped me save her, with me promising anything in return.And now that she’s safe and alive, I’m not allowed to see her.”

“Mon-El, I’m sorry but —”

“No.I… I understand.”He turned to Kal-El and took a step forward, prepared for the only goodbye he’d be permitted.Still, he wasn’t sure where to begin.Kal-El, however, seemed like he already knew what he wanted to say.

“Let me speak to J’onn.Surely, I can convince him to let you go.You’ve done enough for this city — and for _me_ to warrant your freedom.And I owe you a great debt.It is the very least I can do.” 

Mon-El shook his head.The adventure was over.He’d found her and kept her safe from her uncle.His mission was complete.Leaving Metropolis and returning to the DEO was the unfortunate side effect of ensuring her safety, and it was an easy price to pay.After all, whatever happened to him now truly didn’t matter.Not anymore.

“I— I can’t.I’ve got this.Just… take care of her Kal, please.”He hated to sound like he was begging.But… he was.Superman’s promise to watch over her would be all the reassurance he could hope for now.He needed to know she would be okay.That she wouldn’t be alone… again.

“Of course.”The Kryptonian looked at him with a sad nod.He knew better than to fight now… knew not to kick a man when he was down.He set his hand upon Mon-El’s shoulder and gripped it lightly, a friendly reassurance.“Metropolis — and I — will always welcome you.Your sacrifice and your valor will not be forgotten.Anytime you need a favor, say the word and I will be there.”

“Goodbye Kal-El,” he whispered, a hand at Superman’s shoulder saying everything he couldn’t himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR THE RESPONSE ON MY LAST CHAPTER. I’m just — blown away. 
> 
> Dearest darling angels — neumann, emarasmoak, Sunflower_Nation, Moongrim, jeymien, miss_janey, bilgegungoren00, chocaholic_78, 93Mika, Agentzorel, AvengingLegendHobo, marshmellow, Katie, jrom0824, janie153, JasmineRosalie, LILYpadsROX, fandomlove17, and SansZorel — I am so grateful you took the time to share your reactions and thoughts with me. It was staggering, and just the thought of y’all kept me clinging to this story when I thought I’d never get through it.
> 
> And extra hugs to Katie and Jrom0824 for coming back and commenting a few extra times — Your encouragement and your kindness in checking in on me doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. You’ve kept me floating above water and I adore you all the more for it
> 
> I decided to move my favorite scene to next chapter because it fits better there and I don’t want it to be tied down to all this plot plot plot. It deserves a space of its own ;) . SO….. that means that next chapter is so close to done, it’s almost ridiculous. Sorry for taking so long… but I have a timeline now for when I want this to be done and I think you’ll be very happy with the timing of it.
> 
> Oh. Also. I’ve started a fic that is basically the whole reason I’m still an active-ish part of this fandom. I could never abandon it…I love it too much.  
> But pretty please check it out. It’s called When Catastrophy Strikes and arc 1 will be complete TOMORROW, and it’s SO fun. Also the comments over there have got me back in the spirit of writing this and the story is already at least 70k written soooo… maybe check that out? Villains AU. Lots of sass and banter. 
> 
> Okay I’ll shut up now. I’m back. Thanks for your patience with me.


	23. The Last Daughter Of Krypton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "One step at a time  
> One hope, then another  
> Who knows where this road may go--  
> Back to who I was  
> On to find my future  
> Things my heart still needs to know"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *another six months later*  
> I know. I'm so sorry. So immensely sorry. So... the chapter that I was almost was done with turned out to be chapter 24... which is done <3 But getting from 22 to 24 was a challenge... So, here we are six months later. And I decided since last year I gifted myself an update for my birthday... I should do it today, too. 
> 
> I'm back for good. We have 4 chapters left to be posted and we've trudged through the roughest of it. It's all blue skies and sunshine from here.
> 
> I'm so ridiculously grateful for everyone who showed me patience as well as reminded me that they still cared about this story when I thought no one could. I could hardly even look at my document to make myself write. But I'm through it and I'm ready to finish this thing, finally. Thank you to those of you who gave me gentle nudges. Not only were they willingly accepted -- but they were also strength-giving, hope-bringing, and spirit-lifting. I need the reminders from time to time and you helped immensely.
> 
> {life update/excuses: still have the depression, anxiety, & complete self-doubt, but I'm better at managing them. I've written and edited 53 chapters of another fanfic (When Catastrophy) [six complete plot arcs so far] that I've been updating super fast and throwing my whole heart into, still not watching SG, I'm working a temporary low pay job that I'm clinging to because change is scary, and I'm exhausted constantly.}
> 
> Sunflower_Nation. Darling, how do I put into words the value of a friendship as wonderful and meaningful as ours. I know patience isn't our strong suit, but thank you for giving it generously to me and forgiving me every time I wrote something other than UIFY.   
> I wear my kryptonite nearly every day. And every day I am reminded how much this story, our friendship, and this kryptonite truly mean to me - and how much I am for being blessed with all of it. I love you to Krypton and back, bestie. This chapter and next are dedicated to you. 
> 
> And without further ado…
> 
> Previously on Until I Find You [Chapter 21]:  
> “Kara was still in a daze, the ringing from before replaced with an eerie silence as the door closed behind him. Her whole body was frozen — for how long, she wasn’t sure. The silence echoed so loudly, that even the sound of her own breathing bothered her. Her skin bordered between electric and numb, as if she wasn’t even allowed within her body. As if she didn’t belong. Eventually, everything came back. The sounds around her, temperature against her skin, her vision cleared, and sensations of pain came over her all in one overpowering moment. She couldn’t bear any of it.  
> She felt the stinging of the necklace again and unclenched her fist.
> 
> It wasn’t until the necklace fell from her hand that she realized he never said he was coming back.”

Kara didn’t know how long she sat, locked in Clark’s office, but the tears had long subsided.Still, when the door opened, she let her hopes get up, only to find herself a little heartbroken when Clark Kent himself walked through the door.She smiled sadly at him. 

“Is he okay?”Kara pressed her lips together, waiting in anxious hesitation for his response.

“Mon-El is safe and sound and already on his way back to National City.”And …maybe the tears weren’t _completely_ gone.She lifted her head to the ceiling and tried to will herself to stop crying.It wasn’t working, so she hurriedly brushed the tears away and looked at her cousin. 

“Well that’s good,” she said, stifling a sniffle.

“He’d… he’d be here if he could.You know that, right?If he’d been free to act of his own will, he would be here in a heartbeat.I promise you.”

“I’d hope so.Still, I wish he could.I never wanted him to go, not for my sake.”

“He cares a great deal for you, Kara.The question is, how do you feel about him?”

She sighed deeply and dropped her head.

“I hardly even know who _I_ am anymore, let alone what I want.I’m so lost, and now he’s gone.And I wanted to be able to at least talk to him, to apologize, but he left before I could, and I don’t think I’ll ever — I mean, not that I expect he’d forgive me, considering just how awfully I treated him…”

“Kara, if I’ve ever learned anything from being Superman _and_ Clark, it’s that you need to know yourself first. _You_ need to decide how you’ll do that.And I am here for every stage of the process.”

“I was supposed to help you with that, wasn’t I?”

“Kara, we had no control over it.Don’t waste your energy grieving a duty you never had the opportunity to fulfill.”

She nodded.“How do you do it, Clark?Everything is all new.All these memories, and then the powers.I just don’t know how to go back.”

“Then don’t go back.Become something more.You can still be Kira.You still _are_ Kira.But you have powers now.Things you never could have believed possible before.You should learn how to control them and use them to make the world a better place.”

“Can you teach me?” she asked him, eager hope returning to her.

“Of course.Besides, after your uncle’s attack, Metropolis could use an extra hero for a while.”

 

The truly astounding thing about finding her family now came _not_ in finding someone who truly understood her, but in finding herself able to both teach _and_ learn — at least when it came to Krypton.For everything Kara was able to teach her cousin, stories about her experiences growing up on Krypton that returned as the memories came back, Kal-El was able to teach her something about their home — about family.All the gaps — information the Daxamite prince wouldn’t know — were filled in from her conversations with Kal-El over the next few days. 

Over movie nights and days spent in his office at the Daily Planet… during walks across the city and in the glorious moments when the two were flying together, there was always a moment when Kara found herself sharing memories she never knew she still held… or hearing ones she’d never have imagined Kal-El’s infant brain would have retained. 

And what she couldn’t recall, Kal was easily able to find answers to.While he had been brought to Earth with all the same data as had been contained in the other two pods, the youngest of the House of El hadn’t had to decipher it on his own. 

He waited a few days before he showed her the Fortress of Solitude, offering it up to her for her own use before they’d even crossed the threshold.And she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep away.Even without the giant statue of her uncle, Jor-El, the place had a calmness in its cold.It was quiet and centering, sharing the space.But her cousin had not brought her to meditate.Instead, he stepped forward to a panel that projected Kryptonian glyphs.He tapped far too fast for Kara to translate offhand, but she was still paying close attention to every move he made, memorizing the jarring motions of his fingertips as he typed out something that must have become rote to him by now.

The screen flickered and stretched and Kal-El took a step back, raising his head up as the light materialized to form of a woman.

“Kal-El,” the woman greeted, a gentle smile gracing her face the entire time she spoke, unwavering as if it was her natural disposition.

“Hello, Mother,” her cousin responded, bowing slightly before the hologram.Kara’s breath stopped in her throat as her mind flashed to the last time she had seen her aunt’s face — stricken with fear and grief, mourning her husband and already grieving for the son she would never get to watch grow up.And yet, here she was — or at least the image of her.

“You are not alone today, son.”

“I brought Kara along with me.”There was a flash of life in her aunt’s eyes as the woman turned toward Kara to speak.

“Kara, my dear, you’ve grown beyond recognition.You look so much like your parents.And yet, so young.”Kara stood misty-eyed, and couldn’t come up with words to say back.So instead she gave a long, deep bow in her aunt’s direction and watched as Kal-El detailed his search for her to his mother.And all the while, she marveled in amazement at how, even in death, her aunt was just as vivid and wonderful as she had always been.Only, now she could remember the soft cadence of her singing voice, and her hushed tones, and the way Kara always used to feel safe in her presence.

Kara was lost in thought, drowning in memories, when the hologram vanished and Kal-El reached out to grasp her hand.

“It gets lonely sometimes.I may not have had enough time with her on Krypton — and a hologram is _no_ _replacement_ for a mother — but at least this way I can have some of her.The wiser bits, too.Comes in handy at times.”

The mist turned into tears as Kara tried to hold back her emotions — a cacophony of amusement, nostalgia, grief, and joy all wrapped into a singular moment. 

 

For several days, Kara trained with her cousin, testing her powers and learning to balance them when she needed to be a little more human.It wasn’t a lengthy time to be adjusting to her new self, but it was long enough for them to repair what damage they could to the city and for her to decide what she wanted to do.And it was enough time for Kal-El to come up with a few surprises when she did — almost as if he had known exactly what she was going to choose.

Kara walked into his office during the day, completely unannounced as usual, brimming with excitement. 

“I put out a fire.”She leaned down and brushed off her black denim jeans, still carrying a hint of ash, and smiled proudly.

“By yourself?” Kal-El asked, unsurprised, but still filling with a matched pride and enthusiasm.

“By _myself_.Clark, I really — I mean —“Kara stopped to gather her thoughts, hesitant and doubtful as her voice and shoulders dropped.“Do you think I’ve got what it takes to do what you do?”

“You mean the reporting, or the other thing?” he asked, waited, and then laughed.“I’m kidding.I think you’re more than capable of either.Of both.Besides, National City could really use a hero of their own, don’t you think?”

“I sure hope so.”

Her cousin raised his eyebrows with a cheeky grin.“And I’m sure someone there would be happy to see —”

“Have you heard from him?Or anyone in National City for that matter?”Kara had asked that question nearly every day, and the answer was always the same.And yet there she was, reminding herself of what mattered, what lingered in the back of her mind, returning each day with tireless hope.

“I’m sorry, Kara.If I had, I would tell you.But he’s not going anywhere.He’ll be right at the DEO, so when you’re ready, you’ll be able to find him.”

“I know,” she whispered, fiddling with her hands.

“And speaking of being ready,I have a couple things for you —” he said, reaching under his desk to pull out two boxes.He grabbed the smaller one and fiddled with it.“I know it isn’t the same — and I’m always here when you need me.But talking to my mother always helped when I was feeling lost.”

He placed the box in her hand.“The DEO can help you get the resources, and your friend Winn should have no trouble calibrating it.Alura sent us with this, like she sent you with your necklace.Something from home.Alura’s consciousness — it’s no substitution for your actual mother, but it should make it easier.Less…lonely.”

Kara got misty eyed at the thought of being able to talk to her mother, after all this time.Even if only in the ways she’d watched Kal-El converse with his own mother.It was better than a dream.Better than any of the dreams of her mother that the nights without her necklace had given.

“And since you’re going to be out in the field without me, I figured you could use something to remind you who you are when I can’t.”He handed her the second, and larger box.

Kara tore it open to find her family’s crest facing her.She ran her fingers over it, swallowing the lump in her throat.It had been so long since she’d seen anything with the mark besides Superman’s suit, let alone something for herself.She pulled it out to find it sturdily stitched into a suit of her own, complete with a thick red cape.

“I hope you don’t mind, but bulletproof capes aren’t easy to make, so I had to improvise with the blanket I arrive in.I’m sure Winn could make another, but in the meantime —”

“It’s perfect, Kal,” Kara said, rushing around the desk to embrace her cousin.

“Clark,” he whispered in amusement as he returned her hug.

“Oops.I’m sorry.It’s taking some getting used to.”

“It gets easier.Fortunately for you, you’ve gone by Kira for so long.”

“It’s almost strange to hear my real name again,” she marveled, shaking her head.She’d spent so much time, reminding herself she was Kara. _Kara, Kara, Kara._ But throwing herself into who she used to be made her almost lose sight of who she had become.Her life now would have to be a mix of the two, merging two halves of her identity to forge her future self.

Clark dropped his voice to a full whisper, one she could only hear with her super hearing.“So, Kara, what do you say you go test it out?And if anything comes up, I’ll join you so we can get a little extra practice before you head home.”

“I’d love that,” she smiled, clutching the box holding her suit tightly against her chest.Then she was moving backwards, rushing out the door.

“See you later,” she shouted over her shoulder as she rushed away as fast as humanly possible to change.

 

Kara stood in the Daily Planet lobby for ten minutes, notebook in hand, staring at the tv screen while the latest news broadcast showed footage of her adventure from only a few hours before, testing out her suit.She smiled when she saw her cousin rushing on scene, helping her stop an armed robbery.They made a great team.Almost as great as her and Mon-El.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard the broadcaster cut in, loudly wrapping up the segment.

“And it seems Superman has returned better than ever, and with another hero by his side.Has he finally found the elusive Kara Zor-El?”She tried to shake off the grin.Her — _elusive_?She supposed that being Kara had been an elusive concept.But she, herself? Not so much.

Pushing her glasses back up her nose out of habit — and still marveling at how unnecessary they now were for her actual vision — she righted herself and pressed the elevator button.She smiled, considering how easily she could have flown into the office.Just for fun. 

“Clark,” she announced, walking back into his office, “I have a question for you.”

“Kira,” he said, standing up and knocking over his coffee.

“You know the whole clumsy thing makes even _less_ sense, the more I get to know you,” she teased.

“When _you_ adjust back to life in National City, you’ll have trouble, too.That reminds me, I want to get you a pair of lead-lined glasses.Trust me, it’s a necessity.Now — questions.About what?”

“For my first story.I was thinking about your advice.And I realized, what better story can I write than one about family?I mean, it’s always been my quest to find my family, and well,” she grinned, “ _Superman_ found his family.I was wondering if you might help me get an exclusive with him.”

“An exclusive for CatCo?Kira, that’s not fair.”

“Well, I have a feeling Kara Zor-El would let me have her exclusive.You know, we women like to look out for each other.It’s that whole, women-supporting-women future-is-female thing, so maybe…”

“I’ll see what I can do.”Kara smiled, knowing full well he’d do it.Cat Grant was going to be thrilled

“You’re the best.”

 

It was time.Kal and Kara had spend the past week working on helping Metropolis recover from Non’s attack.They’d discussed her game plan for confronting the DEO and introducing herself to National City.Kara had learned to control her powers — at least in a _rudimentary_ sense.She had her story.And most of all, she had her family.Everything she’d ever wanted — home…love… family — it was all finally within reach.

And as much as she wished this partnership could last forever, she needed to return to her life.She had people who loved her and relied on her… and people _she_ loved… there waiting for her.People who loved her when she was Kira as much as they would when she was Kara.She couldn’t stay — not when she knew where she belonged.Besides, if she was to take on the mantle her cousin had, she’d need to become a hero in her own right.Learn how to take what she could do and put it to good use with her conscience and her heart.Kal-El could not be forced to lead her by the hand forever. 

So when she felt ready for her new beginning, she parted with her cousin with a hope-filled farewell.Knowing it was not goodbye.Knowing she still had much to learn. 

With a traditional farewell she hadn’t heard in ages and a brief hugs, Kara and her cousin wished each other the best and promised to visit each other soon.And to stay in touch.After all, they _just_ found each other.There was no giving that up.

“Kara,” Clark said aloud as she reached his door.Kara whipped around, smiling back at her cousin.He took a deep breath and matched her smile.And with a shining light in his eye that she’d not seen in before he spoke again, certain he had her attention.

“Your Daxamite… he’d sure make a hell of a hero.”

“I know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunflower_Nation, jeymien, Jrom0824, neumann, 862euv, Moongrim, Juliakaze, Fandomlove7, AvengingLegendHobo, bloodyinspiredshank, SansZorel, Katie, marshmellow, and Klark -- I miss y'all. I'm so so grateful for you. Thank you for all your love and support on last chapter. It was mind blowing, truly. Thank you a million times over.
> 
> Those of you who aren't reading When Catastrophy Strikes, please consider taking a look. I'm feeding everyone v well. Arc 4 is now complete and Arc 5 & 6 are just about ready to post. 
> 
> Okay, back to birthday plans. Love y'all so so much! Thanks for reading and for not giving up on me <3


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